Concerned for My Brother (Really Long)

16 years ago

I've been worried about my brother Paul since October. When I had him over for Thanksgiving dinner here in October I noticed he was drinking a lot of fluids, and I mean a lot. He must have drank 24 cans of regular pop then he went out and got juice. He has noticed he was urinating quite frequently. I told him I was worried he had diabetes and he should stop drinking the pop. He said he was tested just a couple of months previously but his blood sugar levels were within normal range.

I told him how concerned I was about him having diabetes. He did switch to diet pop and started to drink water but he was still going to the bathroom frequently. I kept asking him when he was going to see a Doctor. Paul did go on a diet and he lost quite a bit of weight before Christmas which was a good thing.

Paul has been waiting for knee surgery since last February and has been off work. He was scheduled for his surgery December 17 but it was cancelled and I was glad he wasn't laid up over Christmas, the surgery was rescheduled for January 15th.

just before Christmas he went for some pre-operative tests at the hospital and he was called by his surgeon's office that the anesthesiolgist wanted to speak with him. He had that appointment today.

Late last night he was at my house and ate some homemade lasagna and a candy cane. I told him he shouldn't be eating sugar anymore if he thought he had diabetes and he said "I don't have it yet" meaning he hasn't been diagnosed but I know all the signs. LOL

So he just stopped by after the appointment with the anesthesiologist and asked me what a normal blood sugar level is and I said anywhere between 4 and 7. He laughed and I asked him what his was - he said 20.

I just about freaked out. My Mom's was 26 and she went into a diabetic coma but she had undiagnosed pancreatic cancer at that time. I told him he shouldn't be driving to Richmond Hill (4 hours) tomorrow and he said the Doctor almost didn't let him drive home.

I think he should have been admitted to the hospital until he is regulated! I don't think he will be having his surgery next week. He already had an appointment to see an endocrinologist in 2 days so maybe he will put Paul in the hospital or at least get him started on a course of treatment. Paul was never given a fasting blood sugar test yet.

Paul thinks having the lasagna late last night and eating about 6 oranges put his blood sugar levels to 20. He said he also had a croisant sandwich this morning before he went to the Doctor. The anethesiologist did a finger prick test which showed his sugar to be 20.

I tried to give him some information I had on diabetes and my Diabetes for Dummies book but he wouldn't take it. I just want him to be more knowledgeable until he see the endocrinologist and then for sure he will be meeting with a diabetic educator who will set him up with a blood testing kid. I gave my Mom's kit away and now wished I kept it so he could test his blood during the day to see if his levels come down with eating the proper foods.

I called Paul up but he wasn't home so I left him a message and told him to not eat any carbs or starches or fruit and to just eat salad, free veggies and some protein until he sees the other doctor.

Paul said he feels good except for the thirst and going to the bathroom all the time. My Dad had age onset diabetes and was just on the pills. Paul is worried he might have to use insulin injections and I told him he most likely will be put on pills and to exercise and diet first. I am hoping it is not more than diabetes. My Mom had pancreatic cancer as did her brother and her cousin.

I just hope he can get this under control. I said if he follows the diabetic diet he will have to eat his 3 meals a day plus snacks and he will be eating better than he is now. No more big bowls of his Greek pasta salads for him.

Poor Paul, he called this. LOL He said just days after his ex-wife died something bad was going to happen to him. He and the girls suffered for years and life was finally going to be normal again with no financial worries. He figured it was too good to be true. He was right.

I just hope he will listen and do what he needs to do to keep this under control. I'm a bit worried though, because he is soooo stubborn.

He's my little brother - well not exactly little LOL and we are very close. He is the only one of my siblings I can count on for sure whenever I need help.

Sorry for the length of this post. I just needed to talk. I am really worried. He seemed a little scared today.

Thanks for listening.

Anne

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Comments (25)

gadgets
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Anne: I'm sorry to hear about your brother. Hopefully the news won't be as bad as it sounds now after he's seen the endo dr and had a proper fasting blood sugar test(s) run. I'll be praying for the both of you. This has to have hit you hard when you have already gone through the tough times with your Mom.

Shirley
OklaMoni
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Oh, Anne, I am sorry about that worry. I hope, they give Paul a fasting blood test soon. He needs to know where he really stands, but meanwhile should do as big sis advices. Tell him, I said so! :)

Moni
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Taking care of an elderly parent is extremely stressful. Add a parent who is losing her mind abilities. Now add in too a parent that abandoned her now caretaker while caretaker needed the parent most in life (caretakers younger years). Your mother is going to need a huge dose of understanding given her situation. She's frustrated, exhausted (both physically and mentally I'd bank), dealing with a woman who turned a back now very much in need of the very people the back was turned on. It has to be taking an enormous strain. I admire your mother for doing what she feels needs to be done, but I think she needs help and a break. Is your mother willing to do either? Home assistance caring for elderly is sometimes available through county/state health departments. Sometimes (depending on needs) it is just a trained person who comes in several times a week, other times it can be more involved. Usually things like just 'babysitting' the client and doing some hands on bathing/dressing ect. All times that give your mother a chance to 'let someone else do it' and also give mother some much needed 'me' time. Perhaps Mom is feeling life is going by without her...yet when you do all get together she's crossed between being too darn tired and/or angry she feels obligated to carry on her usual life with everything else she's trying to deal/cope with. Mom really does need some 'me' time, some date nights (just Dad and her)and maybe just a shoulder to dump on now and then. Caretaking can actually take down the caretaker. Perhaps an adult daycare center a few days/afternoons a week would give Mom another option if home assistance is not available. If Gma is not so much in need of 'babysat' maybe it is just a sense of your mother feels like she is losing control of her life. Things she did do and always enjoyed may just feel like a whole lot of extra work and stress. You do need to consult her before making plans as does Dad. I doubt it is something like she does not want to see you and/or spend time, it may just be a lot more additional pressure. Perhaps you and your husband or you and the kids could offer to take Gma dinner a night a week. Mom and Dad could go for dinner alone and a quiet drive or a movie. Just something simple they need to do as a couple. Yeah, it's different than usual, but it may help release stress/pressure for Mom. It also sounds like Dad and Mom need the 'couple' time. You don't have to pull back from your stepfather (who you consider your father). He's 'Dad'. Always has been. Always will be. Even if something happened between Mom and Dad, it's unrealistic to think you'd just break ties with Dad. You love them both. Your children love them both. Perhaps right now you and Dad just need to work at letting Mom tkae a bit of control over her daily life. There is nothing 'wrong' in being a very close family. I'm in a very close knit family myself. I also knew though when my Mom needed to have time along, assistance with her hard routines (she caregave for her SO the last few years of his life). I just knew when she needed to have lunch and escape or when she needed to have me 'babysit' so she could rest and recharge. IDK, maybe I'm way off, but it might be worth a a shot. Your mom loves you, you know that, but she is going through one of the hardest things in her life (caring for her mother who was never much of a mother). Your Mom's feelings have got to be being torn in half a dozen different directions right now. One of them may be simply fear that she herself will lose her mind and be old and in need of care one day.
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justlinda
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Diabetes is the "silent" disease. Meaning often the warning signs are overlooked, and also often there is nothing that "hurts" or is "sore".

Good thing is that you have noticed changes and he's a lucky guy to have a sister that cares.
naughtykitty
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
He's lucky to have a sister that cares so much about his welfare. He probably is denying it because he doesn't want it to be true. Best wishes for a good diagnosis and getting it under control.
Linda Wayman
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Anne, Paul is fortunate to have such a caring sister. I hope he will listen to your advice. Hopefully the news won't be as bad as it seems and he gets a fasting blood test soon.

Linda
okwriter
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
How sad for him and the girls - and for you to have to watch. Some diabetes can be controlled with diet and exercise, but it sounds like his symptoms are way out of control. I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.
sue_va
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Oh, Anne, that is so sad! Surely now he will change his eating habits and the Docs will work out a diet plan for him. You will be a big help with your quiet sisterly influence, I'm sure.

BTW, did you get an email from me? I sent it last Thursday through my real addy, not GW. Let me know if you didn't get it.

Prayers for Paul, and you.

Sue
jenni_ca
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Oh Anne, I am so sorry to hear this. I know how close you and Paul are.
He has had such a tough time with her death and dealing with that. He sure didn't need this!!
You are a good, caring sister and I know you will do everything you can to help him help himself.
Big hugs to you both!
Kathsgrdn
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I hope he doesn't have the disease. My brother was diagnosed last year. I tried to tell him the importance of taking care of himself and eating and exercising but there's no way he's going to do it unless he wants to do it. I've only told him right after he was diagnosed, I don't keep harping on it because then he'll just tune me out.
lulie___wayne
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Anne, I hope that Paul will be okay. Men are sometimes odd when it comes to health issues. It's like they are in denial or think that THEY can't get sick.
Keep us posted.
Lu
caroline94535
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
((((Anne and Paul))))
grammahony
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I agree with what lulie says about men, and their health, and problems with it. I think they think if they ignore it it isn't really there. I hope he gets the care he needs. Your a good sister.
Leslie
Happy_Go_Lucky_Gayle
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I'm sending positive thoughts and prayers to you and your Brother.

Gayle
bunny_lover
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Adding my prayers for Paul to get the correct treatment!
trinitytx
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I hope everything works out for your brother. Men are so lazy about medical issues in general. He doesn't want to worry you either.
Keep on his butt, and make him accountable for his health.
Sometimes they just need a shove in the right direction.
I love reading your stories, and hate to hear you are fretful over family.
Keep us up on how he is doing.

Trin
LorifromUtah
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Oh jeez!
I'm sorry to hear this Anne.
He knows you are right but doesn't want you to be.....

My brother was like this.
I told him for nearly two years he was diabetic and at times he would get very angry with me with his denials. He was having problems with his teeth and didn't go to the doctor for diabetes tests until the oral surgeon refused to work on him.

When he made the announcement 'I have diabetes' at a family party he got mad because me and three sisters looked at him and said, 'I knew that'....

He'll learn what he can and can't do.
Unfortunately he'll have to learn it on his own and when he's diagnosed you will have to decide to pretend to be surprised and help him OR say 'I told you so' and help him.

Good luck.
My thoughts are prayers are with you...

Lori
lynne_melb
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Anne, sending good thoughts and prayers for him.
ronf_gw
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Anne, I'm so sorry to hear of this.
You and Paul are in my prayers today.

Ron
Cherryfizz
Original Author
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Thank you everyone.

I am a bit relieved Paul isn't going to drive the 4 hours tomorrow. I was worried about that because if he started to have problems he wouldn't just hurt himself but he could hurt others on the road. That is a load off my mind.

He called my sister and said he wasn't going away and then went to the grocery store for things he can eat.

I knew this diagnosis was coming but it still has me worried.

Thank you for all the good thoughts.

Anne
joyfulguy
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Anne,

If he really needs to go to Richmond Hill, and can drive up here, I'll drive him the rest of the way. (519)

If he comes to the Plaza at 401 and Col. Talbot Rd. (first London exit) and calls me, I'm a few miles west and could be there in 10 min.

Or I can give directions to my place if he would like to come here. 652-

I'm in the phone book, listing is under Lambeth in the London book. 2637

Ed
kathy_
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Ed that's nice of you!
Good luck Anne. I have a brother too who does not take care of himself.
Kathy
dirt_yfingernails
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
My brother too has diabetes. My sister and I quizzed him for years and urged him to go to the doctor. Finally he just told us he'd gotten tested and didn't have it, but he hadn't gone. It did a lot of damage, nearly took his eyesight, and probably was responsible for a number of strokes over the last few years. It turned him from a vigorous now 60 year-old to a shell of a man seemingly in his 90's or older. Sadly, his mind is as sharp as ever as is his impeccable memory but he has trouble talking and communicating.

Hope Paul gets the medical attention he needs and cooperates with his doctors.

Ed, you are a sweet guy for offering to help.
heather_on
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Anne my twin sister and her husband were both diagnosed with diabetes in the past few months. Her DH had a stroke and that is when they discovered that he was diabetic. She tested herself with his supplies and then knew that she also had it. Neither of them had been to a doctor in years and both had been relatively healthy along the way. Surprise! Annual physicals are a pain but they do catch conditions like diabetes before too much harm is done.
My sister's husband is left with short term memory loss and some cognitive dysfunction. His recovery is very slow.

I've been procrastinating my physical because I know the lecture I will get for being out of shape and "fluffy". Thank you for the kick in the butt to go make that call.

Hugs to you and your brother.
bestlawn
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Stay on him, Anne, in any way you can. I try to scare my daughter with what happened to people I know with diabetes after not taking care of themselves. Not sure it does any good though. She's not diabetic but could become if she doesn't watch her diet and gets too over weight. I hope Paul will listen to you.
Kathsgrdn
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I forgot to ask you if you have ever been tested, Anne? You mom was diabetic and now your brother, it can be heriditary. Both my mom and brother now have it. I've told my other brother he should get tested. I get tested frequently and have for years.

Concerned for My Brother (Really Long)

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