Is it safe to come back in the water? I've been around since the days before you had to register to post and it was free, 1998 or 1999 maybe. I have done a few spins in the teacups in years past. I have also been banned twice. I have a mind and I speak it. I have since been far more restrained. I was once Browntoes, then Browntoestoo, now BarnMom. The first two were references to gardening in sandals the couple of years I lived in Napa where I first discovered Garden Web. The last one I chose when Alice gave up gymnastics and took up equestrian sports or I would have been GymMom. The irony is that I have not a rural bone in my body. I am an urban woman to the core. I am a good sport about Alice's FFA animals but really, I do not like flies or manure or dust. I remember Roger and the cornbread discussions. Because of the grits debate I also went and bought a box of grits to try. They were okay with lots of cheese and butter. I think it's one of those things one has to grow up eating to truly embrace, like pickled pigs feet, or biscuits and gravy. I also remember Janet and Marlen, BethinTokyo, Mique, Ryder, and some others I miss. This a community with its own culture - a culture of loyalty, kindness and good natured tolerance 99.9% of the time. Eileen

Great advice, sweeby! Thanks so much for the idea. Unfortunately, like you I basically avoided the truth and did not record milestones etc. I can't accurately remember a lot of the details of her very early years. At least I kept all of the "official" documentation as well as samples of her work from age 3 on. However, it was frustrating to be asked over and over whether Alex echoed me, or used my hands to gesture, or whether there was ever a regression in skills, and on and on, with no clear memory about it. Did she reverse pronouns? Did she babble? When did she first use 2-word sentences? I had to tell them in many cases that I just didn't know. I could usually tell them when she had done something unusual and that if I hadn't noticed anything different, I thought it was probably pretty normal. Having 5 kids, I have a pretty good idea of what things were not typical. paige, how awful!! It's so sad that people can buckle under job pressure and trash their integrity. I don't see how anyone could do it. I do know, though, that it has happened to us twice in a less direct way. The playgroup teacher was simply unavailable for any documentation or official input, which I considered a breach of her contract but was obviously coming from "above." And the caseworker, who seems like such a lovely, warm person who cares about Alex when you're with her one-on-one, will turn on us in an IEP without batting an eye. DH told me to be very careful with what I say to her (I tend to trust people and will give way too much info). The district has made no secret of the fact that they want Alex off their sped rolls. Thank you for reminding me to be careful!!! A couple of days ago, I had a chance to speak briefly with Alex's new teacher (2nd grade). Alex was standing right there so I couldn't say too much. The teacher expressed amazement that Alex is on an IEP and said the usual we hear from teachers about how well she does, how smart she is, what a joy to have in class, etc. Then she went on to laugh about how much glue Alex used on her continents project that day. She marked Alex's project in red ink with words about not using so much glue and she called her "Miss Glue Girl" in front of other parents and kids after school. Alex burst into tears in the car and told me that she had had to do the project twice and still couldn't keep from getting glue all over. She said all the kids were watching. That's the kind of information I assumed would have been given to the teacher--Alex has *always* had a lot of difficulty with motor skills! Where are the reports and the people who are supposed to be working on Alex's behalf? I had requested a meeting with the teacher so that I could go over some of this stuff, but we hadn't had a chance to meet yet. Alex is left-handed, clumsy and awkward with any kind of project/art work/writing assignment, but there are easy accomodations for most of it (extra time, understanding that she *has* difficulty, left-handed scissors and perhaps a GLUE STICK????). The teacher also laughed about how serious Alex is. She told how she and another teacher were joking with her about her dress. They told her it was so pretty that they wanted it. When she just looked at them, one of them said, "What, you won't share your dress?" and Alex just looked at them and didn't laugh but frowned instead. Well, she doesn't understand that that is a joke. That remark would puzzle her because she wouldn't be sure how to take it. Again, that is something that has been noted in her records all along. This is the danger in teachers reporting that there are no problems and everything is fine!!!! Today she had a VERY hard time going to school because it's Fine Arts day. She absolutely dreads art day. In her arts class (or at least this was true last year), everyone does the same picture and they work on skills such as perspective, graphic sense, symmetry, etc. Alex is not able to do any of those things the "right" way, so her Woman or Dragon or Building looks very different from most of the other kids'. It does no good to tell her that art is what comes from the heart, because for a little girl attuned to following the rules and doing the best job, that is a moot point. Personally, I love her paintings because they are her and have a sort of Picasso-esque quality :) Luckily, we've not gotten to the age yet when these things are graded, but she knows the eyes on her person are not the same nor is the nose in quite the right spot etc so she is very unhappy with her work. Anyway, she has a little chime ball I gave her last year that hangs on a ribbon. I have had it for years. It's a little silver ball and if you shake it, will make a soft chiming noise. It's in a little basket thing so you can wear it as a pendant. I told her last year to imagine there was a little fairy inside and when she felt upset, to shake the ball and the fairy would sing to her. It worked pretty well and she told me that the fairy would sometimes tell her the right answers on her work. Today she put it on for Fine Arts. This year I gave her a small silver heart in a silk pouch for her to carry in her backpack. She gets it out when she is stressed and holds it in her hand to remind her how much Mama loves her and a piece of me is there with her to make her feel better. She made sure she had that today, too. We've not had as much trouble with meltdowns but she is very anxious and angry before and after school. She will sometimes go under her bed for a while and she likes the cupboard under the stairs. She goes in there with a little light and reads for a long time. I told her she's like Harry Potter, though I didn't mention that Harry didn't go in his cupboard out of choice.

Haahahahaa! Karen this is SO funny. I'm bursting into laughter reading these posts again, and remembering writing and reading them at the time. Well done! And my favourite part about Martha Stewart dropping in with her dish towel parachute!!! WAY too funny!

Our color palette. Sofa/loveseat is green. Panels are purple as is the ottoman The whole house was painted last year (Dunn Edwards Bone) and carpet was put in right after that. All the trim and doors are pure white. The downstairs is all open concept. I do not want to repaint. Replacing drapes, buying new artwork and reupholstering any of the furniture is not in the budget. What I would like to do is add a bit of interest by introducing a new color to use in throw pillows and blanket. I thought it would be simple. It’s not! I appreciate the samples many have provided. I guess the bone wall color might preclude using a white background fabric (?). The fabric I posted, while the colors are right, seems a bit bland. Just looking for suggestions for a fabric that will work. No energy (or money ) to redo much else.