Thanks everyone. I can't say enough about Alexis Sunny Pants. It just finished blooming yesterday and had multiple blooms open most days. Tropical Nights is a really nice plant too. Seems to be a little off schedule this year though because its registered as an early-mid. Val

One of the things I got out of the conference was the effects of stress on the body. The one speaker Dr. Michael Roizen (the Real Age guy) said it should be up there with Tobacco as far as workplace health promotion is concerned, even before nutrition and physical activity. I had to introduce a speaker who teaches Mindfullness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) at Duke University, and I was very intrigued by her session. It was great to see there is a local class here. The one positive thing about the flu was that I *had* to stay home and rest. It is nice to finally be able to hug and kiss DH again. We are so glad we have another kitty. Coming home to a cat-less house would be even worse.

Wow, this thread has taken off. Just a few days and I'm about 30 posts behind. As mkroopy observed, it's difficult to take this as a 'black-and-white' issue simply because there are so many variables to be considered. Roles within the blended family unit can change dramatically depending on the amount of time the child is in your home, the involvement of the other bio-parent, the amicability or animosity the bio-parents feel toward one-another, the age and personality of the kids involved, and the makeup in general of the stepparent in question to name only a few. As I mentioned in my post WELL above now, my own personal saga involves a situation where my stepson has been physically in our home about 95% of the time, and since high school probably closer to 98%-99%. We also have two younger children of our own, and I feel that all parties consider us to be a full-on family unit. Certainly things would be totally different if my stepson were with us less than half of the time or only on certain holidays, so my comments only apply to my own current makeup. With that in mind, I really like silversword's comment above: ""I think if you trust someone enough to marry them, combine finances, have them drive your kids around in the car, have them sleep in the same house at night with your kids, have them dispense medicine and go to doctor visits, etc. etc. etc. that they should be able to put the kid in time out, take away privileges, etc. That's what I mean by discipline."" That's what I'm talking about. If you marry someone who you feel is a good person, then why would you not allow that person to make calls on basic discipline/privilege revocation? Especially if you have children with that person and thereby consider him in a good enough light to be a father to these other children of yours. Moms and dads have had different opinions on child rearing from time immemorial, but I think that's a good thing. I would submit that the fusion of stereotypical mom nurturing and stereotypical dad toughening is a great mixture that should be applied liberally to any growing child. I speak from my own experience when I say that the effects of neglecting one side can be long-lasting. My stepson, while in high school and beyond, got into some pretty major problems: arrested for drinking underage, for causing mischief with a knife the night before Halloween, and even later being caught with pot in his car. Right from the start I wanted to be able to step in - WITH my wife - and try to correct his course. I spoke with him quite frankly about these issues, and even suggested that his mother and I would have to discuss sanctions. Problem was, he totally knew the situation. For years I was not allowed to take a full role in the parenting and he basically blew me off. Knowing he only had his mom to contend with, he'd make a full-court press to her and get what he wanted. I recall one situation where he was caught at 15 with booze and arrested. I went and got him from the police station that night and told him that I'd be speaking with his mom and was sure there would be sanctions. He actually laughed. The NEXT night, his mother allowed him to go out to a party, and the kid basically sneered at me. When I asked my wife about it, she just said that he was being so annoying about going out that she just couldn't hear it anymore and let him go. When I expressed to her my feelings about my lack of authority and my stepson's reaction she again stated the mantra: "I am his mother, you are the stepfather, and so you are not allowed to discipline". Look, mine is an extreme case, I know. And hopefully my stepson is more of the exception and not the rule in the way he has acted. But if your spouse is going to be a step to your child and if they are going to be in the home together a good majority of the time, I feel it must be incumbent on both adults to share the authoritative role. Yes, the step should be allowed to give the timeouts, impose extra chores, remove a privilege when the kids are younger. When older, they should then be part of the team that works with the child/young adult if more intense situations arise as well as positive aspects like choosing a school, relationships, etc. My experience tells me that without the parenting involvement at the beginning, the latter involvement is all but impossible. Sadly, I feel it has affected my and my stepson's relationship in other areas as well. I'm less inclined to seek him out to go play golf or to a movie or something like that because I feel disrespected many times by him - and have been outright disrespected at others. Again, just a case-in-point and probably a more extreme one at that, but hopefully some food for thought.

Peren.all - Astilboides is one of my favorite plants! I'm a sucker for big leaves :-). I usually cut the flowers down pretty quick as they are a distraction from the leaf display! These Astilboides in our north alley garden bask in water delivered by a (buried under the path) pipe from the end of a downspout at the back corner of the house. The neighbour next door also directs water to them from one of their downspouts. I have another Astilboides elsewhere in the garden that doesn't have a source of extra water and it is pathetic in comparison to these ones: What are you other favorite big leafed plants?