I wouldn't write to my own daughter if she were in prison. Perhaps you'll be able to get someone here though. Just wondering if you or your mom write to her, if I may ask.

I'm sure if you and your mom were to write to her that would solve the problem. Remember, it's quality and not quantity of penpal friends that matter. It's not a popularity contest. My humble opinion.

Hi Bestlawn,
Thank you for responding so quickly . My mom does write to her,she told mom that the only letters she gets is from her aunt and my mom. I read her last letter to my mom , She seems quite lonely and depressed, says she feels that no one in her family cares for her. I know that sounds weird, but I do feel for this girl, yes, she did something wrong, and I know she should be where she is , but everyone needs friends, and we have all been depressed and feels like no one cares at one time or another. Today was the first day that my mom mentioned her to me. I will be writing to her tonight , it will go out with tomorrows mail. I understand your feeling on the subject, but she is reaching out for friendship from anyone. I dont know if she will respond to each and every letter that she gets, but just getting cards or letters would make her feel better. Thankyou for responding.

JustLinda,
If she received just a few cards or letters it would make her feel better. No problem if you dont want to write , and I appreciate you taking time to respond. If this is not the proper place for this, can someone please redirect me to where I need to be . Is there a list somewhere or a site that the address can be posted. thank you.

I've had three family members (sorta) who were in prison. One was the son of a cousin who robbed a bank. The other was the nephew of my exhusband who stole a car. There happened to be a toddler in the car at the time, so he got a kidnapping rap also even though it was not his intent. The last was my sister who stayed in trouble. They all felt the same way but I cannot do it. I understand you have some synpathy for the way she feels, but I am quesitoning what she did. You don't go to prison for what you stated, not for the first offense of this type.

It's kind of you to have empathy for the girl, but I'm sorry....I just cannot give my name and address to a stranger in prison......

I have to agree with the person above who questioned the circumstances. Are you sure??????? Something doesn't sound right to me, either.

She is in Wrightsville, and I have found a ton of sites for Prisoner pen pals. Just google prisoner pen pals and see what comes up. Thank everyone for your help.

It seems to me that rather than ask a bunch of strangers on the internet to write to her, if you are convinced it is a good thing, why not ask your close friends and family to do it...Most of us here have sympathy for people who are lonely, but we are not sympathetic to people who might in someway hurt us, our family or loved ones....and giving our address to someone in prison equates to opening yourself up for trouble.

Sorry but I will not endanger my family either. It seems to me that perhaps if someone is in prison, then their time should be spent thinking of the damage they may have caused to another person. If they are depressed by it, then so be it. Perhaps next time they will think first before committing a crime. If you do the crime, then you need to spend the time.

Ummm....something sounds strange with this post. Why doesn't the person's family try soliciting for a penpal, and why would one put such a detailed story on the net?

I just know that I wouldn't give my home address to anyone whom I don't know, especially if they're in prison!

Ruthie and Heather have already stated exactly what I had planned to say! Glad I read the above posts. I am also questioning the reason someone who is not a regular poster at the KT would request help here?? Bettye

not a regular poster at the KT would request help here??

The poster is fairly new, and 'does' post to other forums I see in doing a search of 'all forums'.

I often feel like this is a real catch all forum, for me anyway. I often ask things here even though there are more 'specific' forums for what I'm needing to know, but I always find great answers and input about anything I ask here.

You gotta admit...the KT sure is the liveliest forum of all.

Sue

I wouldn't mind writing to her, but I will not provide my name and address.
I guess the other stumbling block is that I don't know what to write. I lead an very boring live (I like it, but it doesn't translate to anything to write about.) I already have trouble writing to nephews and young friends that are in the army.

So, if you think a couple of letters and cards to her will help, please send me her address. You can email me via "My page" on email.

Lynne

OP--I do hope you think twice before sending this girl your name and address. People in prison DO have friends and acquaintances on the outside--many of whom would be very interested in getting the name and addresss of an easily duped young woman. Be very, very, very careful if you allow this woman to know where you live--you may not be safe if she gives that info to others she knows.

We have a couple of people in our family who have gotten involved in drugs--first thing drugs do to someone is destroy their conscience. And that doesn't seem to return, even if they get off that poison. It's extremely dangerous to have anything at all to do with a drug addict (present or former). You put yourself and loved ones at a lot of risk. I hope you don't have children who could be harmed by this person. Oh, and they're EXPERTS at playing the 'poor me' sympathy card, so don't fall for that too easily.

If this post is legit, you're really taking the chance of putting yourself at risk. I can only say again, be very careful, stay safe.

DO NOT GIVE OUT your real name, address email etc to anyone in prison unless it is a close relative and you know the true reasons why they are there. We used to live near 3 prisons in CA and you be surprised what the prisoners and their friends and relatives find out from your letters. They can also go on line and find out from people search much much more. We were warned all the time about this. The relatives on the outside were constantly being picked up for crimes. They would even go to people's houses and ask for money for their friends etc. and where did they get address from--YEP from their friends on the inside. Also if this is a young girl, she probably is under gang control.
Just don't do it!!!

I'm sure many will think I'm being hard and callous, but I would NEVER write to someone in prison, unless they were a relative, and even then I'd think hard about it. They are there for a reason. Don't fall for the "I didn't do it" (I know it happens, but not as often as you think).

When she was in her early twenties, my daughter began writing to a classmate who had been sentenced to 29 years to life for murder (but he swears he didn't do it..........right). Guess what? I ended up being his mother-in-law a little over 5 years ago! She married him (didn't tell us) at the prison. Prisoners don't have to pay anything to get married, isn't that nice? I found out through an acquaintance and double checked with the county to prove it to myself. They can't have conjugal visits (because he is in for murder), so I couldn't figure out why my otherwise intelligent daughter (who doesn't take craP from anyone else) would put herself in this situation. Nothing I could say (and I never really said as much as I wanted to, because I didn't want to drive her away) could convince her that she had made a serious mistake. She had to finally come to that realization herself after several years of letting him make monetary and emotional demands of her. My very strong-willed daughter (quite a handful when a young child) became this meek, weak, doormat. Last year she finally came to her senses and decided to get a divorce. Why? Because she found out that he has several other young women who are willing to supply him with the things he wants/needs to be comfortable. Guess what? If she could get him to initiate the divorce, that would have been free too. But he wouldn't, so she paid for it. The papers had to be served to him three times, to give him the opportunity to agree, and after that she could go through with it without his consent. The divorce will be final in a couple of months. I am so relieved that she will be rid of him. I always felt that if she were to disappoint him, somehow my loved ones could be in danger.

Now, I realize that we are talking about a young woman here, not a man, but that doesn't really change much. Women can be just as manipulative, and it doesn't have to have a romantic angle. I'm all for pen pals, as a rule, but after this experience, I wouldn't communicate with someone in prison.

Just as an aside, he kept telling her that he wanted me to come and visit him after he knew that I had found out about the marriage. My husband and I talked about it - he didn't want me to do it. I told him that I wanted to go just one time so that I could ask them together just what the heck they were thinking! He said that he just wanted to know that she was his. Um, when did we go back to owning people?! I told him that no piece of paper could do that for him.

And for anyone still considering writing to this gal, I can tell you that your address will likely be passed around to other inmates and lots of people will know where you live. I know this as fact.

Is she in the Wrightsville, AR women's unit? If so there is counseling available for inmates. There is also drug rehab available. If she is so lonely and depressed she should seek out counseling through the prison system.

Thanks for sharing your story, Donna. I admire you for your resolve to keep a relationship with your daughter. After all, that's what we moms value the most, right? The last thing you want to do is drive her away, and I'm sure keeping this close connection was helpful to her. I hope she is doing ok now.

Susan

This is a very slippery slope. Prison penpals are a dangerous situation. The prisoners often ask their penpals on the outside for money.

I'd be afraid that after after being their (pen) pal and friend for X number of years, that they would likely want to come for a visit once they were free. I'd then feel really bad to have to say no to that.

Someone mentioned that prisoners could get on computers, and look stuff up. If they can get on computers, and she is lonely, then she won't be lonely for long.

I've wondered before if the people who post during the day either, work at an office, are retired, a stay at home mom, or a prisoner.

I agree with everyone who has cautioned against writing to this girl.

And, Bob411, I usually post in the evening when I am sitting in front of my computer in the room that's called my "office" here at home. In a household with children, this would be a bedroom. My husband has his computer in another spare bedroom that is his "office" at home. But, there are times when I will post from work during the day; and there are other days when I am telecommuting and post during the workday but from my home computer.

Please don't judge people by the time of day that they post to the forums.

Appreciate your posting!
You have a right to ask, but I have to agree with others!
We would love to have you as a regular member of the KT, and WELCOME!

Geezzzzzzzzzz, wow ! Some of you have really watched to much CSI on TV. I just needed some info on where to find out how to get a prisoner on a list for pen pals. None of you had to write . I cant believe some of the comments, and the uneasyness. Now I remember why I dont post to many of these boards, its because there is always some cliche group that no matter what the subject is that they have to go off the deep end and send out the WARNING SIGNS they think we all are to dumb to see. NO ONE ask you to send money, to anyone, and I apologize for not seeing the warning signs of my post before posting. Im sorry that I ask for anyones help, and be assured that this is the end of my post from me. You have all expressed your opinion and one day I hope you are not reaching out for someones help and everyone is scared of you.

Sandra, I don't think anyone was attempting to attack you personally. I think one of the concerns is that no one generally gets sent to prison for a first offense unless that offense is pretty dang serious. Stealing a car from her boyfriend is usually not the type of thing that causes a prison sentence, because the authorities understand that someone can give permission to use their vehicle, then get in a fight with that person and turn around and claim the vehicle was stolen -- a "he said, she said" situation.

And even if this girl is the world's most innocent prisoner, her "prisonmates" most likely aren't very innocent; and it is the likelihood that someone's location can become known to hard core criminals that is daunting, to say the least.

This is just too funny, and you are way too defensive for me to think you sincere in the least. I looked you up last night and had my suspicions but held my tongue, waiting to see if you would do exactly as you have done here. You have requested nothing from any of these boards that you cannot find yourself just by googling. The girl you're talking about has more of such resources at her own disposal than all of us put together. Not to mention you, your mother, all the rest of your family, your friends, their family and friends, and all of her own family and friends. How much more can one pity party possibly require? But you chose to come to boards of strangers, asking them to offer their email address and home address to not only you but also a criminal - a criminal that does not exist, at least not for the reasons you express. Then, you have the nerve to insult us because you screwed up your own scam. We immediately saw the "WARNING SIGNS" from YOU! So, next time try harder to remember why you don't post to many of these boards, oookkaaayyy.

And you spelled clique wrong, to which I do not subscribe.

I was just trying to be funny. I don't want to make people feel uncomfortable about when they post. Another possibility I didn't think of is, people who live on the other side of the world, being in a different time zone. 9 months out of the year I work 60 to 70 hours a week. Jan. Feb. March it gets real spotty, I might work 1 or 2 days a week, or not at all. Not embarrassed to post when I can.

Word for word, you said, "Thankyou for your time and please let me know what you would do".

That is exactly what we did.

Don't you just love it when someone asks something like that, then attacks the folks who were concerned enough to take the time to offer caring, constructive advice? I think at least 99% of the replies to this poster were put there out of serious concern for her safety.

Her reaction certainly makes one wonder if the original post wasn't an attempt at some sort of scam to start with. Hope not, but I did have my doubts, too (as you can see in my previous reply).

Pat yourselves on the back, folks, you are all pretty smart!