First of all, Sue, you need to chase away those negative thoughts about yourself. They aren't fancier, etc. How do you know they haven't struggled over their outfits? Don't assume they are any different than you are!!

I always introduce myself, then turn the conversation toward them. I find something I like about what they are wearing and give them a compliment. "I love your boots/shoes/dress/jewelry/whatever! They are adorable/beautiful/whatever."

When you have worn out that conversation, ask them about themselves. "What do you/your spouse do here?, etc." Generally people are very friendly and will participate in conversation. Just be a great listener and act interested in what they say and keep asking them questions while you share just a little about yourself. Most people love to talk about themselves.

I can get a complete stranger to tell me their life story, just by being interested in their conversation. People are way more alike than different.

I like to ask how stranger & spouse met each other, what activities their kids are into, how they juggle work and raising a family, about all the different places they've lived.

The nervous breakdown over the one formal event of the year -- LOL!!! So glad someone else feels this way! DH is coming down with a cold, and I'm soooo hoping he won't feel like going to the company party. Feeling like such a cow right now.

At this time of year, I usually start with:

Are you doing anything special for the holidays ? do you have any vacation plans in the new year ?

golddust's suggestions are excellent !!

I always tell myself that 'shy' is just another word for 'self-absorbed'. Don't be self-absorbed and you will have a blast! DD and I make a point to meet strangers at parties. People are very interesting. Really!

I try so very hard not to end up in that corner! I feel for you. I really can't stand trying to make small talk. It doesn't come natural to me.

The above suggestions are good ones. You can always throw conversation about the weather in there too. :)

Yes -- first and foremost -- introduce yourself AND mention your spouse's name. And PLEASE mention that you are his wife/friend/girlfriend/significant other etc. I am TERRIBLE at remembering names/exact stages of relationships and how they relate/work at these types of functions ..... LOL! :)

Excellent suggestions above! :)

Yes -- a compliment is always nice!

And chatting about the weather, any parking problems tonight, plans for the holiday season?, the food, the drink, the music.

Just an idea: the "fancier" person probably does have an active social life with various community activities and charities. Lots of interesting things to ask about! How did she get involved, how does she manage her time with all those demands, how does she handle talking with strangers. Do joke about yourself being stressed out for this one social event of the year. Maybe Fancy Person will offer you some friendly reassurance, useful advice, or interesting anecdotes.

I like to wear something unusual, like an oversized or seasonal broach, to give people something to talk to me about. :)

I usually introduce myself, and then lead with something slightly off the wall-- " real tree or fake? Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?" and then listen. Many people are glad of the chance to talk to someone who seems interested. I avoid the weather, politics, pop culture, and most sports topics, and instead ask people about themselves. i can usually draw people out, and lasso another person into the conversation, so we end up as quite the merry little group.

I guess I should have been more clear. I actually know who most of these people are, but I don't know anything about them really. So it's not a case where I'd have to introduce myself or ask who their spouse is, but just need to search for something to chat about. I like the idea of opening with a compliment! I usually ask about any travel plans for the holidays so that's a good one, too. DH told me we are expected to sit with different people than we usually sit with this year, so that made me stress a little. Usually, after a drink, I'm better at being chatty!

awm, had to chuckle at your comment. I'm feeling like a cow, too. Really wish I could go to this party wearing sweatpants and a fleece top. It is SO cold here today. I hate dressing up when it's cold. But I got a mani/pedi today, so I'm feeling a little more festive!

Tell us about the party!

golddust, I was thinking about everyone's advice that night and laughing to myself. I ended up sitting next to someone at dinner who I'd never met. She has a new baby and talked about everything from pregnancy woes to baby cereal the entire time. I barely had to say a word!

And if you saw my other post about our travel plans, you can guess what we had to talk about for a good part of the night! Everyone had lots of suggestions for us...

She has a new baby and talked about everything from pregnancy woes to baby cereal the entire time. I barely had to say a word!

Oy ... sounds like she could've used a bit of pre-party coaching to prevent coming across as a bore! ;-D

Sounds like you had a nice evening though! Well done!

Maybe you should have asked us about invisible earplugs. LOL!

A little late to the party, but here is mine when all else fails..... "How are those gorgeous grand-babies (or that beautiful/handsome son or daughter) doing"? They will never shut up.

Then you will wish you had the earplugs.