Does your district have an adult education program to complete high school? The teachers in those programs here are good at working with the "square peg" type student or those who have experienced misfortune and helping them earn that diploma. Some work might be in a classroom where she would experience teacher and peer motivation, and some might be independent study. You would have to find out from Adult Ed how they help a student finish high school in your state and district. And they would definitely be prepared in a math class to help your daughter face her math fears.

I have attended our local Adult Education graduations, and those students come from every walk of life, some quite young and others approaching middle age. They are heart warming ceremonies as the audience learns from the few student speakers about their struggles.

No advice here, but so glad she is going to try. Best of luck.

Sue

My oldest daughter never grasped math at high school nor before either. She took a "remedial" math class at the college in the next town, and got lucky, with an instructor that managed to get the point of all of it across. :)

Point is, she should try someplace else, with a different teacher.

Moni

Sounds like she could really use a volunteer mentor. You might try asking a librarian if s/he knows of such a person or organization (adult ed school district?) who can match her up with someone. Kudos to her for doing this!

I'm trying to think if it was me in that situation, I would do better in a structured adult education "class" that is at a certain time each week, where I can get help from teachers. I think that might be better structure then a study at your leisure/independent study? But it depends on how your DD learns?

At 17, she probably can't understand how important getting her GED will be for her future or how this accomplishment will boost her confidence. Anything mom says usually just sounds like nagging (lol)

As for what you can do, maybe make sure she has a quiet place to study at home? Ask her how you can help her? Not sure if offering a "reward" if she completes her GED would help? Make sure she knows you support her and are proud of her!

I wish her the best of luck!!
Teresa

My #2 DD went through the same thing, quit school....bla bla bla, and the fact that I do not do well in new math did not help her at all. She did go and get her GED and I could not have been happier. They know when the right time is, and sometimes you have to just let go and let them determine when that is. It takes longer for some. She will know when the time is right for her to conquer it.

Let it ride, don't ride her about it, just give tons of kuddos when she makes the attempt to forge ahead.

There is nothing else you can do, as hard as it is I know..
Been there done that, but it all work out well in the end.

Trin

Good for her. She's trying, bless her heart. Just give hugs and support and hope and pray she does well.

If she's on meds for the bipolar, make sure she takes them religiously.

While I am in agreement with an adult high school diploma program probably being her best chance, she does not agree. Apparently, due to her having so few hs credits, it would take her much longer to obtain a diploma than getting the GED.

As ajerin mentioned, a mentor would probably be a great idea. Wish I could find someone "cool" that DD could connect with. But, in the GED class there are instructors and will give as much one on one as is asked for. Wouldn't it be great if she were to find someone there that she could hit it off with? Her last year in HS, we got her a tutor, a girl DD liked very much, and one on one, DD did well. It was when left to her own that she still seemed lost.

teresava - I hope it'll be that simple... just asking how can I help? LOL But, I won't be offering any reward. Been down that path too many times and don't feel like that is the kind of incentive she needs. DD lives so in the moment.

Trin - how old was your DD when she got her GED? How many hours a week did she put into class time? Did she do much work at home? Can you tell me more about her experience?

patti - thanks. And she does not take meds... tried several different meds and she felt she could function better without them. Oddly enough, she has done so much better just getting diagnosed.

(((((Moonie)))))) I don't have a clue, just wanted to add some support. I do agree that someone other than Mom to help would be good.

I agree with Trinity.

You said: "she has decided to go for her GED" That's just fabulous! Why would you need to motivate her when she has said herself she wants to study for the GED?

You might say, "Let me know how I can help you." Then stand back, Mom, and let her learn and grow. If you interfere too much, she will resent your trying to manage her efforts.

You cannot provide the motivation - motivation only comes from within. Above advice about mentors or others who can provide guidance and support are good. Hopefully she can find someone she can relate to who can help her.

IF I recall I remember your post when this was all first happening. Was that you and was there a boy friend involved? I'm sorry if I'm wrong and it was someone elses post I'm thinking of.
You did everything you could, things already mentioned here. I imagine you are still wanting to do what you can but feel limited by her reactions towards you. Now that you know how she reacts towards help, I'm guessing your reluctant to try to put your foot in her space.

Some kids welcome the help and attention and others, they just don't know how to accept that a parent cares enough to be provide help. Your not alone.

From what you've said she is immature and may not take the necessary steps towards her GED if left to her own. That would frustrate me too I'm sure. If you could somehow take her into the adult continuing ed counselor, this person could work out a plan with her to do GED studies at home. Possibly giving her weekly goals as well as a completion goal. Do you know if they can recommend another Math tutor? Could YOU put up a sign that your looking for a tutor at the local college? Do you think she would agree to that?
Another idea is an online study , but from what I've found, that takes even more self motivation than just going to a class.
You sound like a very caring mom, but in reality I don't know if she feels overpowered by you or she's just stubborn and immature. So from my perspective, I'm hoping that a third party can help her toward her GED and one day soon she'll spread her wings toward an independent life. (that's putting it all in a nutshell!!)
I'm sure there are many answers but your the one who has to keep the peace and learn to deal with her at a level only a loving mom can do, even when she doesn't seem to want any love at all. Don't give up, just step back, just like your doing. Good positive thoughs for both of you.

hi toni - yes, I did post about our problems with DD back when it was all going on. It was not a boyfriend, but an adult female friend that was leading her in all the wrong directions. I ended up having to file charges of contributing on the woman, had DD put on probation and we even had social services involved. It was a horrible ordeal, but part of her probation was that she attend counseling, and her therapist talked her into seeing a pyschiatrist, which led to her bipolar diagnosis. Thank goodness that is all in the past for the most part!

But, I don't think any attempt of me trying to give/get her any help will be welcomed. Perhaps I'll try to completely step back and if she begins to "fall", then I'll gently prod her back on track. Would just hate to see her fail, then give up completely.

Gosh, got to go and didn't finish what I wanted to say! LOL

What I was wanting to say before I had to leave so abruptly, is that I do not feel like DD will/can discipline herself enough to get very far on her own. I hate to voice that opinion, and I would never let her know I feel this way, but it's like I can almost see how it is going to go.... first she'll start classes going less hours than she really should, then she will quickly go for less and less hours per day, perhaps even missing alot of days going in at all. It's not my intention to sound so negative but this is how I see it going.

What I feel like I should do is just step back as trin and socks suggested and see how it goes for now. OR, I can call the counselor and see what kind of plan she could implement for DD. It would be great for her to have weekly goals. I like that idea and will ponder it over. Thank you, toni!