the bottle of wine slightly ot

16 years ago

Sally was driving home from one of her

business trips when she saw an elderly

woman walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one,

she stopped the car and asked the woman

if she would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman

got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in

vain to make a bit of small talk with

the woman. The old woman just sat

silently, looking intently at EVERYTHING

she saw, studying every little detail,

until she noticed a brown bag on the

seat next to Sally.

"What's in bag?" asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and

said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it

for my husband."

The woman was silent for another moment or

two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom

of an elder, she said:

"Good trade."

This remodel sometimes make that trade tempting, and I don't drink wine!

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Comments (12)

oruboris
16 years ago
Just remember womyn: your sons are four times more likely to kill themselves than your daughters. This relentless negativity doesn't help anyone, no matter how superior it makes you feel.
User
16 years ago
Oh, for pity's sake. Lighten up. Victim mentality is so unattractive.
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Slightly OT: Cats on the Counters-How to Stop Them?
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My cat is trained not to go on the counters. It takes some real patience on your part, though. A real "cat person" loaned me a book called "how to make your cat do what you want" when I got my cat, since I had never had one before. I learned a few critical things from that book: 1. Cats do not respond well to negative reinforcement from you. If you yell or chastise them when they do something, they will do it because it gets your attention, and sometimes out of anger or spite or just to demonstrate that you are NOT the boss of THEM. 2.Positive reinforcement SHOULD come from you so the cat associates you with the positive rather than the negative. 3. Negative reinforcement should NOT be associated with you and should happen both when you are there and when you are not. 4. If you punish a cat every time they do something, they only learn not to do it when you are around. Several methods were suggested, but what worked for me was the marbles. Cats hate loud noises. You put a handful of marbles in cleaned out tin cans and line the counter with them. Leave them there all the time that you are not working at the counter. Space them so the cat can not jump up onto the counter between them without knocking them over. If the cat jumps on the counter he/she will knock over the can of marbles onto the floor which will cause a loud noise as the marbles fall and startle the cat. The scat mats would also work, but you would need to cover the counters with them and that would be rather expensive. I would not want to spray stuff on my counters that is not food worthy, so check out what is in those sprays and how they smell and make sure they will not be absorbed into the stone or damage the resin or discolor the stone. I lived with those cans of marbles for about 6 months, but my cat is now 9 yrs old and never goes on the counters. I confess to having knocked them over more than she did. I found the easiest way to live with them is to just push the cans to the back of the counter while you are working in the kitchen so you are less likely to knock them over yourself, and then just slide them forward again when you are done. When she did jump up on the kitchen table a few times after I stopped using the cans, I would laugh, pick her up off the table and put her on the floor, and tell her "that's not for kitties". If she jumped up again, I laughed, held her up so I was looking at her on "eye level" and said the same thing, then kissed her on the head and placed her back on the floor. If I had to I would have put the cans back rather than yell at her, a good decision as I learned later with my couch. She doesn't go on the table now 9 years later, either. However, I wasn't so smart with the couch and yelled at her and shooed her away from it. To this day, if I am ignoring her and she wants to get my attention, she will go over to the couch and start to run her claws over it! I am not sure if it is out of print now or not, but even if it is, if you can get a used copy off eBay or somewhere, it is worth the price. It is esp useful if you are starting with a kitten, because the learned behaviors will be with that cat (and YOU) for many years. It might take longer for cats that are older and were used to getting up there, but a new kitchen and a new countertop are a great time to alter the behavior. The cat is aware that things have changed and this is new stuff. He/She might as well learn that the new counters just aren't as friendly as the old ones. :) Sue
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The advantages of having kids and grandkids! Well, well trained ones, if you can get them! Even a SO will do in a pinch! If I had lived there, I probably would have been able to finish everything the morning after the party. Also, I spent quite a bit of time the next day dealing with an issue that came up with my elderly father, whom I am quasi caring for at yet another place. How I long for the stability of one home and one town that I live in rather than endless packing and being on the road. I can say from my perspective, one of the reasons china and other dishes that need to be carefully washed and stored are not popular now days is because folks are so busy, many working two jobs and trying to care for children and/or elderly parents and also many folks single and not living near friends or family, also moving around a lot to follow work or on the road commuting long distances, so just not having the extra time or energy. I know folks worked a lot in the past, but the constant moving I think has always been an impediment to having lots of nice, fragile things, as well as having the time to entertain. Back when mom entertained a lot, she was not working, she stayed home and enjoyed doing those kinds of things. But still, yes it was fun while it lasted, lots of fun and I so wish that kind of experience was more available to me. It used to be when I just worked full time one job and lived and worked in one place, I used to have dinner parties quite often, as some old timers on here will remember.
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oruboris
16 years ago
So is finding a beloved family member with a self inflicted bullet hole in his head.

Ask me how I know.
User
16 years ago
I understand how difficult it can be to be exposed to humor that seems to mock your pain, but please understand that irreverence does not indicate that we don't cherish each other. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you will find comfort, solace and joy in your cherished memories and in the company of friends and family.
mindstorm
16 years ago
cotehele, That gave me a good laugh.

Oruboris, I'm sorry for your loss too and I'm sorry you have to deal with a loss effected in such a heinous way. The victims of any one suicide are numerous. However, the joke here and the tragedy of suicide are not associated.
cotehele
Original Author
16 years ago
oruboris,
The joke made me laugh at how frustrating it is trying to come up with a kitchen plan to satisfy DH, and not to take my frustrations so seriously. I did not intend to offend or malign any one. Actually I edited the joke that originally referred to an ethnic group so it would not be offensive to anyone.

I am on the board of a non-profit mental health facility. You, and your family have my sympathy for your tragedy. I understand depression and suicide more than you know.
oruboris
16 years ago
I'm sorry if I overreacted, as well. But tell someone they are stupid and worthless long enough, and it begins to take a toll. Same things with groups. And telling one another that all men are contemptible jerks isn't likely to make women happier in the long term, either.

There's too much of this in society, and too much on this list.

When the joke was aimed at an ethnic group, it was objectionable. But change the target, and its laughter all 'round. That's just wrong. If you can't tell it about everyone, you shouldn't tell it about anyone.
cotehele
Original Author
16 years ago
Only the ethnicity of the old woman was deleted.
glennsfc
16 years ago
Objections to ethnic humor and "PC correctness" started a long time ago. I first saw it in action at The Harvest Moon Ball ballroom dance competition in Madison Square Garden in 1970.

The producers had the bad judgement to schedule an ethnic comic as entertainment between two of the dance contests. The comic's act included polish jokes. One of the dance competitions was the polka with thousands of people of Polish heritage in the audience. It was the first time I saw a performer actually booed off a stage. Since he hadn't prepared any other material, he said "goodnight" and left.

Before that day I had never realized how words could be offensive to some people in quite that way. After all, I'm a "square head" and never objected to jokes about Norwegians or other scandanavian folks. But, words can hurt...no doubt about it.

I wonder what the producers must have been thinking to schedule that comic in that venue?

However, "political correctness" can be offensive to some people who find any form of censorship at odds with their notions of freedom of speech.
User
16 years ago
I haven't percieved a tone of man-bashing as a regular theme on this forum. Actually, I've read many posts where there seem to be a lot of collaboration between couples, lots of DIY projects where wives/girlfriends credit their man's good nature, flexibility, hard work and support.

For sure there's occasionally some light-hearted joking that some could take offense to, but I don't think it's a pervasive aspect of this forum.

In the past year, I have received so much help and support from people on this forum who come across as sensitive, caring and gracious and who have never expressed any man-bashing that I hate to see it mis-characterized.
fnzzy
16 years ago
seriously -is there a wife that hasn't at some point wanted to trade her husband in? Is there a husband who hasn't wanted to do the same?

That joke didn't bash anyone nor did it tell anyone they were stupid or demean anyone. It simply made light of what most married people feel at some point in time.

geez. sometimes things are simply A JOKE.
Babka NorCal 9b
16 years ago
"geez. sometimes things are simply A JOKE.".

YES!

the bottle of wine slightly ot

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