Remy's package to me arrived today. What a big box and so full of all kinds of goodies! I tried to make a list so hopefully I have everything written down. Remy sent me Trachystemon orientalis, two daylilies (I looked up Ball Gown on the internet and I think it is Remy's picture of it shown in the example!), Helenium, an iris, a pulmonaria, Succisa pratensis, and Leontine Gervais Rose. That looks like such a beauty on Remy's blog. I hope it grows well for me. She also included some homemade applesauce (totally yum!), green tea, stevia, a pop-up vase, landscape gloves, and a tissue pack with flowers printed on them. Thanks so much, Remy. You really spoiled me! Jeanne

I've just discovered this thread and not a moment too soon (or late?). I can sooooo sympathsize. I'm also a stay at home mom former teacher debating the return to work. I have gotten totally jazzed reading all the great ideas and options. like you, I know htat my whole family would be miserable if I returned to work full-time. Right now I have a great set up subbing at my oldest dd's school. I have MIL babysit and when she can't I swap child care with a neighbor who works evenings. If you ever do feel the need to sub, find a nice girl's school with strict rules. My daughter's school is a dream to sub at. Small class sizes, the teachers always leave extensive plans and the girls actually respect the teachers (even subs). But as you said the pay sucks. It really only works out to be spending cash for me. So the ideas in the thread about future employment when my youngest starts school are real boosters. Good luck with that pet sitting. I am envious of your opportunity and the excitement that goes with something new and exciting - not to mention lucrative!

We thought it would be compelling in DH's case because BM lived in a 2 bedroom house with her mother and shared one room with both of her girls (ages 7 & 10) and had her out of town boyfriend sleep over in the same room with her daughters. We found SD posing her Barbie dolls in sex positions 'like mommy' and talk about mommy kissing & stuff with her boyfriend when she thought SD was asleep. DH offered to help BM pay for an apartment so she (BM) would have her own room where SD wouldn't be subjected to that but BM refused. She was living with her mom rent free and didn't want to pay anything. So, DH asked for physical custody because he could provide SD with her own room in our house. The court stated that BM could not be penalized because she could not afford better housing and the allegations of her boyfriend staying over could not be proven, she wasn't even dating him anymore by then. The court kept the previous arrangement of 50/50 every other week schedule. Of course, three weeks later, she met a new man and moved 3 hours away and just handed over custody of SD to us. That's when things went from bad to worse. SD wanted to go with her mom or didn't understand why her mom left her. She was a wreck and it's been an uphill battle with her ever since. Especially since her mom feeds her a bunch of lies.. that we stole her... that we won't let her go live over there... that we want to cut her off completely from her mom. Anyone that has followed my posts knows that for the past two months, DH has basically had to force her to come get her daughter and for over a year, my biggest gripe is that she won't call or answer her phone.. she doesn't come to school stuff, sports or anything to do with SD's life here. She didn't even celebrate her daughter's birthday with her last year... she promised SD to celebrate on her weekend and then went out to a party with her BF, leaving SD with BF's parents to babysit. Then, told SD that she didn't get to celebrate her birthday because WE didn't invite her to the party at our house. My point is: The behavioral problems that a BM can create with telling a child things like this are immense. If your SD's BM is convinced now that you are trying to take her child away... she will forever convince (or try to) your SD that you are responsible for taking her away and she will be the victim with SD's loyal sympathy. Be very careful about what you wish for, it doesn't always end up the way you imagine. My advice to you is to document what you can. Contact the authorities and let them decide if an investigation is necessary. Be supportive of your SD and be a soft place for her to fall when she needs it and it never hurts to have your DH offer to keep SD if BM gets overwhelmed. Keep documenting and seek the advice of a counselor or neutral third party that isn't going to push you to jump in with guns drawn, but will advise you how to handle the situation. What one person is appalled at, another person doesn't think it's so bad. If you go on a witch hunt, you may end up looking like you are just out to get BM because you don't agree with her lifestyle. I agree, it's not a good role model for her kids.. she sounds like she has some problems but the question arises... Is it to a level that constitutes a change in custody? Then the custody of her other kids may be placed in question. If it's so bad for your SD, her other kids may be impacted. This will affect more than just your SD. Think long and hard at all possible consequences and then take action as necessary. The health & safety of the children is the primary concern.. not necessarily the morals of the mother.

"I'm just incredulous that the police didn't think getting punched in the nose is not assault simply because the victim avoided a broken nose" YEP. I am actually more pissed about it, the more time that goes by. I don't really know what BM said to the police because they talked to me inside and she was out in the driveway. I know she was claiming I HIT HER first which pisses me off because I didn't hit her AT ALL. I covered my face with my hands and ran! LOL. Even SS saw everything that happened and was screaming/crying at his mom to not hurt me. TRUST ME, as loyal as he is to her, if I had hit her, he would have been yelling at ME. But according the cops--it's a "domestic issue" and they told me it's always he said/she said. It also made me angry because one of the cops (there were, like 6 or 7 of them) said "well, if she is so drunk, why'd you let her in the house?" UGH. I let her in and didn't call the police to avoid a SCENE like the one we had! Granted, in hindsight, I shouldn't have let her in--but she was sobbing at the backdoor and then SS SAW her. :( It all worked out really badly. I did the best I could under the circumstances. That one cop was kind of rude to me, I thought, but the others were all pretty nice. The last one to leave did tell me that I have 6 months to press charges. He didn't really say I should or shouldn't, but just said it was an option but that in domestic situations, it is hard to get anything to stick. I am angry the police were not more helpful to ME. MY house, MY driveway, MY yard--she's DRUNK, and I'm SOBER, taking care of two children. Let's see.....who is in the wrong here?