As a mother of a daughter in the military, it is heartwarming to see support for our soldiers. My daughter is an Army combat medic currently serving in Iraq and most people are clueless as to what it feels like to have a child in the military. Thanks for supporting our sons and daughters who give so much of themselves ! Pam Here is a link that might be useful: Support Our Troops

As a wife of a military member (Air Force Guard enlisted) who has served 15 years, is a veteran of the Iraq war, and is currently still serving in the military, some of these responses are so different from my own experiences with the military. I'm not a parent, but I would support someone's personal decision to serve in the military, including my own childs. The military is a very large organization, just because you're in the military does not mean you will see or experience combat up close and first hand, even in times of war. In fact there are probably more jobs that support missions than people who are actually out there involved in doing the missions. My husband was deployed over there during the war and never left the base he was stationed at, never once saw combat, as did other military members stationed over there at the base he was stationed at. The military is also so much more than just fighting in wars. They do a fair amount of humanitarian missions, and are mostly national security. I do think being in the military in some ways can be what you make it, you do have some options as to career, officer/enlisted, guard/active, and branch of military. If you know how to use your time in the military, the benefits and training they offer can be an advantage for someone's future career, when they decide to get out, however unfortunately some go in without future plans in mind and then get out with no direction. My husband switched his career field in the guard from satellite communications to computers and is now working full time as a IT contractor at US Strategic Command, along with his part time one weekend a month job in the guard. He wouldn't have his current full time job had it not been for his connections, volunteer deployments, and training/schooling through the guard. As far as benefits, in my personal experience with the military, my husband received 40,000.00 for college (GI Bill), which he has used with no issues for his bachelors degree and there are additional military grants for guard members that if they attended a state school in the state they are serving, their tuition would be waved. He also has received two associate degrees which he earned in the guard through their training and schooling at no cost. We used his VA loan for the house that we currently live in, which can have some perks over traditional loans and was nice to have in a time when banks got strict about home loans. If he stays in 20 years, he will receive retirement benefits. There are benefits on base that are nice, free gym, tax free shopping, inexpensive hotel lodging, HOPS (flights), etc. During the times he has been federally activated (which for the most part have been volunteer deployments, his choice to be a part of, not mandatory) we received full benefits, they paid 100% of our housing, and medical bills along with his active full time employment pay. While he was deployed the FRG was in contact with me often along with someone from his unit to make sure I was taken care of while he was gone. And by law his current full time employer kept his job and it was waiting for him when he returned without any issues. His mandatory deployments lasted no longer than 3-6 months, usually less than that though, and a couple of his state side volunteer deployments/missions and training/schooling I got to travel with him so we weren't apart. The reception my husband has received from others being a military member and a vet, has been nothing but kind and supportive, from gracious hand shakes and thanks yous, to people buying him free drinks, paying for meals at restaurants unexpectedly etc., also lots of military discounts from various places of business, recently we got 500.00 off our car purchase at a dealership. However I realize this is not always the case for every military member. My husband told me last night that the military is trying to provide more mental health programs and are very aware of the PTSD and suicide issues. He said that his base and unit have received a lot more training on mental health in the last few years and more programs are being made available for military members and their families. Some of it has to do with budgeting, and the cuts in military spending though, decisions made not by the military but by our government. Also being someone who has been diagnosed with PTSD from a trauma that happened to me in college, I know it's not always easy to ask for help or seek help even when it's made available, there can be feelings of guilt, shame, and embarrassment involved among other difficulties and emotional struggles. I'm not sure about the idea that the military shouldn't be all volunteer but equal responsibility, there are some people I wouldn't want to have to depend on fighting in a war, and having people serving in a war that had no choice at all to be there (didn't volunteer) could be dangerous in certain situations and cause loss of life. For some they are proud to serve, they want to serve, they feel honored to be a part of the military. They know and accept that there are risks that can come with the job. As can be similar risks for any other service job like police, fireman, EMT, etc. Some of the service men and women I know wouldn't be happy at a desk job working 9-5, they like the excitement, the travel, feeling like you're part of something bigger than yourself, and the comradery of their fellow service men and women. They do not all come from poor families, many could have just gone straight to college, like my husband, but wanted to serve their country instead. My experiences with the military have been more good than bad, I know it's different for everyone though, and I'm sure DH being in the AF guard instead of active and not gone as much on mandatory deployments and having a fairly "safe" job that he choose is part of that. I'm sure if he was on the frontlines fighting, I would probably have a very different outlook on the military.

Bejay--I hope you are still checking your post. I'm not sure if you are eligible or not, but it is well worth checking into. Here is a telephone number to call for help. 1-800-827-1000. I do know that if you're eligible you will need a copy for his DD-214 (separation papers) and also a copy of his death certificate and probably a copy of your divorce decree. Maybe more stuff--you're dealing with the government, you know--haha! Copies of these are easily obtained--well, you have some work to do but it may be well worth it. If you want to check it out on the Web further, Google "VA survivor benefits". There are several good government sites with info. Please check into it. If you're eligible, it may be a nice monthly sum for you. Good luck--Patti

Haven't been able to get here for several days; I have the box packed to go to Afgh. right after T'giving. I did get the special box from the PO. "My" PO volunteered the inform that it's $2 less to military addr so that brings it to 10.95. Every little bit helps. My neice's PO didn't offer that tidbit re: pkg to her step-son in Iraq. She'll be mailing from my mom's PO & not mess with hers. A friend gave me a gift cert he wasn't going to use, & that helped a LOT when I started buying. I can't remember now what all I stuffed in there! toothbrush, toothpaste, dental floss, sanitary wipes, indiv. packets of kool-aid & gatoraid, snacks, etc. I even found 2-oz bottles of honey!! Had never seen that before. Think I might be able to get in a booklet of devotions. Doesn't matter if it's the 'right' date or not.....I usually read them on 'off' dates. :-) I included a couple of games....remember the ones with a maze and a small bb to get thru the maze? I found them last year on a Dollar Store clearance!! I have the box FULL; plan to take it to the PO before I seal it to be sure it's ok. The g'son I thought would be in VA will be 'in transit' and maybe, just maybe, be HOME for Christmas. But I'm fixing his Christmas w/ shipping in mind. I did learn that because he lives in a particular type barracks (training)...sorry, don't remember what my son called it....he can't have snack stuff because of 'vermin'. So! books & other things are being gathered! I appreciate the extra suggestions. As we all share ideas, we can help each other and our military. I'll check out the anysholdier.com, too. Thanks for that link.