bad day yesterday (long)

15 years ago

My sweet very old Lottiecat died. She was probably a year or so old when she showed up at a friend's house. She had been spayed and front declawed and was very healthy, so she had been somebody's pet. Friend could not locate the owner and wasn't allowed to have pets where she lived. She cared for her for about a month, and then called me to see if I would take her.

I didn't have a cat at the time, so I was glad to have her. That was 16 years ago, so she was now maybe 17-18 years old . She probably had been an indoor/outdoor cat, but I kept her indoors. She was the best, smartest and most lovable cat I've ever had.

I recently noticed she was losing weight, and about three weeks ago she stopped eating. I bought different kinds of food for her, but she refused them and only wanted water, then she didn't even want that. She had never been sick, and she didn't cry or moan, but got very weak, just mostly slept. Then yesterday morning I found her in the hall; she had died during the night. My DD and I had made all the arrangements in preparation for this happening.

I had an appointment at the Pain Clinic at 12:30. My DD came to pick me up and brought me home, then she took Lottie and buried her in her back yard, among the flowers and trees. Usually the injections aren't a problem but this time I was in real pain and she insisted I not go. We both cried as she left with her. Now I am tearing up typing this.

After she left I rested for a while and then came here to read and found CR's post about Miss Emmie. I was typing a reply when suddenly my computer went black and it died completely. I was devastated, but nothing that I did made it work. Then I remembered something I had read at CompHelp. I checked all the plugs, nothing loose, so I unplugged it from the wall and left it for a couple hours. Came back, and it worked!! It is still working this morning.

Lottiecat is gone and my house seems empty. I have replied to CR's post.

" 'Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all." Tennyson

Even if it is "just" a pet.

My favorite pic of Lottie.

Sue

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Comments (42)

suzieque
15 years ago
Oh, I'm sorry. No such thing as "just" a pet - as I know you know. I can identify with the hole in your heart and your grief. She knew how much you loved her, of that I have no doubt.
Marilyn Sue
15 years ago
She was really a sweetie, I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you.

Sue and Izzi too
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susanjf_gw
15 years ago
my condolences, and from fat jack and ashley, too...
Jasdip
15 years ago
Aw Sue, I'm so sorry. Your home is going to feel so empty without her. I hope you get through it, and maybe even consider another cat, in time.

I love the picture of her, she looks like a hoot!

(((Sue))) RIP Lottie.
tammyms
15 years ago
What a rotten day. I am so sorry.

Tammy
nodakgal
15 years ago
Oh Sue!
I'm so sorry. I know it hurts badly.
Hugs for you sweet lady!! BIG ONES!!
(((((((((((((((Sue))))))))))))))
User
15 years ago
My heart goes out to you. You've lost your baby. At least Lotti lived a life filled with care and love.
lydia1959
15 years ago
(((((Sue))))) Lotti looks like a sweetie! So sorry for your loss.
alisande
15 years ago
I'm so sorry, Sue. She was a beautiful cat, and lucky to have you. I have no doubt you will see her again.

(((Sue)))
jel48
15 years ago
I am so sorry Sue. My son's cat, Oushi, is 16 years old. She sleeps most of the time, and avoids exercise when possible, but she is alert and loving and still remembers me (from her kittenhood) and snuggles and purrs when we go to visit. My son was sick so much when he was growing up and Oushi was always there with him. She gave him love and comfort and companionship when he was very very ill. It will be a terribly sad day when she is no longer with him. I think sometimes our pets are sent to us for very special reasons. Our Oushi and your Lotticat are special and will be remembered with love. (((( Sue ))))
Charlee_MO
15 years ago
(((Sue))) I am sorry for your loss. That is a great picture. Hold on to your memories.
debnfla8b
15 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. I have lost kitties too and it is very painful. Our last cat Maxwell seems to have gone the same way your Lotticat went. We had to take Max to the vet to be put down...one of the hardiest things I have done. We still miss our sweet boy, the house seems empty without him. Lotticat was a beautiful kitty and was so lucky to have you for her "furMom".

Deb
ritamay91710
15 years ago
Sue, I'm so sorry.....I know how hard it is. I still my Rex, and Jazz.
wanda_va
15 years ago
My heart goes out to you. I know how much it hurts to lose your best, most loyal friend. You certainly gave her a wonderful and long life, and I hope those memories will help to ease the pain. Hugs!
patti43
15 years ago
Sue, I'm so sorry for your loss. You must really be feeling the loss after having her around for so many years. Bless your daughter's heart for tending to Lottie for you. ((Sue))
FlamingO in AR
15 years ago
I am so sorry, Sue. Your Miss Lottie was a lovely girl and she brought you joy for so many years. It's so hard when they get old and start getting sick and have to leave us. My heart hurts for you, sweetie.

(((((Sue)))))
country_bumpkin_al
15 years ago
I'm so sorry,Sue!! Sounds like she had a long happy life!!
nanny98
15 years ago
It is so hard to lose a beloved companion pet, they leave such a big hole in your heart. (((((Hugs))))) for you, Sue. Nanny
ritamay91710
15 years ago
meant to say "miss" my Rex and Jazz..........
country_sunshine
15 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss... she sure was a pretty girl....and I know you will have that empty place in your heart...but thinking of all the love you shared and that one day, you will be reunited... at least that's what I believe...

Hugs,
Carolyn
ont_gal
15 years ago
Awwww Sue,I am soooo very sorry for you....my sincerest condolences.
Toni S
15 years ago
I'm so sorry Sue. She lived a long cat life and I just know she loved it there till the end. Big hugs (((Sue)))
sephia
15 years ago
Losing a pet is so difficult and one of the hardest parts about pet ownership. But...

"about three weeks ago she stopped eating. I bought different kinds of food for her, but she refused them and only wanted water, then she didn't even want that."

Hopefully you just forgot to include the part about having taken her to the vet. Not eating for 3 weeks? Or drinking? Weren't you concerned about this? Cats can live into their 20's so 17-18 yrs old in itself isn't a terminal condition. Sorry, and I know you're grieving, but letting a cat starve is cruel.

I'm praying I'm wrong and you just overlooked including the part about a visit to the vet.
Holly_ON
15 years ago
Big cyberhug coming your way.
socks
15 years ago
It hurts so much to lose a beloved pet. I know you will miss her terribly. I see she was a "sink cat," as many are. Cute!!

Please don't let Sephia's post upset you. This is not the time to judge or lecture, and I know Lottie had a wonderful, protected life with you. Take care.
sleeperblues
15 years ago
Aww, so sorry for your loss.
glenda_al
15 years ago
Losing a pet is like losing a very close friend.
mawheel
15 years ago
I am very sorry you have lost your beloved Lottie. Caring thoughts are being sent your way.
ravencajun Zone 8b TX
15 years ago
I am so sorry for your Loss you have my deepest sympathy. I have lost my 3 beautiful cats to kidney failure and from your description that is exactly what your kitty had also. It is unfortunately how most end up going when they get that age. Anytime one starts to lose weight and not eat but drink a lot those are the clues. I did manage to keep my Garfield going for almost a year by doing at home IV's on him to keep him hydrated, it worked very well and he would let me know when it was time for his IV and he was so good while getting them would just lay there and let us pet him.
But of course eventually even that no longer worked, he was 21 yrs old when he passed. They are not in pain in general with kidney failure which is good.
You could not have done anything to stop the kidney failure it is just a fact of life in the aged kitties.

You may want to add your Lottie baby to the candle list at
Pet Loss

keep thinking of all the wonderful times you shared!
chubby_rat
15 years ago
Oh Sue! You have my sympathy. I can picture Miss Emmie and Lottiecat crossing the Bridge together. Miss Emmie liked kitties so she will take care of Lottiecat for you.Miss Emmie was a diva...she was queen of the house,hence the "Miss". But she will certainly take care of Lottiecat,she was a great Mama!
Run free Lottiecat and Miss Emmie!
sable_ca
15 years ago
I am so sorry, Sue. All of us who have lost beloved animals feel your grief.

I notice that your Lottiecat was a tabby. My favorite! Rumor has it that tabbies are the most loving cats. My last two have been tabbies and their temperaments are so similar - sweet, gentle, smart, and very loving. I know that our little granny tabby who passed in 2004 will also keep an eye out for Lotticat at the Bridge.

My condolences,
Sable
janniel
15 years ago
I am so sorry to read about the passing of Lottie. It sounds like she was very fortunate to have you. May God bless you and console you.
Pieonear
15 years ago
Sue I am so sorry. I'm just glad that you had so many years of love and happiness with her.
wildchild
15 years ago
I'm so sorry for you loss Sue. That's a cute pic.
taigen_gw
15 years ago
So sorry about your loss...I know when our siamese cat "Ming" died it was horrendous! He was almost 21 years old and older than two of my children. Took me some time to get over it. Hugs to you, I know how hard it is.
lynn_d
15 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss, Sue, Lottiecat surely did stumble into a wonderful life. You and your family are special folks and she knew that. They are never 'just a pet' they are absolutely our children, when they leave they take a piece of us with them, but in return they leave a part of themselves in our hearts. Love and gentle hugs to you.
juellie1962
15 years ago
I'm so sorry; I know the joy the companionship of "just a pet" brings......I love her picture...and her name! :)
I hope the good memories can comfort you!
kacram
15 years ago
(((((((Sue))))))
Georgysmom
15 years ago
So very sorry, Sue. You are absolutely right. It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. It hurts big time but all and all, the hurt is worth it when you look back at all the years of joy and companionship.
sue_va
Original Author
15 years ago
I knew when I decided to post this I would be setting myself up to be attacked. Thankfully it didn't happen.

I don't feel a need to defend how I handled this, but I do want to share my reasons for doing so. Maybe it will help someone else. My DD and I had talked about the possibility of kidney failure.

I have a Living Will in which I make it clear that I don't want any "heroic measures" taken when I get to a similar point in my life. No machines, no tubes, etc. Please just let me go. I felt the same for Lottiecat. I wasn't sure of her age, but it was obvious that her time was running out. I would not subject her to anything like that. Doing so would have been trying to keep her alive for my sake. I could not do that.

(And, no, I did not overlook the part about taking her to the vet. I did not take her to the vet.)

She is gone now. I still expect her to jump up on my lap when I sit in the recliner and turn on the TV. She knew then she could hold me hostage!

Thank all of you for offering me such warm, caring thoughts. They are very much appreciated, even though I still tear up reading them.

Sue
sephia
15 years ago
My sincerest apologies to you Sue, if I did upset you with my previous comments. I can tell you loved your Lottiecat very much. My initial comments were a knee-jerk reaction to "what? you didn't take her to the vet?" and I should have been more thoughtful and considerate. Questioning your judgement in the midst of your grief was terribly hurtful, and for that, I am sorry. You did what was right for you and your baby, and that is all good. I wish you peace and comfort during this terrible time. I have lost pets over the years and it hurts so bad. Prayers to you.
Linda Wayman
15 years ago
Sue, I am very sorry for your loss of your beloved Lottie.
Rest in peace sweet Lottie.

bad day yesterday (long)

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