It's freaking hard! Almost as hard as being married. I've decided it's hard no matter what. But is it worth it? I think so. Some days are good and some are great! I am "enough" and I just don't think it'd be easier if there was someone else. Money was easier, but not a lot easier. We wasted so much of it!

I won't even care come Valentine's Day and no one sends me flowers or candy. One year, lllllooooonnnggg ago, I think I got 25 roses. Two dozen and one single, from three different guys. I have had my fill of those days.

Do you find the older you get, the less romantic those ideas seem to be? I find it to be more trouble than it's worth (always has been), but maybe it's my age, and maybe it's that I haven't found the right guy. Do you think about this sort of thing?

I was a single parent for the first 12 years of my DD's life. Lived with my mom for a bit, then on my own. It was hard and lonely, but I think it made me a stronger person today. I always tell my DD's and DGD (22) It is fun to have a man in your life, but learn to take care of yourself first, and marry someone who was a friend first and you fell in love with. Not someone just to get married. My older DD did not listen (twice;( but DD#2 has and it seems so far DGD is also listening.

Nothing is lonelier than being in an unhappy marriage. I really like living alone most of the time.I have friends to go places with and my 3 cats and a dog to keep me company. I would like to be in a long term relationship with the right person. I have a guy friend at church who is a widower. He has season tickets to the basketball games, just like I do and sometimes he sits with us instead of his regular seat.

rob333 you wrote:

I won't even care come Valentine's Day and no one sends me flowers or candy. One year, lllllooooonnnggg ago, I think I got 25 roses. Two dozen and one single, from three different guys. I have had my fill of those days.

Do you find the older you get, the less romantic those ideas seem to be? I find it to be more trouble than it's worth (always has been), but maybe it's my age, and maybe it's that I haven't found the right guy. Do you think about this sort of thing?

Rob, I don't care about the V day either. Just to make a point, on how pointless that day was in my marriage, I gave my ex the same card 5 years in a row... and he never picked up on it. But after I got some flowers (with mums, which I am VERY allergic to) my daughter said I had to get a new card, and destroyed that 5 year old beauty. LOL

No, I don't think about those thoughts you posted. I am just living for me now. So far, it works for me. :)

linda_in_iowa wrote:

Nothing is lonelier than being in an unhappy marriage.

Yes, Linda, it is. I am so much less lonely now... then I was when I was married. I do have terrific friends, that no longer wonder if the can intrude... LOL, they just come when it is convenient for them, and they are always welcome.

I don't have a guy in my corner, but I have several male friends, whose friendship I value a lot.

Moni

"I don't have a guy in my corner, but I have several male friends, whose friendship I value a lot."

And maybe this is the key. I work with men. I have several brothers, uncles, cousins, nephews... I have friends who are guys, etc. I feel I have enough of that kind of valuable support/interactions.

I lost over 200 pounds of ugly fat when I divorced the last one. Good riddance.
I'm happy as a clam at high tide. I posted in the other thread because I'm retired, but I am divorced x2.
Happy. busy, kids that turned out to be wonderful, and I love to hear about other women who like me chose happiness over a difficult marriage.

I miss the companionship of a partner.

Never really had it, but my druthers would be to have someone to travel with, go for walks, sit in the sun and nod with the warmth.

I do stay active, enjoy living alone, but there are times when it IS lonely. Especially around major holidays, such as Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Been divorced going on 29 years in May, and settled in my ways. Become very independent, so I don't if I met "mr wonderful" if things would work out in a 24 hr day in day out relationship.

I would love a travel companion.

Divorced about 12 years now. Wow. Hard to believe. It's lonely sometimes, but so much better than being in a lonely, miserable marriage. My daughter told me a couple weeks ago that her step-mother felt the need to call the woman who messed around with the ex when we were together, to tell her to back off. Apparently she's after him again and they still work together. So glad I don't have to worry about that crap anymore.

What a miserable way to live. No thanks. I do wish I had someone to go out with and travel with but I don't see it happening.

Posted by lucille

I lost over 200 pounds of ugly fat when I divorced the last one. Good riddance.

Lucille, I only lost 168, but like you, it was a good easy diet. :) LOL

Moni

I was never more lonely or miserable than when I was married. I had none of the "perks" of marriage and none of the perks of being single. I finally came to a point where I knew I could not live the rest of my life as I had lived the 25 I was with him. All the years the kids were growing up I stayed busy with them and their activities, plus I went back and finished college just for me.

I am happy on my own. Let's face it, most women outlast the men so you are own your own in the end anyway.

Like Glenda, I wish I had a companion for travel and going to restaurants. I do have a guy that takes me out from time to time, but to be honest I am often glad to see him go home.

A good marriage is probably the best of all worlds, but half of all marriages end in divorce and I bet half that last aren't so happy.

VERY happily divorced for 41 years. It was like having 3 preschoolers. Him and the two kids. I never even considered getting married again. Now I'm so used to doing exactly as I please when I please I can't imagine having to adjust my life around someone else. Yes, never so lonely as an unhappy marriage. I had no value to him so why stay?