Interesting thought! I guess most of the women I know do only have children by one man, although they may have been married more than once. I do know several couples, though, who have a "yours, mine & ours" dynamic going on. This has been on my mind lately, wondering what will happen as my brother and ex sister-in-law move on with their lives. My brother isn't going to be having any more kids (unless he has a vasectomy reversal, and that's not likely) - but he is seeing a young woman that he seems to be pretty crazy about and she has a 6-year old son. (Brother has two kids, 4 and 7.) My sis-in-law (I'll probably still refer to her that way - she's been more like a sister to me, really) is also seeing someone who has 3 teenagers. She very well could decide at some point to have another baby, but who knows?

I so understand your random thoughts on mindless task days. I seem to have more and more of each of those lately!

Interesting observation. None of my friends who have remarried ever had children by their subsequent husband(s). I see this with my neighbors who have families too.

Maybe they know that the 'yours, mine, and ours' scenario presents too many dynamics and potential for conflict.

I do know of three couples who did have children together after having first families. In these cases they married young, had children and divorced young. They remarried when their children were grown and on their own and started a second family together in their late thirties. One couple that did that is my neighbors and their grandchildren come over to play with their kids.

I had my first child in my very early twenties, divorced and then met my current husband when my son was 4. My current husband and I have 2 children together, the first was born when my oldest was about seven and a half.

My niece just gave birth this morning to a 5 pound, 12 oz (healthy!) baby girl with her second husband. (She is the mom of those beautiful twins of mine). My DD and her DH have chosen not to have children together and they both have children from their first marriages. My second DH and I adopted two boys together. He had no children from his first marriage and I had one. Our family is a motley crew. LOL!

I remarried when my son was 6 years old, after having been divorced for almost 4 years. DH has no living children, but he had a daughter when he was 20 who died shortly after birth. When we married we were in our mid to late 30's and we chose not to have children together. It was a decision that we never wavered from or regretted.

Well, don't worry, there are plenty of women out there having babies by many men. Honestly, I'm in education and you cannot believe entire families of children with one mom, and several children ALL with different last names, including the mom who doesn't have the same last name as ANY of the children. I'd like to say that was an extreme example, but it isn't. In fact, one teacher was trying to figure out a student's family tree and my word, it was mind boggling. Young and the Restless could pick up a few storylines!

Recently I was at one of those "word wall" parties, and overheard one guest say she could never get a decal with their name because her name was different than her daughter's and her SO's name was different than his daughter's AND now that her EX was marrying her daughter's best friend's mother, they may have to add her name which would be different of course than her stepfather's. Oh my! I just hope when these kids all grow up they can keep things straight when thinking about genetics!

It also may be generational,I'm 40 and these women are younger, but it may have to do with the age of the new bride, and the mindset they subscribe to.

One of my closest friends had 2 kids by her first marriage. Her current husband is a bit younger than she is, had never been married or had kids. She wasn't planning to have more kids, but decided to have one with him.

DH is an itinerant teacher of blind/visually impaired students in an urban school district. He said that most of the kids have sibs with different fathers.

"Honestly, I'm in education and you cannot believe entire families of children with one mom, and several children ALL with different last names, including the mom who doesn't have the same last name as ANY of the children."

I work for our local school district, in an elemenetary building with grades K-3. We have quite a number of students that fit the above profile. One in particular really boggles the mind. The mother is young (I'm guessing in her mid to late 20's) and has 4 children with 3 different men, none of whom she was married to. She currently lives with the her boyfriend and is expecting a child with him. I always wonder why people choose to put their kids "behind the 8-ball" from the get-go. These woman constantly refer to their latest paramour as the children's "step-father", naming them as such on the child's emergency card. I have to explain time and time again that until they are married to the men, they are legally not a step-father and have no legal rights to those children, other than being able to pick them up from school. One mother wanted to send the "step-father" to a conference with the teacher in her place and we refused. She called and made a fuss but I'm a pretty tough cookie and some things are just plain cut and dried. I think at that point, maybe (and we can only hope) a light went off.

Mrs. Marv Amen! So many men, so many little children. Being a regular wife and mother is enough of a responsibility for me, I can't believe these women are still eager for more children to take care of, especially with their constant interest in men. Lordy, my legs would never be shaved enough to lure a man to me if I had more than two messmaker's! As it is now my husband thinks shaved legs are a treat!

Seriously though, I know what you mean, most people have no idea the traditional family is disappearing. It is also many of these same mothers who call just before dismissal to let their kids know where they are going that day after school.

People are having sex at an earlier age and getting married at a later age. Plus, womena re now medically able to have children at later ages. While I don't know anyone with children from multiple partners, it doesn't surprise me.

If the average marriage age keeps trending up, expect it to happen more often. I would think it would be heavily tied to the divorce rate as well.

I am probably the odd one out, but aside from coworkers, I don't have any friends or family who are divorced. I have a few who are working through tough times-- who knows where they will end up--but as of now, all are single or still on their first marriages.

I work in the juvenile justice field. I would estimate that more than half of our kids have half-siblings, and many or most of the half-sibs each have different fathers. We have worked with one family where the mother had seven children by seven different fathers.
It makes for very complex family dynamics, that's for sure.

I have three half-siblings; two have one father, I'm from husband #2, my younger brother was #3. (We range from 27 to 46-I-think.) The three eldest were raised primarily by our fathers, with stepmothers. Pretty normal where I come from, to be frank - that IS the "traditional family", none of this Norman Rockwell-esque permanent-mommie-and-daddie, 2.5 kids and a dog named Spot stuff. DH and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary on Thursday (15.5 years together) and we're the freaks of the family.

A relative of mine has recently and unexpectedly fathered his second child with a different woman than who had his first; that child is now something like three years old. (I'm undoubtedly a terrible auntie for not knowing right off the top of my head, but we are not a wuvvie-duvvie Cosby-show family. We're more... Christopher Titus. *chuckle*) He is not married to the mother of the impending child - they've been together something like four or five months - and I doubt they have any plans to do so, and it turns out that due to some legal errors he was never married to the mother of his first (also unplanned). He cannot afford to pay child support for #1, either - he's constantly asking for loans from various family members. When I got the announcement of the conception of #2, I briefly considered sending him a case of condoms and a reminder that his health plan will pay for a vasectomy. (My verbal comments were definitely unfit for a family forum.)

Ah, rednecks...

"He cannot afford to pay child support for #1, either - he's constantly asking for loans from various family members. When I got the announcement of the conception of #2, I briefly considered sending him a case of condoms and a reminder that his health plan will pay for a vasectomy."

Sounds like my good friend's son, who is now 35. He has 2 children with 2 women, neither of whom he married. He doesn't have a pot to pi$$ in 'nor a window. He lives with his parents because his ex-GF finally got tired of the same-old same-old (and she's the mother of his child #1, whom he went back with after he parted ways with the mother of child #2). He can't afford to live on his own because of child support payments, and he has a job that just doesn't make the bills. So he owes back support and his life, as far as I can tell, is pretty bleak. Hello??? Nice guy, but not the brightest bulb. Now he's dating another woman and we're all nervous about this relationship because he really can't be fathering another child, whether out of wedlock or legally. I mean, when does the light go on? I feel for his parents because they want to make sure their grandkids are taken care of, but jeez louise. The last time I saw him and he groused about his situation, I suggested he think seriously about a vasectomy. Seriously.

Of my mother's 4 daughters, there are technically 3 fathers, but it is treated as 2 (it's complicated). When my mother was 19, she thought she was still a virgin because "IT" did not happen in the technical sense. Nine months later, I came along. That was during the time when it was often felt wise to compound one mistake with another, and pushing the said individuals into a marriage. This led to the conception of my other sister but the man was a scumbag, no other way to say it. At 21, my mom divorced. She later became pregnant and she remarried and I now have 2 other sisters with a different last name but who cared, really. They were still my sisters and I loved them immensely and now, none of us have the same last name.

I do have half-siblings out there somewhere fathered by the aforementioned scumbag (he has remained so throughout his entire life) but I feel no real pull to them just because we happen to share some of the same DNA. It would be interesting to meet them but that is just more of a curiosity.

What breaks my heart is when families separate and the noncustodial parent goes on to have more children and appears to have no time for their first but that is another topic all together.