last minute advice

14 years ago

HELP!! In order to save my sanity, I've been letting Bridezilla get her way. However, I just caught a glimpse of her seating chart and UH OH. BIG problems.

I had set up 'my' guests in an order that resolved all problems, but DD has made changes to suit her idea of how things should be. Given how things are in the world, there are some guests that absolutely cannot be seated together. It's not like they're going to come to blows, but if we want everyone to have a good time, it's best that they not be forced to spend time together. So I set up the arrangements to accomodate different personalities.

Now, I also expect that these folks will be on their best behavior during the event, but because I am their contact person, I will have to bear the brunt of their upset during and after the event.

Do you think that it would be unwise of me to do a minor switch of a couple people (8 tops) just to keep things on an even keel? I could easily make the switch while the B&G are not around and they'd never know, I'm sure.

Or do you think this is playing with fire? DD has said if I was worried about conflict I shouldn't have invited the folks in mind. (One conflicting couple is my brother & his wife and my DH's brother & wife. The conflict has to do with confidentiality...my DB's wife is a housing authority supervisor and BIL/SIL and their adult children had been/currently are her clients)

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (6)

threedgrad
14 years ago
Talk to the bride first and see if she will let you do this one switch.
nanny2a
14 years ago
If you personally feel that seating these guests at the same table has ANY potential of causing a family conflict, then I would definitely switch the people to positions where they would be more comfortable. I wouldn't hide the fact from your DD, either, but explain to her that there are very specific reasons for doing so. You could explain that you are aware of certain "private" information that seating these people together could cause embarrassment or tension between them, and leave it at that. Certainly, your DD has enough maturity to realize that sometimes, "mother knows best" when it comes to certain matters, and not resist your attempts to make the day as stress-free as possible for the bridal party and ALL guests.

If she still tries to make you the guilty party with her remark about not inviting them if there would be conflict, you could explain to her that as family members, they are all welcome because they are there out of love for the bride, but that doesn't mean that they personally all love each other.
Related Discussions
Any last minute advice before I take the big leap ?
Q
Comments (3)
cookingmama, Sounds great. I am updating all most of our appliances as well. Going with bluestar and electrolux like you. We have a warming drawer and I would encourage you to review how you would use it. If you are entertaining a great deal, or need to keep late dinners warm, maybe. We personally use ours to store potatoes and onions!!! Question if you will get the value out of it> Good luck
...See More
Plan review, foundation is poured!
Q
Comments (13)
Landrey-great job on the plan! I think that's why you didnt get alot of responses initially. There are only a few things I see that I would do differently other than those mentioned above. -I would move the powder room into the mudroom area. Reduce the size of that giant walk-in closet in the guest room to about 4.5'-5' wide by sliding the mudroom wall to the left and move the closet entry over toward the side wall of the bedroom as far as you can. You should have enough space to do a 1/2 bath there. My reasoning for this is that right now if someone is outside playing/working and needs to use the bathroom, they will often come through the garage and now have to traipse all the way through your house to get to the powder room potentially leaving a trail of dirt/mud/debris behind them. Or they can come in the front door and trail dirt/dust/debris through the foyer (granted a shorter trail.) Just my $0.02. Laundry room upstairs--I'm guessing that's a counter next to the W/D? How big is the sink you're planning to use? I would shift the W/D down to where the sink is and run a counter from the end of the W/D to the corner and then down across under the window. I'd put the sink next to the W/D with a sink base cabinet and hanging space above then I'd put pullout hampers along the short wall like these: Reasoning--that's a small space and as the kids get older, the laundry only gets worse. Having an efficient space that easily allows for sorting and storing the dirties, as well as allowing for plenty of folding and hanging space will help keep the laundry (and potentially the rest of your house when it comes to laundry) neater & more organized. I think you posted the kitchen in the kitchen forum and asked about building in a regular sized fridge or making the counters deeper. Personally, I wouldn't make the counters deeper--that will significantly increase your cabinet & countertop costs. Since you have the fridge placed on an exterior wall, recessing it back likely won't work as you need space for insulation in that wall. I'd suggest either going with a counter depth fridge (we love ours & I was really worried about going from full depth to counter depth--link to ours below) or moving the fridge to the opposite wall where the bar sink is and you could either leave the bar sink there or move it to the island. Hope this helps! Here is a link that might be useful: mydreamhome's CD Fridge
...See More
Final Review of Floor Plan
Q
Comments (28)
I like Lavendar Lass' squared off kitchen with an island. I don't like that, in this picture, you lost the nice walk-in pantry, but you could regain some of this by extending the reach-in pantry into the area under the stairs. If you keep the original layout, definitely go with a pass-through between the kitchen and pantry. In general, I think those angled-counter-overlooking-greatroom kitchen layouts look stylish, but in reality they're not functional. The angles eat up your storage space, and the "walking space" is too little for an island, yet just a little too far from the other side of the kitchen to be practical. Also, LL's plan gives you a decent amount of space in the single eating area. I would not do doors in the eating area. To use them, you'd have to squeeze by the table. Instead, plan one exterior door on the right side /back wall of the great room -- that makes it easy to use for both the greatroom and the kitchen/dining area. I agree that carrying laundry in the original plan would've been a chore. It's better in Lavendar Lass' plan. Yes, the kids' laundry must go through the kitchen, but it must go through the "pantry path", not through the work triangle. Acceptable. No fireplace? Since the great room is rather long and deep (and, thus, prone to darkness), I'd put the fireplace on the wall shared between the master and the greatroom. And I'd go with more windows on that back wall. Master: Single closet? Double closet? Personal preference. No difference in efficiency. Your sink area is very minimal to support two sinks. I like a previous poster's suggestion to flip the bedroom/bath so that you'd have access to the back yard . . . but that would make for odd windows in the front of the house. Secondary bedrooms -- all nice, and the bathroom is nicely place for the first two bedrooms . . . but the third bedroom occupant must walk farther. If one ends up as an office, that would be it. I do not like LL's second drawing. Yes, I like keeping the walk-in pantry and direct access to that pantry, but two clipped corners make the kitchen too small, AND still maintains a major traffic pattern right through the kitchen. No, LL's first drawing was great -- if your husband thinks the island is too big, slim it down a bit. You don't have to use every bit of space you have; in fact, if you look at the magazine pictures we all like, you'll notice that few of them use minimal walkway space. We react positively to wider spaces. I do like that stainless steel stove in a corner picture . . . but what a space hog.
...See More
latest thinking... Miele vs. Whirlpool?
Q
Comments (25)
"I think mrb is implying government intervention forcing us to go green." Is there actually any debate left about that? I'm for it, except.....early adopters certainly do pay through the nose. Observe the current lightbulb debate going on. I'm an "early adopter" of these things. They are so incredibly inferior there's really no room for debate. Yet I've paid hundreds for them over the past several years in my attempt to be a "good citizen". Now they're required....no alternative.
...See More
cooperbailey
14 years ago
I would definitely talk to her about it.And offer to take on the task as her assistant as she is sooooo busy.
paint_chips
14 years ago
I wouldn't. Your daughter may have her own reasons for seating people the way she did.
golddust
14 years ago
I wouldn't touch this with a ten foot pole. It is your DDs wedding. Let her enjoy herself and reap the consequences of her own choices, for better or worse.

I'll bet you are excited! I remember my DDs wedding...
kgwlisa
14 years ago
as family members, they are all welcome because they are there out of love for the bride, but that doesn't mean that they personally all love each other.

This says it perfectly. If the changes do not mess up any of her other plans (ie where her friends go) then I'd remind her that you have bent over backwards to make her every whim and dream into a reality for this wedding and that what you are asking is a small thing that won't impact her in any way but will make YOUR life much easier and that you are asking her to make the switch. I would not do it on the sly but then I don't roll like that.

IMO weddings are about more than just the bride, it's about the coming together of two families. When I planned my wedding I was extremely respectful of both sets of parents even though we paid for our own wedding, I wanted EVERYONE to have a wonderful memory of the day, even if that meant not having every last detail my way or the highway. Anything that was TRULY important to me I stood firm on but I cannot imagine that having your brother and brother in law sit next to each other at her wedding is something she has been dreaming and fantasizing about since childhood.

I would talk to her and tell it to her straight.

last minute advice

Comments (6)

threedgrad

nanny2a

Related Discussions

cooperbailey

paint_chips

golddust

kgwlisa

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US