You will get lots of input at the Organizing the Home forum.

Here is a link that might be useful: Organizing GW forum

I typed "hoarding" spelled this way, and many links came up with lenghty threads , the Organizing forum is fantastic.

sorry, need spell chec

Are you talking about people who just are happy with lots of stuff around. . .or really obsessive, compulsive hoarding?

The first case suggests compromising (you get one room that is spare, the other person gets a room with clutter).

The latter case can be tougher because obsessive hoarders are never certain that they won't need something. They feel emotionally off center when they have to let things go. It can be very frightening or uncomfortable for them.

The first case may be solved by a call to a home organizer or decorator or appeal to this site. The second case is better directed to a therapist with expertise with OCD.

I know someone who lived with a guy who was a hoarder---the obsessive type. He had lottery tickets from 20 years ago, shirts that were still in the packages, cases of beer that were given to him (he doesn't drink, but he kept them anyway), dozens and dozens of baseball caps, etc. There is little you can do to change that type of person, especially if they've always been that way. That guy was like that because his ex-wife took literally everything he owned, so now he keeps everything he acquires, whether he needs it or not.

My husband is somewhat of a hoarder, but he does go through periods of purging his junk. Just the other day, he was looking for something that he was blaming me for "moving it when I cleaned," and he came across dozens of computer games that he admitted he'll never play again (he has X-box now). He put all the games in bags and set them in the middle of the floor, rather than on the shelf and in the drawer they had been in. So he didn't exactly get rid of them, but he intends to. I can't do anything with them myself, because they're his.

He also keeps anything electronic that he ever had, even if it's been upgraded several times. I'm talking about computers (and their keyboards, monitors, etc.), amplifiers, tape players, CD players, boom boxes, PDAs, speakers, you name it. If it plugs in, he keeps it. Again, he will purge these things at some point, probably when he needs the space to store hoard something else.

My husband is also extremely disorganized! He likes to buy products to get organized, such as file folders, cabinets, and plastic boxes, and he'll put his junk away. It just doesn't stay there. He gets things out to use them and never puts them back where they belong. I've gotten so used to him misplacing things that I use a lot (masking tape, flashlight, tape measure, Sharpies), that I've started buying doubles and putting them in a "secret" spot.

So, bodica, which type of person are you dealing with? Disorganized? An obsessive hoarder? A "specific" hoarder who keeps certain things but tosses others?

Disorganized people can often be helped, and there are forums, specialists, and products available. Obsessive hoarders, like the man I described, probably can't (without therapy?), and you'll need to decide if that's a "deal breaker" for you. (The person I know who lived with that guy had to keep her clothing in boxes because there wasn't room in the dressers or closets. She was OK with that apparently.) The kind like my husband (hoarder but also disorganized) can be tolerated, and I can offer some suggestions on how to deal with different situations.