I say go- then give them whatever money is left. I was tempted to do the same thing when my niece married. But she cried! So we went and had the best time with the family. I don't regret it for a second.

Trish

When are you going to get the chance again, to see family, enjoy the whole wedding event, and get to be in Charleston in the springtime?! Absolutely, get here, and be a part of their day/days. Money isn't everything.

Patti, tell yourself he only gets married once, and we already see, you would like to be there, thus, go.

You will all make GREAT memories.

Moni

Do that instead of one of your vacations this year if need be. Your heart is telling you to go. Start shopping sales for the outfits (Check Ross's), Look for online deals for hotels. I think spring break will be about over by then so hopefully rates go down.

GO Patti go!!
Having family there for the wedding will be great for you all!

i'd say go, memories are priceless both the ones you will have and he will get. i had a wedding here in orlando w/ reception and my dad threw a separate reception in chicago the following weekend. anybody who travelled for either i refused to accept a gift from. they spent enough $$ to come to our wedding or reception and share in the memories. gooo you will not regret it and the couple would probably prefer your presence than $$ as a substitute :-) ~ liz

Go.
I bet your presence will mean a lot more to them than your present.

Weddings are family events...weddings and funerals - go to the happy event.

Go, it's not like you'll have another opportunity! Plus, like bigfoot_liz said, I'll bet having you there will be a much more appreciated gift than money:-)

Go Girl Go!
I LOVE my aunts. They have always been such a big part of my life. I send them cards for mothers' day. I would so much rather my aunts be with me for any event than a gift of any value. Luckily for me they have always felt the same. The family time together is (IMHO) the reason for a wedding.

No question--you must go! It's important.

I echo it - GO! If you don't, he's likely to think that he wasn't worth your effort. And if you adore him as I do my nephew (and that's what I'm hearing in your post), he's worth every cent. I think he will appreciate you being at his wedding (that is an honor!) more than $500.

Suzieque

I agree with everyione who said "GO". Your "present" will be your presence. Of course, allow some money for a check to the bride & groom. You'll all have wonderful memories. Priceless.

Absolutely: GO
Ditto all the above.

i would think you would want to see him get married..Nothing like the real thing.
if you are crazy about him ,

Sit at home, miss all the family and fun times...No Way!
I'm with everyone else here...you go, girl!

It may nip at your budget, but it sounds like it would be well worth it. Weddings aren't about big gifts...they are about promises and commitment in the presence of loved ones who are there to support the couple in their new life together. Have fun, and send us pictures!

When our DD married in 2005, she chose to marry at home even though she and her fiance and friends all lived in San Francisco. She invited a whole crowd of single girlfriends who came and stayed at one girl's family vacation home free, but none of them gave the couple a wedding gift, which surprised me. But, I know flying down to southern California was costly too, so I figured that they felt that the cost of a plane ticket was enough to invest in their friends' wedding. My DD and I would have much rather had them join us at the rehearsal dinner and wedding and reception as they did than have them miss attending because of costs. They limited their costs to airline tickets and a few meals where we did not entertain them. But the wedding was sooooo much more fun because they joined the crowd of friends who came to celebrate with us. That day will live in our family's memory forever, and a pickle fork would never hold a candle to it.

Go to the wedding if you feel you can afford it. Look for more reasonable accommodations if you can find them. Shop the sales for the clothing, and celebrate the wedding of your fine young man.

I'd say go, but make use of the time you have to economize a bit. Do you have a friend you could borrow a dress for the wedding? Thrift shop? You know, you don't need a $25,000 gown. You must have some nice clothes you could wear. Ten years from now they'll remember that you were there, and not what did she wear!

Accommodations are your big expense. You must be able to find accommodations for less than $500! How many nights are you planning to stay? Find a cheap motel! You're probably going to use the motel to sleep only so don't look for places with all the amenities. Find a bed, a roof and four walls and save the bucks.

If they have good jobs the gift is of little consequence. Having you there would be of value to them I think. And your joy of being there is immeasurable.

I'm never one to tell someone to spend money they can't afford. But I don't think you're prevented from attending. You can afford $500 to give them so try to budget the trip for $500. You might be surprised how cheap you can go.

Are there people there with whom you could stay, without driving each other crazy? Maybe instead of restaurant meals for the trip, make sandwiches and bring drinks with you.

You're probably talking, what, 400 miles each way? Easy drive in a day. Arrive the day before, rest up, see other family, next day is wedding, next day BBQ and possibly spend the night before heading back.

I'd do some research. You might be surprised.

You remember that credit-card commercial, right?
Some things are priceless.

And you NEED to be in the wedding photos! Will you be the only aunt/uncle NOT there?

If you stay home, come that wedding day, you will be feeling miserable and wishing you were there.

I'm another in the "GO!!!" camp. Years from now your nephew and his wife will remember your celebrating with them, and it will be a cherished memory, more so than any gift of cash would be.
In any case, I think you can find a nice place to stay for a lot less than $500, www.expedia.com for instance is offering Best Western Charleston for less than $100 a night. You can look on Trip Advisor for more options.
I'm sure you can find other ways to economise. A lot of ladies here have pointed out great special occasion dresses they have found in sales by being patient. Meals that are not with the wedding group don't have to be expensive, some could even be picnics :-) The wedding gift could be a personal item of family significance- grandma's vase, a family photo album, etc, if you feel your attendance is not gift enough (if I was the bride or groom that would be enough for me :-) ).
Start planning to join your family to celebrate a wonderful event!

Here is a link that might be useful: Trip Advisor Charleston Hotels

Gifts (and Money) last but for a little while, memories last a lifetime (for EVERYONE). Go. When my kids were married, it was NEVER about the gift. It was about who was there. Who cared enough to be there...and of course the understanding when they "couldn't" come as opposed to "wouldn't" be there.

Vickey-MN

I'm sure that you'll be regretful if you don't go.

You've had some good suggestions with regard to cost cutting.

Are there some family members with whom you might be able to bunk without being too disruptive of their routine, for, as others have said, you'll be spending little time at your sleeping place. And if they're involved with the wedding, their routine will be disrupted, and revolve largely around the wedding, anyway.

How about a Bed and Breakfast ... though often they are not much lower cost than hotel/motel accomodation.

I'm sure they'll value your presence more than the extra amount that your gift would be ... and I'm sure that you'll value it more, as well.

Go - and have a ball!

ole joyful

P.S. Money is a great servant ... and a lousy master.

If you don't boss your money - there's a good possibility that it'll boss you.

o j

Late - but another GO!!! Who knows what tomorrow will
bring - don't make reasons for regrets, if you can
help it.

Have a wonderful time!!!

Wow--nobody said "stay home". Even OJ! LOL!

It isn't so much about the money except for the fact they'd like to buy a house soon and every bit helps. Also, I'm 1/4 Scotch and sometimes get too practical for my own good.

We want to stay where family members are staying and had already made reservations (which I was thinking of cancelling). So the cost is what it is.

But thanks to you all, we will go and celebrate without guilt. Thank you, thank you!!

Go to the wedding. Cut back on the expense of a gift. When one of my cousins got married 10 years ago in Jackson Hole, WY, the motel cost me $100/night. For a wedding gift I gave them copies of snapshots of the groom when he was 3 yrs. old. The bride told me in a thank you note that was the best gift they received.

Go and celebrate with joy!

Wellllll...I can't believe that you didn't wait for my answer but here goes anyway. (J/K)

Go ...pick up the phone and make reservations....NOW!