I am so sorry. I am sending you all of the good karma I can.

I know how you feel after all of your hard work. Is there any way all of us could brainstorm some budget cutting strategies for you? If you have to stick to the wonderful plan you have worked out, I totally understand. I know your time will come to get it done.

Best wishes.

i'm already re-using all appliances, windows and doors. the reno calls for an 11x38 addition across the back of the house, which requires a gable roof, as this shed roof cannot bear a heavy snow load. dh gets out onto it and shovels every time we have a lot of snow, and he won't be able to do that forever.
the main cost is in the framing lumber, roof and labor.
i've had all weekend to process, and know i cna do it piece by piece, but that's going to be really difficult until it's done. dh and his buddy will do the heating, plumbing and power, as long as dh's health allows. he is retired from the trades, as is his buddy, so no worries there.
thankyou for your good wishes, they do help!

sending you lots of positive vibes and good thoughts!

I was in your shoes 3.5 years ago and it was tough to take. I had put all my non-critical energy into planning for our renovation for a year when I got the news it was $120k over budget. I can't tell you how much was bought and how much was chosen and the hours involved tweaking everything. An in-law was to be our gc and he blew off my budget concerns until the day he hit with how far off we were. It was hard to process that the project that had been like a second job was all for naught. We downsized the plans, but then the market was falling and we did not have enough equity over the 20% mark to borrow any more.
It wasn't until this past spring when a storm hit and we got an insurance check to repair our roof and exterior ($7k pay off) that we even thought about trying again. I was complaining about how we are coming up short and what a waste that we will fix the roof and rip part of it off down the road when we extend. A co-worker heard me and gave me the name of someone would could get us financing up to 90% instead of the 80% that everyone else demanded. I am still in shock that we are moving ahead and our work is half done now.
It had been hard to process that we had spent so much on architectural plans, materials and even emotions towards doing a job that seemed impossible for a while. I felt embarrassed every time someone would ask when we were going to do the work because we had been saying we were about to do it years ago and it seemed stupid to say it turned out we couldn't.
Could you get a part time job or pay down debt to increase your ratios? Can someone co-sign for you? It may take a while, but you don't have to give up entirely. Having to shave costs off felt disastrous at first, but some of the downsizing was not so bad and the rest was just slightly wounding by the time we appreciated what we could do rather than getting everything on our list and then putting the cherry on top.
I know it is hard to take in but keep brainstorming and you may get what you need from it in the end.

Any chance there is a credit union within your reach? You might be surprised what they can do for you.

Sending you positive thoughts & vibes.

I was also going to suggest a credit union. Also, if you are from the part of the country I think you are, then the fact your husband was in the trades could open up the world of bartering for labor if his health allows, or if you have skills you could trade. A bit unconventional, but may be worth looking into if your loan is coming up short.

So sorry. I know this was your bright spot to look toward, so I know why it is the straw that's breaking the camel's back and bringing the tears. This could be a blessing in disguise somehow. Most of the stones in our path to building were. I pray it all works for the best for you! Maybe in the end, the folks here will help you find a more affordable loan, which would certainly be good.

I'm adding my good wishes to the rest. I hope it works out for you.

I'm so sorry! I hope you find a way to work through this!

The bank might not have all the correct information. We're not a typical borrower and I don't know of a single loan that was correct (I've done 5+ loans in the past few years). Review every line item, especially income. The bank may be missing critical information. If that doesn't work I would try other places. Each bank has their own "qualifications". Also, I'm surprised the heloc was so expensive. Again shop around. Credit is much tighter these days. You've been refused a loan at one bank but others may lend you money.

Sending good vibes your way...I hope it works out for you!

That is so disappointing! Here's hoping you get MUCH better news, in the near future.

I know how much you need that new roof, so maybe that can help with your financing. Are there any home improvement loans in your area...specific to safety/snow load issues? Maybe some governement rates? Something similar to an FHA, but for refinancing?

While I'm no expert, there are many programs in our area for help with these types of issues...maybe there are some programs in your area? The credit union is a good idea, too. Are there any credit unions, which work with construction/trades? That might be a possibility.

Best of luck and let us know when (hopefully) things improve!

You have a lot on your shoulders. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that this is just a speed bump - not the end of the renovation road. It is a challenge to be more creative. For instance, perhaps you could do the renovation in stages and by doing so split up your costs?

You have my prayers.

I could hear your disappointment coming through your typed words.
I just want you to know that there are a lot of people on this site pulling for you and I am sending all the positive thoughts, vibes and energy your way for a positive outcome.....you certainly deserve it!

I think there's a bright side. If your husband is dealing with cancer right now - that's your first priority. You don't need the stress of dealing with the project you've been planning. I mean imagine what would happen if you were in the middle of the job - and the husband you've been relying on to do part of the job has some medical needs that prevent him from doing the work you had counted on him to do.

I can tell you - in a way - I have been there - done that (but to a lesser degree). We were renovating a condo - our contractor was running late - and we had to close on our old place early and move into a hotel. Then my husband got really sick. He was in the hospital. Then when he was ready to be discharged a couple of weeks later (better but still not ok) - the darn contractor still wasn't finished. And I read the contractor the riot act. I said I'd sue his pants off if my husband had to be discharged from the hospital to a hotel. Well that job got finished enough for us to get our CO by the time my husband came home (the contractor busted his you know what and so did I).

Anyway - a husband is more important than a kitchen. And I think that a husband with cancer doesn't need any additional stress (whether from finances - disruptions around the house - etc.). So first things first. I hope your husband's prognosis is excellent for the next year or two. And if things settle down with his health - you can then put your project back on track. In the meantime - why don't you take a few dollars and take a nice peaceful long weekend trip with him - enjoy one another - and let someone else cook some nice meals for you :). Best of luck, Robyn