Is an apology in order?

11 years ago

This morning I delivered a bottle of eggnog to each of my neighbors. I attached a large bow and a Merry Christmas tag to each bottle. I am now realizing that one of my neighbors is Jewish. I just wasn't thinking! Should I call that neighbor and apologize? I went so far as to say Merry Christmas when the neighbor answered his doorbell. He replied with Happy Holidays. It was after I got back home that I realized my error. I don't want to compound my error but I don't wish to offend him either. What should I do?

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Comments (9)

jterrilynn
11 years ago
I would just call them up and say I hope you don't mind but I think of all those I care about during Christmas regardless of their denomination and wanted to share with you. Please forgive me if I offended you as that is not what I intended.
neetsiepie
11 years ago
I'd do nothing. I'm sure it's not the first time your neighbor has been greeted with Merry Christmas. Just be more aware next time. Might help to familiarize yourself when Hanukkah begins and ends so you can avoid a faux pas like that next year.

FWIW, Hanukkah started on 12/8 this year, so it's already over.
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We had other trades in the past that were OK. This one went badly. I have not got her end yet. It caused me great sorrow and I Did give it my best. She came to me asking a favor from another forum, This I did for her. I got dead shriveled up daylilies. The iris were miss handled in the post and were not good when she got them! NOT MY FAULT, So I sent her 2 heirloom Peony plants and 3 seeds of a rare summer squash. Guess that was not good enough. So I thought I should off her a Apology. Now offense intended. Ban me if you must, I do not care. I did not even give her a bad review. Do what you must! I did my best to make it right. She is deceptive.
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No apology necessary- always glad to help get the names straight. That being said- the Peaches & Cream debate has gone on since 1993 when Peaches-n-Cream was introduced by Blue DG. There already was a Peaches & Cream introduced in 1991 by Madeline Geisert & the confusion began. Sometimes the "&" was put instead of the "N" & sometimes it was written "and" -- no one can keep them straight esp. if they don't have a classification book to look them up in. The "&" one is a waterlily - yellow & pink. The "n" one is a formal dec. light blend of white & orange. Sounds like you have the "n" one. To further confuse the issue, there isn't one with "and" in the name but it gets written that way a lot. Hope everyone is so thoroughly confused by now that they just look at the pictures & wish for summer >:)
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Fran,I am happy you addressed this,it was tearing my heart out watching a few of my buddies at odds with eachother. You all are great ladies and of course have different points of view. I am probably sticking my nose in where it doesnt belong,but from both negative posts, I got that the fact, there was no communication with them and,that this person was posting elsewhere for trades and such,was the part that was most upsetting to them.I find it hard to swallow that either of these ladies were nasty and that is why they were avoided. Maybe emails did get sent to spam,it seems there was alot of miscommunication and confusion in these trades. That is why it is important for people that know they have trades out there to touch base,I bet if both of these ladies had been contacted and told what was going on,there would have been no negative post or hard feelings. It is understandable that when someone has tragedy in their lives that they would not be thinking of seed trades,and I am sorry to hear that this person has suffered as she is,it really is alot for one person to take. But at one point you do have to take care of your commitments,even if it is a brief email saying..."I didnt forget about you.Please hold on a bit longer"... This situation can be a valuable lesson for others,communication is golden and it can avoid alot of, what I consider a tragedy, here. I hope there is a happy ending to all of this,I don't like seeing people I care about hurting or on the defense. I know this is really none of my business,but it has been bothering me, and from an outside point of view,I think there can be resolution in this and that everyone will come out smiling! I dont know the person all this is about,but I do know you ladies,some better than others,and I know you all have hearts of gold and are great people!:) Oh, and Fran, I do believe that the PO can be not so dependable....dont get me started on that!...lol.... ~Angie,who hopes no one is mad at her for this post!
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I was not the recipient of either but can so relate to the mix up. I saved seeds for what I marked as chard and to my surprise there are beets growing in the spot that was to be chard. But like you said, all is a blessing, when it is green and growing in the garden.
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User
11 years ago
What a sweet thing to do. Obviously, he (they) probably recognize it was all with good intentions and weren't offended. If it were me, I wouldn't make a big deal of it, I'd just call and say what you wrote here, you got home and realized the difference in religion, feel badly and hope they weren't offended. Don't beat yourself up about it, your heart was certainly in the right place which is a lot more than I can say for a lot of people I've dealt with this week.
ellendi
11 years ago
You meant well. Jewish people like egg nog too! I don't think you should call to apologize. If it keeps bothering you, next time you see them you can explain that you learned that they are Jewish after you gave them the egg nog and say it with a smile . Most likely they were happy you thought of them.
If they are the type to be offended you will be able to tell by how they respond.
I also like the idea of doing things differently next year. Your heart is in the right place.
DLM2000-GW
11 years ago
I would not worry about it one bit. If one of my non-Jewish neighbors greeted me with eggnog and Merry Christmas I would not be offended at all. I hope this is not offensive to anyone but when I hear the *words* Merry Christmas I hear the *meaning* of happy Holidays. As much as it is a religious holiday/season it's also become a national one in many ways and to offer a greeting and a gift trumps all else, IMO.
4boys2
11 years ago
You are so sweet !
Wait a month and drop off some figs to all your neighbors..
Vertise
11 years ago
It's your time of year and nothing wrong with including anyone and everyone with well wishing and treats! I don't think it's necessary to not wish someone a "Merry Christmas" even if they aren't really celebrating it. As dlm2000 said, they will probably understand and hear 'happy holidays' anyway and appreciate being included. So, I don't think I would make a big deal of it. You can always remember next year. Maybe when you see them again, you could ask if they had a nice holiday.

I kind of use happy holidays a lot, to cover New Years, just because it's more general if I don't actually know someone's religious practices.

This post was edited by snookums2 on Sat, Dec 22, 12 at 22:40
marlene_2007
11 years ago
What a lovely thing to do!

I have friends who know I am Jewish and they give me Christmas cards and Christmas gifts. I don't mind at all. I love this time of year! It's not necessary to say anything to you neighbor.

Merry Christmas :-)
sable_ca
11 years ago
I am also Jewish and I would have been delighted with your gift. There are very few Jews in our area and so I am used to the assumption that I am Christian and it just does not bother me. If you would feel better telling your neighbors that you actually meant "Happy Hanukah", I am positive that they would be fine and gracious with that. But I don't think they were offended.

You might mark on your 2013 calendar that Hanukah next year begins on Nov. 28. Any time during that eight-day period would be fine for you to drop off an early gift!

What a great neighbor you are!

Is an apology in order?

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jterrilynn

neetsiepie

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