Yes, it is an excellent article. I wish it had been available when I was dealing with this issue. Once my MIL's doctor told her she should not be driving, she seemed to accept it, versus how she behaved when we took the keys away.

I'm almost certain my MIL could not have done any of the three things mentioned:
Today, the American Medical Association recommends that doctors administer a few simple tests in advising older drivers. Among them:

Walk 10 feet down the hallway, turn around and come back. Taking longer than 9 seconds is linked to driving problems.

On a page with the letters A to L and the numbers 1 to 13 randomly arranged, see how quickly and accurately you draw a line from 1 to A, then to 2, then to B and so on. This so-called trail-making test measures memory, spatial processing and other brain skills, and doing poorly has been linked to at-fault crashes.

Check if people can turn their necks far enough to change lanes, and have the strength to slam on brakes.

Graywings..glad you found this of interest. No one else had time I guess to look at it. Here is the complete test as put together by the University of Michigan. The test results correlate to the safety exhibited on an actual driving test.

Here is a link that might be useful: Complete safe driving test

My MIL lacks the self awareness to take a test like that. I suspect there are lots of people like her out driving, more or less aiming the car and relying on instinct to maneuver the vehicle.

Trail runner ... I also saw this in the paper the other day. It's so hard for the elderly to give up the independence driving gives them. Most elderly drivers that I know, drive only a limited distance, and not at night. My mother had to quit driving about 8 yrs. ago, due to MD.

BUT, do I drive my new grand baby????? Not yet, but I'm sure I will at some point. Eva Elizabeth is almost 9 wks old. And I watch her 2 days a week. I feel so fortunate the kids asked me if I wanted to watch her. What a joy she is ;). Starting next Friday, she will go to a daycare for one day a wk. I am watching her today, however.

So I am thinking I can take her when I want to walk the mall this winter. And just stroller her around.

How is your grand baby doing. He must have a birthday coming up soon, I think.

Jody

My MIL stopped driving after Xmas. We insisted. Her car had all the signs the article talked about. Scrapes and dings. Broken mirror, trim missing from car. Just before Christmas, she got lost in her car.

It is hard to keep track of how things are going if you live hours away and visit only a few times a year but she couldn't pass any of the tests. Living in CA and going to Dr appts. all the time, I wonder why her Dr did not alert anyone. I told him she got lost.

At some point, I think everyone over a certain age should have to renew their driver's license yearly. Instead of putting the onus for taking a license away on doctors, put it on the DMV. Test people for sight and hearing and reflexes. If you don't pass, your license doesn't get renewed.

It's especially difficult in our society, where so much depends on being able to drive. Once my dad stopped driving, which he did on his own, thankfully, he couldn't get to doctor's appointments, he couldn't get to a supermarket or drug store, he couldn't get to church. These are pretty basic things.

My sister lived close enough that she could do his food shopping once a week. I had to take a day off from work every time he had to go to the doctor's, or my sister had to take a half day off. Fortunately, a friend from church was willing to pick Dad up every Sunday for Mass.

And Dad lived in the 5th largest city in his state. There were very few resources available for an elderly person--limited public transportation, no Dial-a-Ride, a Senior Center but no way to get there. Imagine what things are like in more rural, less settled areas.

I know we will all have to stop driving at some point. But there needs to be a safety net in place to help people without cars get around.

camlan....you are so right. Once a person stops drivng it is easy for them to become "shut-ins". How horrible. If one has dial up transit , as we do in our community it is certainly a big help. One problem is that you have to wait sometimes 30 min for them to arrive to pick you up and bring you home. That can be hard on the elderly . Also they do not drive on weekends.

If we have neighborhoods as we grow older then it is easy to walk to the stores etc and neighbors are close by. I love it when I see neighborhoods where there are still small stores and people out using the sidewalk. Unfortunately , as you say, this is not the case in rural areas or in many cities.

I guess we all need to think about where we will live when we are no longer driving. I use my bicycle for almost everything now. I hope I will be able to continue to do so for many years.

On this forum folks are often talking about downsizing and handicap accessories for their homes etc but I wonder how many actually think about how they will get groceries etc when they no longer drive .

I hope some others will chime in .

jody : HEY ! How wonderful for you to be able to care for your grand. I sure wish I could see ours more often...10 hrs away is too far. He will be one year old on Nov 1st. c

Good article, C, and timely for many of us. Mom has Parkinson's - no trembling, but shuffles, stiff. Also some dementia, but she just turned 79yo yesterday. She only drives locally (drugstore, grocery store) but I don't think she should be driving at all.

If I remember correctly, in England your license is valid until your 70th birthday and then they require annual tests.

Definitely a tough thing. I am thankful that all of my older relatives gave up driving on their own when they realized their reaction times were just not what they needed to be.

I think this is one area where communities need to play a big role. Families, friends , and neighbors need to step up and willingly give rides to older folks. My mom used to get a ride to her hair appointments from a volunteer driver. She thought it was great. She didn't have to bother (as she saw it) her kids for this and she met someone new. Her children took her to doctor's appointments (yes, we had to take time off from work but no big deal to me) and out to do shopping.

My grandmother didn't have a car for the last twenty years of her life. She lived to be 102. We, her family, lived too far away for daily driving so her friends and neighbors made sure she got to appointments and the store. They took her out for coffee and lunch. She didn't feel like a shut in because the people who knew her made sure that she got out and about. We need more friends and neighbors like hers.

Allison , you are correct...if she can't pass the 3 questions let alone the rest of the test then she should be getting rides 100 % of the time.

I know why so many folks think it is OK if they only drive a short way ! I posted this to my church forum/email list. I got back " but I don't drive at night, but I ONLY drive to the store, but I NEVER look for strange addresses, I always know where I am going " ....on and on. Why do you think there are SO many excuses ??! Because we as a society have made it almost impossible to manage without a car . Sad...

Chispa..that is the way to do it..then EVERYONE knows where they stand from the get go.

roses...that is the answer...but we are an independent group of folks...set in our ways...do you see people carpooling ???? NO!! Not unless they are threatened with a ticket...thus the blow up dolls LOL ! We all have been taught to want what we want when we want it....now !

I learned something really important when I started using my bike for all errands and shopping. I don't go out nearly as much since it requires more effort. Ah...I stop and think about if I really want whatever as much as I think I want it...if it is dark the answer is NO. If it is hot...well maybe...if it is a cool and lovely AM ..YES !

On the Kitchen Forum there is a thread about where do you keep your cloth shopping bags..I am the only person that keeps them on their bike !!! Everyone uses a car for everything...sad, Get out and walk or ride a bike. # 1 you will be fit for life and not need a car...#2 you will go out and shop less for junk and only for necessities...saves money !! #3 when your town asks what they can do to help the people that live there you will be one of the ones answering " go back to neighborhoods " !! Make shopping in centers close to homes/apts/senior centers. Make sidewalks. Put in lighting.

I just completed 2 surveys in our city for this exact thing. They are trying to revert to small community based living..sigh...we had it and gave it away.

I am so glad others are chiming in here. Please look at the longer tests and see what you think . I have already gotten feed back from some at my church and am interested in what others think. c

The thing with 'Mom' that is crazy scary is that she passed her driving test a year ago. She has a current license! She was told she needed to get glasses, so she did. ( Now she doesn't recognize those glasses as hers. She thinks they are mine. I can't keep them on her.)

This lady can't buckle the seatbelt by herself. Can't see, shuffles when she walks (hunched over) and is diagnosed with dementia. All in California, where Drs are supposed to report to DMV? Sheesh.

gold...that is certainly scary...but I can tell you that if I worked at the DMV I would NOT want to be the one who told some of these folks that they were never going to drive again. Seriously angry does not cover how hot I have heard folks get when this discussion comes up in a group . It ranks right up there with the right to bear arms :( That is why the MD's and families need to intervene...and then also you just hope that people use common sense. If there were really good alternatives many wouldn't be so resistant . When I did Home Health Nursing for 13 years I heard ALL of the time about how folks were not going to have to depend on others for what they needed and also how no one would help them when they asked and the last argument was that the cost to get help .. even from family was prohibitive. So there you have it. c

Another issue with not being able to drive is that some elderly can drive better than they can walk; not that their driving is very good.

My dad lived less than a mile from a convenience store, his dentist and his church. But when arthritis hit, he could no longer make a 2 mile round trip walk. Let alone walk the half-mile to the convenience store and carry anything heavier than a loaf of bread back with him. And after they took Vioxx, the one painkiller that actually helped him, off the market, his mobility was even more limited.

He had always been fit--he was in the military and had to pass fitness exams his entire working life. Once he retired, he walked everywhere he could, trying to rack up a couple of miles a day. But there is no cure for arthritis.

Many older people have mobility problems--sore hips, bad backs, arthritis, foot problems. All of which make walking difficult.

They might have the energy to drive to a store, walk around it to find what they need, and drive home. But they might not have the energy to walk half a mile to a bus stop, stand on the bus for 15 minutes, walk around the store, stand on the bus for 15 minutes, and walk half a mile home lugging several pounds of groceries. And not everyone lives in areas where you can order food online and the supermarket will deliver it to your house, as one of the interviewees in the article had done.

I completely understand why people want and in many cases need to keep driving. If we want to keep our roads safe, we either need to make driving safer for this population, or we need to implement systems that will allow them to stay in their homes without needing to drive.

Gold; your MIL's story is frightening. My ex-neighbor is going through something similar but his should have been pulled a long time ago. He was ok until 2 1/2 years ago when he fell going up 3 steps; broke 4 ribs & punctured his lung. We've felt his knee gave out; but while in the hospital; they wanted to put in a defib. He refused because his cardio never mentioned it. A month or so after he left my house; totaled his car. Of course it was someone else's fault. He bought another which he totaled that too. He's now totaled 3 cars with 2 other dings. He was finally being looked into by DMV when he ran a light. Before the last accident; his Drs had passed him with his physical & stress test. He was supposed to go for a driving test last week; I pray he was not having a good hour.

He was admitted a few weeks ago for right side cardiac arrest; he's been arguing with me about what that really means because according to him those words were never used but they came from his step-daughters mouth.. I just mailed a print out about it; how it says signs are swollen leg; but what do I know? I have a feeling he also has dementia; in addition he falls asleep while talking. I tried to get the social worker to listen to me before he left my house 2 years ago. What's sad is that he has no direct family except for nieces & one sister & no matter how much I speak to some of them; no one seems to take me serious on the dementia.

A local NJ radio station had a special series on driving; I'll grab some links

Mom has always said she fears for whoever takes her car keys away. ;D She used to be 5ft tall, 100lbs. No longer. At least she drives an extremely safe car, but then the air bag would probably kill her. It scares me to hear she is going or has been on Hwy 280 (C will know what I'm talking about).

Camlan; that's how my ex-neighbor is; especially since his fall. He can barely get out of bed these days but still drives!

How Old is Too Old To Drive?

When Is It Time To Hand Over Your Keys?

Senior Drivers Should Have a Decal Too

It's Time To Give Up The Keys, But How Do You Say It?

No More Driving, What Are the Alternatives?

Looking Out For Mom

camlan I agree with everything you said. Last night DH and I talked about all the responses I have gotten from my church members and here on GW. DH has never driven, legally blind, so has walked or used a bike or a bus his whole life. He is able to ride his bike alone if the traffic is light and he isn't going very far but usually I ride with him as his lookout ;) He walks the round trip , 2 miles, to the Piggly Wiggly ( not our fave store but it is all that is close). He mentioned last night that that is a long way to walk with a load of groceries if you are not fit. His words were pretty much exactly what you said.

I really don't know what the answer is except if you go to Holland ,and I expect in other countries as well, you find very elderly folks walking to the store and using wheeled carts to tote things home. DH pointed out that 4-5 blocks is pretty much the limit of comfort for walking with a load.

Allison...Holy C$%^! Please you really do have to put a stop to that....really.

roselvr: that is such an awful story...that man is simply in denial and is being aided and abetted by his family because it is the easy way out. Thank you for the great links.I am passing them along. c

I feel like I'm helping this go on too but I'm not there; I have not seen him in person for 2 years & when I did; he was fine until he got frustrated. I speak to him every few weeks; most times he's still sharp; but there is a shred of doubt in my mind. I've tried speaking to various people; neighbors & family; I also went as far as to contact someone that may have some pull with the "system" but even she felt there isn't much anyone but his family or Dr can do. His son has been gone; his lady friend gone 3 weeks before he fell. He's living an hour from the rest of family but talks to them every day & it's always a huge blow up. I've tried to explain the blow ups & point out what I feel is dementia but it seems no one wants to do anything or their too ticked at him for things he says. I've been in no shape to drive there to spent time with him so that I can judge for myself.

I hoped he'd be moved out of his house by now & into the vets home but he wouldn't budge. His family is opposed to it because it's no closer then what he is. They want him to sell & either buy a place closer or rent an apartment. Both would be more then what he spends now & fact is; at 89 he should not be living alone.

I pray his license goes; if it does not; I'm going to have to get another game plan because someone needs to speak up before he hurts someone.

Mom has a hard time using her rollator and cane. They have those motorized carts in many larger stores. Every time I look at one and think of Mom driving it, I hear in my mind over the loud speaker "Clean up in aisle 8". Yet she was driving a vehicle in the same world as bicyclists, joggers, strollers and other small children.

DH and I had THE talk with her and when she consented to no more driving, we had someone go into her house and hide the car keys.

Thanks for the article. I found a source where I could retweet it since in Tuesday's special populations class we are actually discussing senior adults and the role of frailty. Many of my students want to work as physical or occupational therapists, so this discussion is very relevant.

My mother gave up the car maybe about a year or two before she passed away. She really didn't drive much anyways,so the car was more of a hassle with mainteance and alternate parking and SNOW. Since a lot of the Catholic parishes around her closed along with their bingo games, she really had nowhere to go.

I have been on 280 in AL, and it is pretty scary at any minute of the day then to add in a senior adult who might need to be driving. The area I was in was totally unwalkable.

As part of my research and community service, we are working in the area where I work to improve walkability, bikeability, and access to fresh fruits and vegetables.

One of our faculty members at work rides his bike most days to work. We have greenways (walking/biking trails) all around my workplace so you see many people walking/biking - especially during lunch times.

But, for those of us who live in rural areas - and want to stay there - biking is not very feasible. We walk for exercise but not to/from anywhere. We are both still working and drive approximately 30 minutes to work. Our choice as we do not want to live in the city. My grandmother and her sister never learned to drive. After her children were up in high school, my grandmother went to work. For years she rode the bus, as my grandfather drove/rode in a carpool to another city for his job. My dad was in the same carpool. Where my husband and I live, there is not bus service. That is fine, as we prefer to give up certain things in order to live "in the country". Just sharing another side of the story.

tina

rose...you sound like you are staying in touch with the situation and doing all you can. let's hope that it doesn't have sad consequences before the keys can be removed from his grasp !!

gold ..when Mom came to live with us in 2002 she had been the only driver as dad was unable after he fell and broke his shoulder. She passed away in 2005 at 88. When she arrived at our home she was planning on getting a small car like a Toyota camry or something on that order..she had been driving Dad's old Lincoln Continental for years !! It was like a BOAT !! Anyway I took her out in my truck , me driving , and we went in to downtown Auburn on a Friday afternoon an a game weekend ....that was the last time she mentioned driving. She loved to walk and never lacked for anything and loved to ride in the truck with me so it was OK not to drive. She never ever had to go anywhere at anytime that I didn't take her. We were very lucky.

Tina...your plan sounds perfect..for now. But sooner or later there will come a time when you will have to decide how you are going to get the things you want and still be so far out of town. I am sure you will have family or friends that will pitch in but it sure will take some planning ahead of time. c

The thing that saved our family from having to make a lot of hard decisions during Dad's last years was a service that Dad found himself.

That's important--Dad discovered this guy on his own; it wasn't something that his kids tried to make him try out.

A guy was going around to all the coffee shops and other places older people hang out in Dad's town, passing out leaflets about a new business he was starting. The business was all about elder care and doing whatever was necessary to keep older people in their homes. The owner had worked for the state's Department of Elder Affairs for many years and had lots of contacts and knew all the red tape the state could throw in his way.

Dad was about 65, and widowed. He was very proud to be this guy's first client--he hired him to clean the house. Through this agency, Dad found someone to repair the kitchen ceiling, patch the attic walls where people had made holes moving furniture. When Dad could still do his shopping, but couldn't manage bringing the things inside (he had problems with stairs), he would do his shopping the morning of the guy's weekly visit and have him bring the bags inside.

The agency could line up household help, PTs, OTs, someone to do the laundry, window washers if that's what someone needed. The owner could direct his clients to the appropriate state agency for specific help, assist them in getting Meals on Wheels or food from food pantries.

The agency is still going strong. Dad really felt good about giving the owner a head start in his new business, and we all felt a little better knowing that Dad was getting the assistance he needed, without having to feel obligated to his children, which was a constant issue.

I know. I was kind of glad when she had shoulder surgery about 5 years ago and then bunion surgery a couple of years ago that she wouldn't be driving for awhile. Dad is home 75% of the days and they do go many places together on errands. She really isn't driving that much, but DD2 and I were talking about it today. Dad is good about taking her to the doctor/eye doctor, etc. And my sister has a ridiculous amount of vacation time with her job, so she takes her clothes shopping, WM, etc on her days off. I can't take her places and keep DD2's baby when she is at work.

If I didn't injure my hip last year; I'd be there checking the situation out & would know what to do. Someone has been ratting me out to him with talking to certain family. Every time I speak to him he asked if they called me. I don't speak to them that often; we keep in touch every few months; the person keeps me posted of any concerns because they know he & I have a great relationship. He's been mad at this person since the fall when they wouldn't take him & he had to come to my house. FWIW; he was better at my house because he never would have recovered as quick as he did; would have milked it & the person is not that much younger then him; pushing 80 themselves. To this day I still hear about how mad he is. lol

I need to get to his house to check the situation out. He has a guy that stops in & drives him a lot.

gsicence...not sure how I missed your post. I am so glad this conversation has been valuable to you. That is great.Sounds like you are doing some great things. I know the town of Auburn has worked hard to make it a "bike city" but I have to say that most of the money has been wasted. As one of a handful of people who actually bikes in the whole area in order to do errands and tasks I hate to say how badly the money and time has been spent on signs and bogus bike paths...all that go nowhere. They are trying to rectify this on our main artery and I spent a long time yesterday answering questions on a citywide survey. I hope that it helps make the area more friendly and safe for pedestrians and cyclists.

camlan...can you tell me the name of the organization or email me a link so that I can get more info on them? It sounds like what we need here and probably in most communities.

allison...I didn't mean to come across all no it all !! I am just so scared to your Mom and anyone that she might hit. It sounds like you and your family have it covered for the most part. Good luck !

rose...I hope your situation and your friend's resolves soon. Sounds so sad and uncomfortable in many ways. c

When we were dealing with the issue of taking the car away from my MIL, we knew it would be a hardship not to be able to drive. But in the end, we recognized that needing a car isn't a justification for having one when the person lacks the physical/mental ability to drive safely.

Trailrunner, that is why we are working on a coordinated effort to improve connectivity of existing routes and signage, and focus on bike-friendly areas around campus and routes that families can enjoy in low-traffic areas.

There is no public transit where our campus is located, so there are more and more people wanting to use bikes for short trips, commuting, etc., now that high gas prices are likely here to stay.

To stay on topic, DH's grandma is pretty computer savvy, and she uses Peapod online grocery delivery in the Chicagoland area. She has never driven. About a year and half ago, she was walking to the convenience store a couple of blocks away, and she got knocked over by a stray dog, and wound up needing a partial hip replacement. Fortunately, she has done pretty well in her recovery.

When my mother was still alive, one of my brother would pick her up, and they'd do their shopping together, each going his/her own way in the store.

Oh, I know that, Caroline, and I didn't take it that way! A lot of it falls on my dad. But he's home, retired and in good health. I have my hands full with work (from home), the house, the now 1yo and pets at their house, my pets. I'm Chairman of the Architectural Review Committee for our POA. Oh, then there's Atticmag.

My sister keeps talking about retiring and she can step up to the plate with Mom. I have very little spare time... but I love my family, DH and our area of work. Not much I would change. ;)

Just re-read my post..whew...I must have been asleep !! Sorry about all the mis-spelled words and grammar.

You are lucky Allison that your Dad and sister can do so much. Extended family is so important.

graywings...exactly.

gs..that is the beauty of being in a city . My DB is in Manhattan and often has stuff delivered. He has 2 different rolling carts but sometimes he just can't get out and so he has it sent in and the doorman gets it and calls him. Works great. Small towns are wonderful but they do have their drawbacks. c

When I took my dad's keys away, it broke both our hearts. I think everyone remembers the joy of getting her/his license the first time. It meant independence. I think it is so important to take that into consideration and understand what the loss of driving privileges must feel like to an older person. Camlan's observations about how our parents may feel they can drive better than they can walk is an astute one. My dad said driving was about the only thing he could do well anymore. Of course, his reactions would have been way too slow had anything happened. My grandfather was one of the few who gave up his keys willingly. He had a little fender bender, came home, and handed over the keys saying that if he were at the top of his game, he would have reacted in time to avoid the accident. Wonderful man.

Love your story about the fellow who helped your dad, Camlan. It definitely makes a huge difference when the driver makes the decision for himself!

Trailrunner--I can't remember the name of the organization that my dad used. I think my sister knows it, but she is hiking the Appalachian trail for the next week and a half. I'll check with her when she gets back.

About biking in a city--Cambridge, MA has done a lot with bike lanes on regular city streets. They have to deal with a high volume of pedestrians, bikers and cars on narrow, twisty streets. There might be some ideas there that your city could use.

Here is a link that might be useful: Cambridge biking

camlan..thank you for the link..I have forwarded it to our biking club. I sure wish our town of Auburn had spent the money they have spent in 10 years and ended up with as good a system as Cambridge. Our problem is that there is no cohesive thoughtful plan . Roads start and stop that have lanes...then there are roads with only signs and then there are paths...none of them go anywhere that is useful !! It is a miss-mash . So disappointing and unsafe.

I look forward to hearing what the organization is. My DH and I volunteered our services to our church this AM to do all errands that anyone needs , if they can't get out of the house. So we will see how many take us up on it. c

Things that make you go "Hmmmmmmmmnn":

Here is a link that might be useful: I guess she quit changing the oil herself

Well; my ex-neighbor failed his written test a 2nd time. He had them print the test out so that he can go back better prepared. The tester said he wasn't supposed to print it but he did after my ex-neighbor played the vet card & how he fought here & there & how he needs his license because he's alone. I'm sure the tester was thinking- here you can barely stand up; you walk very slowly; hunched over with a cane; but your reflexes are fine to stop the car?

I asked him how many times can he fail before they say enough & he didn't know. He's also allowed to keep driving while he tries. :( He kept trying to get them to say there's a conspiracy to get older drivers off the road; he also says there are younger drivers that should not be driving so why aren't they being targeted?

Once he passes (assuming he will now that he has questions & answers) he still has to pass the driving test & I pray to God he does not.

They pulled his license Saturday until he passes the tests. I don't know how they work the written; if he can walk in any date or what; possible he's taking his time going back to take the written a 3rd time; so they pulled his license for what sounds like temporarily. I don't know why he has not gone back because the guy gave him all of the answers the last time.

We haven't talked about it much because he got the letter Saturday; right before the storm. I'm pretty sure he mentioned it had something to do with his body & using the cane. He's now going to consider selling his home. I need to call the Vets home to see about bringing him there to tour it. I also need to find phone numbers to get someone out to his house to help set up transportation.

I'm so thankful they pulled it. I can't imagine how many lives that possibly saved with how many accidents he's had. It's been so long; but he's totaled the original car his deceased lady friend picked out when he hit a lunch truck; a similar car that I found for him; plus the rear end was smashed on that 3rd car & I want to say he had a fender bender before the rear collision. Of course he says the other person hit him the other 2 times & I actually wonder if the rear end one was caught on traffic cam because it's located near a huge car business. I've been praying it was caught on traffic cam.

He called me last night after I hung up with my son's great aunt who told me about the storm damage in my old area; so he listened to me about that which put a different tone on what he originally was going to say because losing his license is minor compared to what the rest of the state is going through.

When he was at my house 2 years ago; I could not get him to listen to me about touring the vets home & getting his affairs in order & now he's kicking himself. He was in no shape emotionally due to losing his lady friend; then he was hurt that he had to come to my house to recover instead of going to his niece's. He's been so hurt about that; that 2 years later he still can't drop it. I hope the loss of license is enough to wake him into reality.

This is a painful story to follow, Roselvr. Sounds like he needs resources, STAT.

Mom keeps saying that she can still drive in a pinch. The thought of her driving on these narrow and curvy country roads ends with "call 911." She would not know which way to turn out of my driveway.

Good luck and bless you for getting involved.

He's needed resources a long time ago Gold & when he left here; he was about to lose the visiting nurses if he stayed. I was hoping they would force his hand when they saw he was not up to living alone but nothing came of it. I still have the number to the social worker at the last rehab he was in. I'm sure she could tell me the best way to get help to him. Thankfully we set up meals on wheels which he did not want. He's so stubborn. With his heart issues that he denies he has; he really should not be driving & I hope that his last hospital admission for the one side cardiac arrest is what got his license taken away because I feel it's why he keeps falling asleep while having a conversation

I don't doubt that he & your MIL are in similar shape. Neither of them can walk stairs. It takes him hours to get moving in the morning from what he tells me. I have to figure a way to drive up there to see him in person.

Your MIL is very lucky to have you. I wish one of his relatives would be as patient with him. I can't overstep my boundaries since I'm not family; I have a feeling some think I'm out for money & I have no clue how they even think that. He lives on his pension; in a really cheap town & as far as I know; he really does not have much & can't even afford to move.

My mom is 95 and still drives. I drive with her occasionally and she does fine. She drives farther than I wish she would, but has never had a problem. For the most part she sticks to her usual route. I was borrowing her car one day while she was doing her volunteer work. She picked me up at my house so we could leave her off at the place she volunteers and I could take the car while she was there. I told her she was a good driver and she gave me a look and said "I've had lots of practice." And that is true. It will be a sad when she must stop driving. I hope not for a while.

He called last night from the hospital. Apparently he took too much Cumadin; woke up in a pool of blood. While in the hosp they noticed his heart slowed down a lot when he slept; so they did a pace maker. He's now in rehab for up to 20 days.

He missed his written test; so we'll see what happens. Once he gets out; hub will pick him up so we can tour the vets home.

Oh dear Roselvr, that is a shame.

My mom had a close call. She offered to give someone a ride home from the place where they do volunteer work. She thought she knew the way (very close), stopped at a light and went to make a right on red. The passenger said "no -- go straight, not right", so mom reacted by driving straight through the intersection, going through the red light. She said she missed another car by an inch. She blames the passenger for saying "No!" in the midst of her turn, but if her reactions were what they should be, should should have known to either stop or continue the turn.

I am surprised she even told me about it. We were having a conversation about crazy drivers out there and she blurted out that story. I told her to stick to the routes she knows and don't go anywhere else. She is determined to remain independent and feels she is capable of driving anywhere that is fairly local.

I wish she would be called in for a driver's test, although I think she would pass.

I'm glad she's ok. You should check your state policy; you may be able to write in anonymously to suggest she get retested. That's supposedly how his loss of license started.

Honestly, Roselvr, I could see myself and many other people reacting and doing the same thing your mother did.

My "neighbor" passed away last week. I really wished he did not do the pacemaker because he could have gone peacefully in his sleep instead of the way he went. Apparently they all missed that his hernia had grown; it was blocking his intestines. He was brought to the ER & admitted; apparently they couldn't do anything to save him. I'm getting sick thinking of the pain he was in. All I keep thinking of is that artricle that was posted about life saving operations after a certain age

So sad I didn't get to see him one last time. I called the vets home a few weeks ago; had information sent to him. They had the flu outbreak; so she said to give it a few weeks. I told my daughter the other day to figure out who she wanted to visit in our old town because we were going up for a few hours. I got the phone call the next morning.

I'm thankful he got to stay in his home & am thankful he didn't have to hear that he would never drive again even though he knew he would not. I'm going to miss him. He was the closest I've ever had to a grandfather. I wish I was in better shape to have him live with us. He kept asking if we wanted a border. lol

I'm sorry Roselvr. I know you were very fond of him. I'm sorry you didn't get to visit one last time. He is out of pain now...