I'm in the same boat with my dad. He enjoys (and will use) restaurant gift cards, car wash gift cards (I actually buy those for him and two others every Christmas!), visa gift cards because while he does not need a thing, he sometimes likes to shop. Something that is a big hit with my MIL's "man friend" is good (gourmet) coffee.

Gas gift cards? Sounds like he's on the go a lot! What a special guy! I also like Tibb's idea of a house-keeper (unless he already has that arranged).

Is it too late to put together some framed collages or photos of some special family time together with him that he would appreciate? Your DH is a great photographer, IIRC. Or a scrapbook or photo book you can make online? Maybe he's not the type for such stuff.

Oh right, I do already have a photo book for him from the family reunion, as well as a framed 8x10 of the whole family. Almost forgot I have those!

Gas and car wash gift cards, brilliant!

Yes, I meant travel with you. The MIL I was referring to doesn't even have a passport. Of course, when we took her to get oneone she fainted and now we aren't sure if Krakow is a great idea or not, but we shall see. It may be like the lottery, where just the idea of going is enjoyable to her.

It people are not used to it, they can be very funny about having a cleaning person in the home. They feel it invades their privacy, they feel they need to clean in advance, they are not sure if they can trust a stranger, or --- the worst --- the cleaning person puts something away and they cannot find it (a daily occurrence and cause of much swearing in our house even though we have had the same people for 4 years now). Ask me how I know this ...

Older people are very funny about their appointments, aren't they? They could have an invitation from the White House and not cancel a blasted appointment.

My Dad was similar. We'd ask him what he wanted and he'd always say socks and underwear. So he always got them. At their age, consumables are best as they usually have more than enough of other stuff. I too was going to suggest the car wash/ gas card option.

I know it's not something we tend to think of, but would he be willing to try a massage? One thing that's lacking for many of the elderly is a lack of physical touch which is so important for well-being. Esp for an active person, maybe having someone rub those sore muscles would be a wonderful experience.

Does he watch TV? Maybe for the 80th a new large screen TV would be welcome. My uncle was 95 when he got a new one and was so delighted...a real baseball fan, he loved being able to really see the game.

Another area that the elderly tend to neglect is their bed/bedding...new sheet sets or flannel sheets or towels even.

Last year for Christmas I received a gift certificate for an interior/exterior car detail. I LOVED it. Hoping I get another one this year! Seems like it would be perfect for an older guy on the go - or anyone, really.

A Keurig?

Love the car detail card. Most people will get the car washed anyway, but detailing is a treat! Get a restaurant or Starbucks card to go with it, in case he has to wait awhile.

Funny you mentioned massage, Annie, that is the other thing we try to foist on everyone. That too is very personal. Some people I can tell are too intimidated or shy. I know sometimes males worry that it may feel sexual (or that it may not, LOL!).

OTOH, sometimes they will surprise you. I have had regular massage therapists that come to our home for many years, and we often treat guests At our old house, I used to like to get massage outside near the pool where there was a small waterfall. I told my FIL's second wife this, and suggested she try it when she visited;it was her first massage. I also said that, she should do whatever was comfortable for her, but massage is best nude. Whattya' know? Yup, she now prefers her massage plein air in the altogether. (draped of course)

What do you think, Sue? Would he be up for it? I never understood how anyone with nerve endings could dislike massage. And it sure is good for you!

Edited

This post was edited by deeinohio on Tue, Nov 25, 14 at 12:11

You know, I don't think the housecleaner is necessarily a great idea. When we are younger and busy busy busy, we would love that -- but I noticed in both of my parents as they hit their 80s that doing their daily and weekly chores was a large source of satisfaction and structure to their lives. Plus that independence thing.

I know for my parents, they liked to have a selection of gourmet or unusual items from markets and groceries -- things that they would enjoy but will NOT spend the money on.

Or handy items from the hardware store -- bright worklights, a sheepskin car seat cover, fat easier to hold pens.

Or a series of books by a favorite author? Or a new author he might like? How about the "Master and Commander" series?

An mp3 loaded with music chosen just for him to walk to?

I was going to say plants too (something I keep hinting about but never get -- I too got the Kindle that I never touch) but he isn't a gardener.

So many good ideas, and I hope someone else will benefit from them as well.

Some of the ideas we have already covered in the past -- we got him a Keurig coffee maker several years ago, but that reminds me that a couple boxes of the coffee pod things would be good for the basket (which is now overflowing in my mind). We also bought him a flat screen TV a few years ago. He can't use a bigger one because the space he has for a TV is limited as there are built-in bookcases on either side.

Sheepskin carseat cover, I like that. I also found a winter emergency kit for the car, from AAA, on Amazon, that I might get. So he'll have a "winter car kit" with maybe a car seat cover, AAA emergency kit, and gas gift cards. Then he'll have a basket including Amex gift cards, grocery gift cards, wine, his favorite nuts, keurig cups, some scratch tickets, stamps, PLUS the family photo album and framed photo. Things are looking pretty good for dear old dad.

I think he would laugh if we gave him a massage gift card, and then he'd put it in the drawer with the Kindle. No offense, I love the idea (and I love massages myself) but he wouldn't do it.

And another shout out to mtn, who recommended the sporting event tickets. I have been chatting with DH this morning and we have decided that really good seats to a Red Sox game next spring will be part of the 80th birthday, along with a nice dinner in Boston with all of us. DH has some connections thru work so he's going to work on getting some special seats for a weekend game. And if my dad has a dentist appt., I will cancel it if he won't! ;)

So happy to see this thread. My father is the same age, also turning 80 in the new year. He sounds very similar to your fatherâ¦still working, by choice, volunteering, very active, etc. However, my mother is still alive so he doesn't live alone. I'm always trying to come up with ideas for both of them. I've only skimmed this thread and will have to go back and read all the suggestions.

My father loves to read and usually will give me ideas for books he is interested in. I also make a photo calendar for him every year. He loves to cook, so I'm always finding cooking related gadgets, ingredients, etc for him. For a while, we had enrolled him in a Wine of the Month club, as he enjoys wine.

Looks like you have him covered now, and I'm going to go back and re-read this thread carefully to see if I can find some ideas for my own father!

My parents are tough too. We used to do vacations or weekends away for gifts but they just don't enjoy travel like they used to. They have their routines and appointments like your dad and mom doesn't do so well away from home anymore. (I don't think she realized how much she complained about the anniversary trip we sent them on. It was very upsetting)

At 74, my dad is set in his ways about a lot of things. There are places he'll go out to eat and places he won't. He loves to cook/bbq-- I have bought him a number of kitchen gifts I thought were great but that have had little use (in fact, I suggested that they regift the staub pots they have *never* used back to me this year!) He has his favorite pots, knives and equipment and really doesn't want to change it up. This year I am considering a meat bundle from his favorite butcher. Maybe a meat and seafood combo. He LOVES to open presents so I'll probably make a basket with interesting hot sauces/spice blends and some leather grilling gloves.

Does your dad BBQ/grill? We are getting a small big green egg from a family member and and both BF and I are very excited. The small size is well under 1000 and is great for 1-4 people. There's also a mini that is even more compact.

Another treat he's enjoyed is a jewish deli gift package-- I've used Zabar's and Zingermann's. He grew up in Brooklyn and it's so hard to find good jewish rye or corned beef in this area. I don't do this for holidays but I'll send a package in thanks for work around the house or such.

Perhaps the best gift I've ever given is a cookbook I had made of family recipes (tastebook.com). I included family photos, stories and of course the family recipes-- including those that I documented as I sat and watched him preparing his mother's recipes that were never written down. It brought tears to everyone's eyes and for years after, he brings it out to show guests. I don't know that he's ever used it once-- but it meant a lot to him.

The only other idea I have are all related to cold weather. Dad has been on coumadin since his strokes more than 15 yr ago and gets much colder as a result. I have given him under armour, warm socks, down comforter & throw and a warm robe. Basics, really-- but sure welcome on a cold night. OH.. and courvoisier. He loves a brandy every night before bed.

My parents always got a snow removal service for my grandparents when they were alive.

So, he uses an iPod and a dock. Maybe audio books (Audible), maybe a Shark boombox (portable bluetooth speaker -- I have one and love it.)

Ooh this is so helpful!
I'm thinking about a gift certificate for a handyman for a day.

I've been reading this thread with interest because my parents are in the same age bracket and buying them gifts that they like is always a struggle.

The one gift my father has really enjoyed is a large flat screen televsion. His eyesight isn't as good as it used to be and he won't wear glasses, so the larger screen makes it easier for him to read the stock ticker. It's not a huge television, but its sharper resolution combined with size makes for easier viewing.

I did buy my father an iPad Air to replace his laptop that couldn't be upgraded, but he really doesn't like using it. I think the touch screen is troublesome because he has a bit of tremor, although he uses his iPhone just fine.

I always give him scratch off tickets in the amount of his birthday, so 80 tickets for 80 years. I think he gets a kick out of seeing what he's won.

A gift cert. for a car detailing is a GREAT idea! I'd love to get that myself!

And of courseâ¦a PUPPY!!!

One year we got my father in law MEAT, I kid you not. We went to a butcher at a nice grocery store and picked out individually wrapped steaks, chicken breasts, brats, hamburgers, ect. all stuff we knew he liked. Then we bought one of those cheap white styrofoam coolers, filled it with ice and the meat and put a big red bow on it. Men can be SO hard to buy for.

Heated throw.
Local or specialty beer.

This post was edited by LucyStar1 on Tue, Nov 25, 14 at 18:09

If you get him a puppy, put a big red bow on the styrofoam cooler, but punch holes in the cooler!

Joanie, that's a great gift. One year, for Christmas, I bought my father a bunch of frozen homemade pies. Food is a great gift for people who "have everything". So is a puppy!

Another thing that can be fun is personalized logo-wear. You can create a family crest or family logo for him or his club or his house or boat or car, and have it put on a t shirt or hat or boxers. It can be serious or a gag.

The software is pretty easy to use to create your own design, and you no longer need high minimums to get them made. DH was recently named to a charitable board and he think he's all that. I had a pair of boxers made up with the logo and his title.

My DB has a boat and I made up a shirts with the boats name.

You could look up on line if there is a "Personal Chef" in the area and hire him/ her for a few special meals.

Tibbrix, sorry, but a puppy is never the answer for a gift. It's like saying, a baby! The responsibility, the cost and the lifetime commitment to an animal should never be a casual "gift".

The shelters are full of beautiful dogs who will be killed because of such actions, if they are so lucky to make it there- too many are dumped on dirt roads to stave to death.

I think the gift basket is great. But as part of the basket, include the gift certificate for the Red Sox game. That way, he gets something tangible and something to look forward to. ( I know this ended with a preposition :-~

My dad really loves it when I find him 'unique' experiences. One year the I hooked him up with a planterium tour in his area, he is now a docent there. Space has always been his avocation.

I do like the sound of a personal chef, but I might turn it into a hands on cooking experience. There is a guy in my community who will teach you to cook, I am thinking of this for my DH!!!

I also always like movie theatre tickets. Movies are getting so expensive these days that older folks, who paid a quarter when they were kids, find it especially hard to fork over $10.

Bumble, the baseball game will be for his birthday, not christmas. I know I threw all this together so totally understandable that I'm confusing everyone now.

I assume Tib is kidding about a puppy.

Frozen pies or meats wouldn't be a bad idea if his freezer wasn't already full of leftover "Meals on Wheels" meals...

I hope she is kidding, this is raw to me, as dh and I picked up a starving dog that hung out at our truck this weekend while out hiking in a very rural area. We kept her over the weekend and yesterday I took her to the shelter ( they checked for a microchip but no) She is considered an aggressive breed and very likely was abandoned.
I am still inwardly crying over her as we bonded during the trip back into town. Long thinking about whether or not to keep her but ultimately her breed and a few other incidentals in life made the decision.

If he likes his iPhone, how about some earphones?
or

Did you give him the Kindle FIRE HDX? That one has a great camera, front and back. And a subscription to Amazon Prime where he can watch movies, get free music and videos as well.
It can also be thrown up on the TV screen to share with his NEXT GF.....

Way to go DAD!

For my DMIL's 90th birthday, we got her an iPad. I was skeptical, but my daughter pestered aunts, uncles, and cousins for old photos, which she set up in a slideshow. She also installed Netflix, and word search puzzles and the Bible. When my MIL, who had never even used a cell phone, opened it, she didn't know what it was. My daughter started the slideshow of old family photos, and MIL wept with tears of joy! She uses it all the time now. She even watches her "stories" on it.
Another useful gift we got her is a set of bluetooth headphones that help her to hear the tv, but I don't know if that would be useful for your father.

We get my in-laws theater tickets. Have done this for 4 years and am doing it again this year. I call the theaters, pick a play and date, pre-pay and arrange for ticket pickup at the box office.

I make a gift certificate "entitling bearer to 2 tickets" to named play, date, time, theater name and location. They enjoy these. Until last year all dates I chose worked out. Last year, they had to change one pair of tickets because of a conflict and the exchange was easy.

There are a couple of places where you can have a gift meat package sent each month, but I know my father would've never enjoyed it...all I would've heard about was how he could've gotten it cheaper!

My Dad would've been much happier if we paid his property taxes...

Jshore, that is a great way to give your MIL technology! Something fun and simple already loaded to get her using it, then she's up and running. Smart thinking!

Bumblebeez, first I have to tell you, I am a dog sitter by profession. I am not at all insensitive to the issues surrounding animal adoption. I am realistic, though.

Second, I was SORT OF kidding, but not entirely. (I definitely as kidding about wrapping a puppy in a styrofoam container with holes in it, though, just a joke to follow the prior comment about wrapping meat). Do I think actually getting a puppy for a gift for someone is a good idea? No. Just like I don't think it's a good idea to go out and actually HIRE a cleaning person for someone as a gift.

However, I think suggesting it as a gift someone would like to get a single elderly man is actually a great idea. Dogs and cats make great companions, esp. for single and older people. But just as with a cleaning person, the giftee must make the choice (of whether to even get one, and then choose who/what).

Your argument about pets making bad gifts is very myopic. Again, never, ever just give someone a dog or cat as a gift. But plenty of people are given pets as gifts, i.e.: footing the cost of the adoption, and those pets are given wonderful homes. To suggest that every dog ever given as a gift ends up on the street, or that every stray you see on a street was given to someone as a gift is not sound. Plenty of animals end up on the street who were acquired by their owners going out and getting them and then changing their minds; just as many pets who are gifts are NOT abandoned and in fact end up in loving, wonderful homes. Presumably sueb knows her father and his lifestyle and whether it would be an idea that might appeal to him, or not. But to make a blanket statement that pets as gifts is never, ever a good idea is not correct. I'm all for finding pets who need them good homes, and if that involves giving them as gifts, great! Meaning, if this is something you'd like, this would be our gift for you and we want you to find a pet you'd like.

But no: never, ever actually GET the animal first.

I get my dad a 10 game gift certificate for a really nice golf course in our area, along with some good golf balls. He is a golfer and golfs about 3-4 times a week.

There are also some long-sleeve L.L. Bean shirts with a pocket he never knew he liked until I got him for his birthday one year. He tells me all the time he loves those shirts! Inexpensive but he loves them! He is very picky about what he wears.

He just got married to a really nice lady, so now I have to think of her too!

I just want to pop back in and say that my choices are now made, but hopefully the ongoing suggestions will benefit someone else who has an older person to buy for.

I am also realizing how many hobbies my dad does NOT have, which is partly why he is so hard to shop for. He has drawers and closets packed with clothing, half of which he probably never wears. He doesn't play golf, garden, cook, go to the movies, go to theater, travel, go out to dinner really... he is out several nights a week but it's to volunteer at Bingo, or the Elks Lodge dinner, etc. -- and he gets dinner via Meals on Wheels leftovers or the Elks or wherever he happens to be. He seems totally happy with his life and, as I said, stubborn, so any attempt to broaden his horizons with theater tickets or cooking lessons isn't going to be welcomed. If he was currently dating, restaurant gift certificates would be good. but after an on-and-off relationship for 2-3 years, it is currently "off."

What I really would like to do is buy him a new car, but he'd never accept that. He's driving around a 10+ year old Toyota with 100K miles on it, and swears he loves that car. DH and I have thought about a new car for his 80th birthday, but he'd never let us do it!

This is a helpful thread for a lot of us-- thank you, Sue! And so glad that your dad does all that he does-- he's active and busy and helping others! I am sure he's a special guy!

If he's tooling around in a 10-year-old Toyota with 100K miles on it, he's in a very good car!

You know, today on the phone my dad said that he and my mom do not want any presents or food for Christmas, but they want us to donate to a specific charity in their city that works with the poor.

They fortunately have all the possessions they want, and will get more satisfaction from our donation than just about anything else.

I was so glad he said something, as we struggle each year with what to get them.

Now we know what to get them.

How well does he hear? Maybe a set of TV listening headphones and a movie DVD?

Here is a link that might be useful: TV listening assistive headphones

Thank you Tibbrix, for your perspective!

What a great collection of ideas. I almost wish I had to buy a gift for an old guy.

The charity donation is a great idea for the right person. Some people need the exchange of actual gifts to give and receive the feeling of being loved. My in laws are gift people and there's nothing wrong with that, it's just how they express love. They won't donate in my name, as I've requested, because it's just not something they understand. So we exchange gifts.

OTHO, my Mum makes donations to charities in the grandkids names instead of buying them gifts. She picks things that represent them. She donated to a cancer charity to pay for yoga lessons for patients in honor of my niece the yoga practitioner. She donated to provide musical instruments for schools with underserved kids in honor of my nephew the musician. She donates to Heifer International and some of us 'get' bunnies or chicks or bees. We all prefer it to getting more stuff.

My aunt asked for, and got, Netflix one year. My son just got it, and he split the subscription with some friends, and we are in on it, too. The fun thing is, we know what each other is watching lol! It's a nice connection while he's off at school. Could be a nice share for distant seniors, too.

I've seen warm socks mentioned several times. I think my in-laws would appreciate pairs of really good socks. Anyone have an opinion about the best ones out there?

edevee, just wool or a wool/cotton blend. My llBean wool socks held up much better than did my Smartwool socks. I've always liked Wigwam socks.

My favorite socks now are Fits socks.

Thanks Tib and olliesmom! I'll check these out. I'm thinking about giving the inlaws a "warm wishes" package with the socks, a couple of handmade microwavable heating pads from etsy and a pretty bowl or basket full of hot chocolate pods for their Keurig.

edeevee, that is such a cute idea (for any age!).

How about a house keeping service?

A membership to Eharmony if he just dumped his last girlfriend. Single men his age are at a premium!

Does he like to ride on trains? If there is a station close, maybe just a day trip somewhere? Or how about a day trip for two? He could take a friend.