I have only read a few of the responses to your original post. I will tell you that when I had my DD, there were no registries. It would have been nice, but just wasn't the case. I have, however, hosted baby showers over the years for moms who did register. It is a way for places like Babies R Us to force guests into buying gifts chosen by the mom to be. I don't like it, but it seems to be the way things are now done. I did not, however, accept the store's recommendation that I use their (the store's) invitations. I think it is tacky. I personally never buy a gift off of the registry. I like to give something not so "cookie cutter", and give a gift of a Longerberger(sp) small lidded basket with the plastic liner. I put a disposible camera inside and the ceramic year marker that goes on the clasp. I usually include a note regarding what the basket is for - mom to take to the hospital on the day of the birth. The basket lid is the perfect size for the doc to put a "set of footprints" on the top of the lid of the basket. The camera is self-explanatory. I started this tradition with my SIL when she was pregnant with my godson. The docs/nurses are usually good sports about doing an extra set of footprints on the lid of the basket. It makes a nice gift for display in the nursery - it can hold keepsakes - lock of hair, first tooth over the years. Its great if the gift giver wants to just pick up a gift from the registry, but I think it lacks creativity. I'd rather give something a little different. As far as the larger gifts, my mom, and 2 MIL's took me out before my shower and we picked out things I would need for the baby, i.e.; highchair, swing, good car seat, etc.. Those gifts never came to the shower. I think it is unnecessary to bring the larger gifts to the shower. My point is - larger gifts from mom and MIL shouldn't be brought to the shower. They take up alot of room and then they have to be lugged away after the shower. My mom and grandmother both gave me crocheted (sp?) sweater, hat and bootie sets which I loved, and meant more to me than any high ticket item. Back in the day you received at least 2-3 handmade blankets - either knitted or crocheted. I was also lucky enough to get a handmade quilt "Box of Tricks" from a friend who did quilting. I love what you are giving your DIL. While I agree that your DIL needs to practice better manners, please do not make this an issue. Truth be told, she will ultimately decide the tone of the entire family relationship you have from here on out with this particular grandchild and any other children she may have. I hope all goes well and your DIL learns something when she becomes a mother herself. Congrats on your new grandchild!

If the new rule is that wedding guests need to research what color the bridesmaids dresses are and avoid that color, I'm just going to stop going to weddings. Even if a guest wears the same color, the chances are that the dress will be a completely different style from the bridesmaids, and the shade of the color will also be different. Wear whatever dress you like that you feels makes you look pretty/sexy/drop dead gorgeous--whichever look fits your style. As for brides, the most they can do is set the level of formality of their guests' attire. Requiring certain colors or costumes is telling their guests that the appearance of the wedding guests is more important to them who actually attends their wedding. Not the nicest message to be sending. No guest should have to go out and buy something just to wear to a particular wedding--they should, if they want, be able to use any existing suitable outfit in their closet. What with wedding and shower gifts, and frequently having travel and hotel costs for weddings these days, it's a lot of chutzpah to ask guests to buy special outfits just for your wedding.

Gibby - I thought I was the only one with that problem. Anyone need 100+ unused rolls of wallpaper? (But Hon, they were on sale) 30 to 40 extra lampshades. (Never know when you'll need one) Over one ton (estimated) of rocks. Yes, rocks. How many unused picture frames do you need? Three or four dozen? As you may imagine DW is a 'collector' and is loathe to throw anything out. Most of this stuff is in my barn/workshop so it really isn't in the way but wow, I'd really like to clean it out someday. I guess she comes by it honestly. After DW's grandma died and we were cleaning out the place, I counted over 200 empty plastic hanging flower baskets neatly stacked in one of the sheds. LOL on the typed college papers! My 11 year old asked me what a typewriter was and how it worked. I found an antique manual typewriter at a thrift shop and got it for him for Christmas. He was astounded - He figures I went to college during the time the dinosaurs roamed the earth.

if you weren't invited to the shower, you don't need to give them a shower gift. If you DID go to a shower, you would give both, as you know. If you wish you had been invited to the shower, you *could* give them a shower gift, but I wonder if that might make them feel bad for not inviting you--in which case, don't label it a shower gift. But the wedding gift alone is just fine--and I bet they'll like it, LOL! it'll certainly fit w/ their decorating scheme.