Not very.

Linda

Not at all. I was the last of 6, maybe they were tired--lol. But, I wasn't a bad kid. Now my sister, she was a different story.

No, they weren't strick, although they did have rules.

My mom left my dad when I was under 2 yrs old and my brother was a few months old. This was almost unheard of 50 years ago.
She came home to live with her parents, (a few provinces away)after a time and they helped raise us. So between the 3 of them we certainly had discipline! I remember my brother once blamed me for pulling all the flowers out of the flowerbed. I insisted it wasn't me, and I would get spanked for not telling the truth. Eventually my brother did 'fess up and he got the whaling of his life for lying. To this day I doubt if he's ever lied.

Discipline, certainly, but not overly strict. We had time-limits to be home, and they always knew where we were.
Neither of us have ever smoked, and did drink at parties. Now we just drink wine with meals and the odd drink. We turned out pretty good! Mom says that our grandparents were certainly more lenient with us, than with her and her sisters.

Not strict, but loving parents with the hopes, their guidance,that their two girls grew up properly and happy!

Had a pretty good life. We lived in a small town and walked to school and all. Tons of kids lived on our street and we often played together.. We had an outdoor theater around the corner and we often walked there for movies. Such great memories. Thinking back we sure could have gotten into some trouble but we knew what was expected of us.. Both parents worked and we had chores to do each day. We knew we were to stay home and not have other kids there when they were at work. We knew it and did it. We got to do alot of things. There were 5 of us..

I do think my upbringing has made me a better, wife, mom and grandma. I could cook, keep house, do laundry along with all the daily house things long before I got married.. Kids don't seem to have this now adays.

Susie

Yes, my parents were very strict! As a result, I was like a bird out of a cage when I went off to college. It took me a long time to grow up, as I had a lot of things to do that I was never allowed to do. While raising my three boys, I tried to keep my upbringing in mind and be not quite as strict!

Friend and I were discussing this, yesterday, over lunch.

Like my GS, every other weekend with his daddy.

ROOTS, hard establish roots going back and forth.

I am NOT saying it can't be done, takes a lot of work.

Back when I was growing up, rarely did you hear the DIVORCE word.

Now it is just common talk.

My first husband, this, my second marriage, that.

Just different!

I think I 'met expectations'. I loved my mother and wouldn't do anything I thought would hurt her or make her disappointed in me. She was already struggling, as a divorcee and single mother, which was not the norm in the 1940's. I felt loved and cared for, and I wanted to do the same. It was an overall thing, not a set of 'rules'.

My parents were not strict at all. I believe they were worn out by the time my little sister and I came along.

Tammy

Not my dad, buy my mother was strick to a fault. Left terrible scars that bother me to this day. I think if she had lived longer, we might have been able to be friends.

Trin

When I was growing up, standards of behavior and conduct were
pretty much learned just through normal conversation at home. I had 8 older brothers and sisters, and any indiscretions were discussed and dealt with. I don't remember any physical punishment among any of us, but you sure didn't want to do any thing that would cause you to get that look from Daddy.

We learned about right and wrong, good manners and respect.
I always felt that my parents knew I would not do anything wrong, and there were no hard fast rules, such as curfews.

That was then. So different with families now.

Sue

Yes, Marilyn - mine was pretty much like yours, except that I got my driver's license after I was married at 18.

Mom let me do anything I wanted to, but I would not due to the fact it would make my Dad"disappointed or sad" Grandpa was another matter. Made me mind, but with love and understanding. Grandma also.
I learned to drive at 17, as my Dad paid for professional driving lessons which my mom and I took. Glad later as I can drive just about anything and anywhere. No one is ever too old to learn if they choose to. GF learned in her late 30's and was so glad later.

My mom was lenient and my dad was strict. I almost developed an eating disorder because my dad yelled at my table manners all the time. I hated eating dinner and ate as little as possible. After I left home I gained weight. My mom's mom was very strict and mean and my mom tried to not be like her mom. It was very confusing. It was disfunctional to begin with.

I would not say strict, but we did have rules, and they were very consistant.
You did not change my parents mind, nor could you play one parent against the other. And if a punishment was laid down, it stuck...
They worked togather very well as a team, they had to there were 8 of us kids.
I am very appreciative of the way we were raised, we were taught respect, and the value of honesty.
Both my parens have passed on, and they are both very missed.

My parents weren't strict at all. My sister and I were for the most part good kids...we hit our teens and did the typical stupid teen stuff but no matter what we did and even to this day the thought of hurting or disappointing either of them would be heart breaking.

Yes, I grew up in a strict family. My father's favorite word was NO. He had an independent insurance agency, and he heard about everyone's accidents first hand and feared we might also get hurt some day. During that time, someone in the region was killing people and perhaps also assaulting females and children, and so we were not allowed to go to the park or off the street we lived on.

I too was strict, in a region where parents are very distracted and don't enforce many rules, even if they have them. It paid off for me and my siblings and for my children too.

Our mother died when we were young, yet we had been raised with rules and standards and expectations such that we all carried on as best we thought she would want us to. We all graduated from college, and 3 of us earned graduate degrees too.

Grew up n the 50's.
They wern't strict at all. I don't remember any rules, except I did know to ask or tell my parents where I was going, and with whom.
Somehow, I knew the boundaries.

I think the most important things were 2:
1. I didn't want to disappoint my parents.
2. I knew that my "job" was to go to school, do my schoolwork and prepare to be a responsible adult.

My mother never worked outside of the home until my youngest sibling was a Senior in HS. Before then, she did do a lot of volunteer work...for the school(held almost every elected position in the PTA), some church groups, and her political party.
My father worked, but was also active in the church, Lions Club and local politics.

My mom had rules and like my brother and sisters we obeyed them everytihing was done through love and respect.

My Mother rode the school bus to and from school with me and my sister as she worked in the school cafeteria she did that until my sister and I were both out of school at 12th grade. We never gave any reason for her to be so strict as we were out in the country and had no friends to speak of. Not allowed to go anyplace. We would get hit if we didn't do as she wanted, with whatever was handy. I found out 50 some years later, that my sister too could hardly wait to get married and out of there. I thought it was just me as they were easier on her. Not a happy childhood at all.

Sue

Not really but they taught us respect and out of respect for our parents and not wanting to disappoint them, we behaved. Still do.

My aunt and uncle raised me...My mother passed away when I was 7. We were raised in a christian family. They weren't strict, but we knew what was expected of us.

I would never have done anything to be a hardship for her. She was very good to me. She was my mother's sister and I truly believe she loved me like her own.

When I got engaged to my husband and walked in the house with an engagement ring on my finger she saw it right away but didn't say anything. I didn't wait long to show her. I said "I've got something to show you"...she said "I saw it when you walked in" and her eyes were full of tears.

Sort of strict--at least I thought so. We'd better darned well be home at 11:00 on weekends and it had to be pretty special to be out on a school night. We all had our driver's license but getting the car keys out of my dad took a whole lot of sweet-talking (or tears, whichever worked best for the circumstance). We all earned our own spending money from the time we were 12. I had a job bathing the local dentist's 2 little boys, getting them ready for bed, folding diapers and other clothes and picking up their toys (heaven forbid those little devils have to do it). While I was doing that, they sat in the living room or on the porch, weather permitting, having a cocktail and talking. Did that for 50 cents a night. Saturdays they'd go out and I'd make more $$ getting the boys dinner, bath and to bed (no easy chore). I sure was glad when I turned 15 and got a job as a soda jerk/sandwich maker at the local drugstore hangout.

My parents were not very strict but I knew my boundaries for being an only child. If I did get out ot line, which several times I did; I would be punished.
The only time I can really remember getting 'spanked' was when I skipped a school day with some girls, the vice pricipal called our parents to tell them
that all three of us were out, so we all got caught and I got in trouble for not skipping school.
But, when I came home my parents asked me how school was and I lied and said it was fine.
Well, my father 'beat' my butt for lieing and not for skipping school!
Til this day I cannot stand a lier!!!!!!!
My parents worked together raising me, my Mom did not get her license until I was in ninth grade, she then went to Cosmetology school and to work.
Both my parents are deceased and I miss them very much everyday.
Plus a note; I enjoyed being an only child when I was young but now I do not like it at all.
Deb

Were my parents strict? Let me put it this way........If they were raising us today they would both be sitting in prison.

In the strict sense of the word, no, but there were rules and it wasn't contended as to who was in charge. If you messed up, you'd better not let it happen again. "The look" kept us in line a lot and just the standpoint that we were told to behave and knew there would be consequences if we tested them. They never disciplined in front of people, but when you get home, you'd pay the penalty. This wasn't a situation of "fear", it was laying out the rules, expecting you to follow them or suffer the consequences if you didn't. They WOULD follow through on a threat. So their word was known to be good.

It wasn't a tough life, but we certainly were not spoiled kids, well, until one got into his teen years and got things my sister and I didn't. There were favorites and that's the way of life.

We had our jobs to do and to have to explain why something wasn't done was tougher than most anything, at least for me.

My folks weren't rich, but we didn't starve and they certainly had their priorities straight. We didn't get an "allowance" and to this day it annoys me to see people get paid with no responsibility or accountability. We'd earn our money. I remember at one point a friend was getting a $5/week allowance and I got 10¢ to keep the lawn free of dandelions! It got to the point they wondered why I mowed so often! It was easier than pulling those yellow buggers day in and day out! But then again, if we occasionally asked to go to a movie or something it was on the folks so there was some support in that way.

Mom was sick in psych. hosp. from when I was young and Grandpa died about then, so Grandma came to live with us. She'd make suggestions to Dad about how we should behave and he said on rare occasions that her ideas about raising kids were 20 years out of date when she raised him (an only child).

World War II started in 1939 when I was 10 and Dad and we boys (two younger than I) had a fairly large farm to run, as the hired hands had gone to war, so we had lots of work to do. Dad didn't make a lot of rules, but my wife, 9 years younger, a city gal who lived not far from a rather rough part of town, and was female couldn't understand how lax were the rules that governed us: in the evening I'd get on my bike and go where I pleased, without saying where I was going or when I'd be back. Dad was elsewhere, Grandma couldn't make us tell her where we were going, and the hired "girl" wasn't heavily into disciplining us. It would have been a different story had Mom been around, no doubt.

But it was a rural area, and my apparently long leash wasn't nearly as long as Sue thought .... for most everyone knew whose bike was whose, and what family each kid belonged to, and had I'd gotten into some mischief, quite likely someone would have been aware, and by the time I'd got home, Dad would have heard about it ... and then, so would I have!

I got about three lickings, with part of the horse harness or Dad's belt (don't recall what for ... but Dad used to say that our behaviour would slip, a little at a time, until it got to the place where we needed tuning up a bit). Once was for having made a bit of a disturbance during church worship, and when Dad tweaked my ear ... I made a noise ... so got taken to the church shed (which was sort of like a drum). The neighbour reported that they'd heard every crack ... and every yell.

Dad didn't give us a lot of overt training or set a lot of rules, but we knew how Dad thought and what his standards were and, in the main, obeyed them, I think largely because we thought that they made a lot of sense ... and we didn't want to disappoint him.

In recent years in discussion with my offspring, on questioning whether they ever got a licking ... they couldn't recall it, nor could I. They might have got a slap on occasion.

But they, as I, grew up without a strong sense of rebellion, I think.

I've said that it seems to me that if, as a child grows, s/he is given more responsibility as s/he shows herself/himself able to discharge earlier responsibilities reasonably well, it seems to me that s/he can grow up trusting that, as s/he matures, s/he will be given more challenges and opportunities and may feel much less need to fight for them, to be rebellious.

It seems to me that one of my main tasks as a parent is to encourage, help, question and challenge my child to prepare for his/her independence.

ole joyful

My mother was not strict at all. But my mother raised the girls, my father raised the boys. He was strict with them but not necessarily in a good or useful way...it wasn't for discipline, more like just being a bully.

My two older brothers and I were raised by our mother virtually as a single mom. My parents were divorced when I was about 8 or 9 but our father was seldom around. Mother remarried when I was 10 and had my two younger sisters. Let me tell you, there was a world of difference in the way she raised my brothers and I and the way my sisters were raised. Of course, one difference was they had a father around to share in the decision making so when mother would have been strict with them he let them get away with whatever the transgression was. They did things as teens that we would have been severely punished for and got away with being disrespectful when we would not. Strangely enough, we all turned out well. No run ins with the law, all have college or higher educations but if you talk to the girls even today, they don't remember their parents with respect. What a shame.

My parents were so worn out from raising my older brothers that I had "the run of the town"

I was a nerdy bookworm and not the kind to get into trouble, so no strictness was needed.

I wouldn't say my my parents were as strict as some mentioned here, but they were firm. I never wanted to cause trouble or disappoint them, was a good student etc. They weren't too happy that I was "going steady" with a boy in my class in high school at 16, but since we've been married nearly 40 years now I guess it's okay. (met him in '62, married in '70, had 3 kids, '72, '74 & '75.)
Luckily for us our own kids were good, 2 boys, 1 girl, and are now in their 30's raising their own children.

In some ways. My mother watched me like a hawk, and my father watched everyone else. I never gave them any trouble.

My father was very strict with me. He didn't like my best friend for some reason but really didn't stop me from hanging around with her. He did not want me going out with boys until after high school (of course that did not stop me)! I was the oldest child. My brothers and sister did not get this same treatment.

Not strict but smothering. If they liked it then of course you should like it. If they didn't like it ,then you didn't like it. If they understood it, then it was good. If they didn't, it was bad. My parents didn't understand individuality. My brother and I were "the kids" to their dying day.

It led to me becoming extremely rebellious and made my more easy going older brother unmotivated. He sort of fell into a job, fell into a marriage, fell into a divorce etc. He never chose paths according to his needs or wants just took whatever life gave him. He finally started making decisions for himself after both parents had died. In his late 50s.

When I came along my parents were at a loss what to do with me. I was a strong willed child from day one. I was shy as a child but my mind was my own. They dealt with my wild side by pretending it didn't exist as long as I didn't rock the "what will the neighbors think" boat too much.

Actually I realize now I was looking for more structure and trying to escape the smothering over-protective love my parents had for me. I choose a tough group of older friends who validated my individuality. No smothering and personal responsibility for one's actions were a given.

He's a bit older than me and I thought it was just maybe my perception of my parents that made things so hard. Nope. he went through the same thing but it was even worse for him since he was the first son and both my mother and her mother kept him un-Amercianized as long as possible.

Put my name next to petaloid!

My mother was VERY strict. She wouldn't think twice of beating us if we looked at her wrong or said something in the wrong tone...yes beat. I remember one time I said to a sibling, "Pass me the peepee", but I meant "paper". I told my mom what I meant to say, but she was still so mad, she drug me into the bathroom and washed my mouth out with soap. I'll never forget that as long as I live. I was just a little kid then, all of maybe 7 or 8. I also remember she used to line all us kids up and look over our faces & skin for blackhead. Ewwww. Who does that?? She wasn't gentle either. I remember when I was 14, she called me a horrible name which I won't repeat, so I ran away for 2 days.

Our friends were afraid to come to our house b/c she was so mean. My dad was a sweetheart who became an alcoholic so he wasn't around much - hummm....

Mom is a better person now that we're all grown, but sometimes that nastiness and wickedness comes out in things she says and she's very "grudge holding". Unlike me, she can be very negative. But, I love her all the same.

Oh, heavens yes, we lived in a strict home. The man my mom married was an ex military man and everything was done like we were in the military. When we did our Saturday cleaning...he would do a white glove test and if we didn't pass, we had to clean everything over again. Quarters were flipped on our beds. If we wanted to go somewhere, we had to ask him...not Mom. Her answer would have been, if you want to go bad enough, you'll go and pay the consequences. Well, we knew what that would be, so we always asked him. We were expected to know right from wrong...which didn't always happen, because we weren't guided by them. And if we did do something wrong, we knew we would receive his wrath. I hated that man. He was cruel. And our Mom never stood up to him or defended us.

Vicki...you didn't say...was he your step father?

I would have dumped him in a flash.

I think Denny would have been a mean father if I would have let him. I had to train him. He didn't learn love at home. I'm not a controlling person..but I won't get pushed around either.