I do not swear/curse/cuss to other people or with other people. Very rarely in my life have I done that. I will admit that yes, occasionally under my breath (to myself!), and yes, when driving is a prime time!

One thing that really bothers me - to be around a couple, a married couple who curse at each other. I mean just out and out call each other filthy, hateful words. I can't imagine talking to my husband like that, and he would never speak to ANY woman like that.

Just because I'm around others who are doing it, or movies, etc. do it, doesn't mean I am going to. There is someone I work with, a professional person and it really offends me when she speaks - the foul things that come out of her mouth. It makes me feel like she does not have respect for the person(s) she is speaking to/with.

tina

This is not really swearing but more an illustration of how the world has changed, (I think):

I had a patient who was in her 40s and a bit "individual" kind of an interesting Bardo-esque messy behive, and edgy but professional clothing. She had a very responsible job.

When I did the procedure she was nervous but not really too bad, (I didn't think) but I guess she thought she was being high maintenance.

At the end of the procedure, she said in a nice polite tone, as she shook my hand:

Thanks, Doc, "Sorry if I was acting like a C--- at the beginning. I was nervous." (Anglo-saxon word for female anatomy)

I said "Oh no! you weren't being....um, that"

Patient: "Well I felt like I was being C---Y, so I apologize, this wasn't bad at all."

It's not like I've never heard that word before, it't not like I haven't heard fighting women scream that at each other outside the methadone clinic, etc.

But here was a woman using it in everyday conversation. I was sorta blown away by that.

I have never heard my father swear, ever! Even in anger. His frustration was evident when he'd say, "Oh, for Pete's sake" in a certain tone of voice. My mom never really cursed either..

I don't like cursing. Personally, it just sounds uneducated to me. I admit that I might curse in anger in the car while driving alone but I have four young kids, and I don't curse in front of them. My neighbor cannot hold a conversation without every other word being "sh**" or "f***" - I don't think I have EVER spoken to her when she hasn't used the "f" word. She is an educated woman, but listening to her speak makes me cringe. She does not save it for when she is in close company either - she speaks that way around anyone, even people she has just met. It just makes it sound like she has very limited vocabulary. And she is so used to doing it, that she slips up quite frequently in front of the neighborhood kids. Just last week we were at a cookout. My 13 y/o was having a conversation with her about a recent trip my dd took with dh, and I heard several curse words (though, thankfully, not the F word). And while I'm sure my dd hears those words at school, it's just the idea that it's coming from an adult that she is close to. Ugh.

I don't like swearing in a movie, certainly doesn't make it a better movie because they use the f word constantly!

But to hear it in everyday language, like the example P. gives, is startling and formidable.

I hear it often while loading groceries, yesterday two women nearby were using that kind of language casually, it makes me want to get far, far away. While they loaded up their kids, of course....

is swearing a sin? ..or just unladylike? I wish someone would have told me. Well, I use the big words over the dumbest things I do. So, I curse at myself. I hope that' s considered healthy?..Drivers I will get along side if it takes me the rest of the day and give them the STARE and mumble something to let them know they are big fat, irresponsible jerks. Big stuff. No.

I was raised with the sentiment Graywings expressed. My parents never swore, or used God's name is vain. If I stub my toe, I might say "Gosh Blast it!". Crazy drivers are idiots, plain and simple.

I guess because I live in a city and one rather known for it's hostility at that, I have no negative interaction with people on the street whatsoever. Usually I will not even make eye contact, and any running commentary is purely internal, although sometimes I think my lips move.

Same in the car. I keep any feelings to myself. There have been murders here over people giving the eye or the finger, and a couple of them have not even been one of the parties involved, but someone who was shot when the driver in question was not hit.

I am also careful because a colleague of mine who has severe road rage let loose on someone and then walked into the operatory at work and it was her new patient.

I think using certain words is a sin, even if I use them internally and I do try to control this. I will use the worst of vulgar curse words sometimes but usually for effect and only with people I know really well.

It has become so ubiquitous though, a lot of language has lost its effect and I wonder what people will replace it with? Physical violence?

LOL, Gold! See, I'm really really offended if someone takes the Lord's name in vain. I wait for lightening to strike. lol. I won't even say "gosh blast it" because I feel it's the same thing.

I'll be watching a PG movie and all of a sudden someone says gd. It adds nothing to the movie!! Now our kids are being desensitized to all these words.

When I was a kid, and all through adulthood, my mom would say sh**. I don't mind someone saying B.S. or "I call B.S. on that," because it's used in a funny manner. And it doesn't bother me if someone says, "Oh sh**!" Actually I do say that quite a bit when I'm alone or with my dh. lol.

Mine language goes in phases. I think that words have power and if I were to use them too often, they would lose their power, so when I use certain powerful words, it is because those are the best words to capture my level of frustration. Whenever I use those words though, they are not directed at an individual but more of a reflection of my inner turmoil at the time.

I had to laugh at this one, because although I seldom swear, I think it is sometimes creative and linguistically interesting to hear. My particular favorite is the f-word infix, like when someone says " that's un-effing-believable!". The grammar rules are defined, you can't just stick an f-bomb any old place, like "unbelieve-effing-able!"

A Russian friend once told me that swearing in English bores him to tears. Apparently in Russian you can take a noun and move it thru all sorts of different parts of speech or cases. For instance, imagine "dog" as a bad word. You could construct a sentence something like " that doggity dogger dogged the dogging dog! " Or even switch it up with other bad words... "that doggity cat pigged the cockroaching lemur!". And the more creative the better, lol.

Sadly, I do swear. I'm not sure why it happens. I try very hard not to, but sometimes the words slip out.

My sister is a dental hygienist and also teaches in the school of dentistry and dental hygiene at our university. She teaches the practical labs and has very high standards for professional conduct. If you fail her course you don't graduate and have to redo the course. Anyway, she was having some issues with one of her students and when leaving one day the student said "Mrs. M, see you next Tuesday". My sister didn't get it because she teaches this particular student on Thursdays but the person she was walking with said, do you know what she said to you? My sister didn't understand what she meant (Now I have never heard this phrase either) but it means C U .... (first letter of next, first letter of the next word). (Gosh I hope I don't get censored for this!)

So basically she called my sister, her instructor, that C word. The Dean did find out and eventually the student was put on probation for unprofessional conduct.

We have a number of nieces who are in their 20's and they have all said that word is a word that they would never use, that it is a disgusting word and to use it against another female in particular is inconceivable.

Put me in the camp of those who rarely swear. I, too think that it is a display of ignorance to use a stream of swear words to describe your frustrations in public. There are so many other words to choose from that offend no one. I am discouraged that our children are becoming desensitized to so much; particularly lanquage, lack of morals, and lack of modesty. I want my daughter to be a lady and my sons to be gentlemen. I like the old fashioned ways of treating ladies with respect, opening the car door, ect. I'm also disgusted to see what I've seen too many times to count of moms in grocery stories spouting a stream of obescenities in front of their small children and sometimes to them. They are so ignorant as to not realize the gift of what they have in their precious child, to treat them that way.
Having said that, I'm known to say an occasional sh-- if I've forgotten something important or "hells bells" as my mom used to say. However, I am offended by those who use the Lord's name in vain. I try really hard to be authentic and always speak in a way that would be acceptable to anyone, including my grandma, or my pastor. I'm trying to teach my teenagers that too, but I know they sucumb to peer pressure. Most swear words in movies add nothing to the plot or content of the movie. However, my teenagers find humor in some swear words in movies and they're right, some swear words are funny to hear or say, depending on the situation. My 10 year old daughter has friends that say "shut up", or "someone got screwed", or something "sucks". I don't want her to be too judgemental of others but I don't want her to speak that way. And she doesn't (to my knowledge). I teach her that those words aren't curse words, they're just "rude words". And she needs to choose other words to say that aren't rude, then I give her examples. Sorry If I've gone on and on. It's hard to tell how much you've typed here in this little box until you're done!

I have friends whose son didn't speak for a VERY long time.
They worried and worried and the teachers kept asking if they spoke for him. That was until one winter day as they were driving him to pre school they heard him say from the back seat in perfect English. "It's colder than a witch's _ _ _.

Put that in his growth book of baby's' first words spoken.

They made such a gulp when he said it and then started laughing in horror. So, of course, it became his winter mantra.

Joanie - I so agree! It is sad that we are desensitized. The other day I was walking into a store, and in the parking lot parked next to me was a car with a man and woman in the front and a small (4/5 yr old) boy in the back seat. They had their windows down so I could not help but hear what they were saying (plus the man was yelling). The man told the little boy "you're an A Hole". What kind of example is that? How is a child going to know any better. So sad.

tina

The "C" word (female anatomy) is vulgar. It's never come out of my mouth. Actually, now that I think of it, it's one word that I rarely hear around here.

tina

If I heard an escalating disagreement like that and I never have I would be scared and call the police. Don't know if the police would consider it a real problem but how dare they do that in front of their child who is viritually powerless to move away and how dare they scare people around them like me. Who knows what would come next.

I, too think that it is a display of ignorance to use a stream of swear words to describe your frustrations in public. There are so many other words to choose from that offend no one.

I wholeheartedly agree. It's actually more effective to express anger or frustration without swearing. (My own father recently told a smart-aleck young store manager: "I will not be lectured by the likes of you!" I love that. Conveys far more than name-calling would!)

That said, I'm certainly not above dropping an f-bomb or a number of other words when I feel it fits. It's most often in private, or with DH or very close friends. I would never swear in front of someone who would find it offensive. Would never dream of doing so in front of a child. I do happen to feel that occasionally the use of a well-placed curse word can be effective in its own way as well.

I don't know anyone in real life who uses a lot of profanity, but Dexter's sister on TV is someone who does! I find it heavy handed, annoying, and offensive. (I guess it's not the worst thing on Dexter, though!)

I had a SO who would use d**n but not God d**n. I reminded him that only God can d**m anything so d**n was in fact the same as GD. Didn't stop him though...

Sometimes I do but most of the time I don't. My DH says he can always tell when I have one of my bad headaches because that's when my patience runs thin(ner). I'm more apt to get perturbed when in pain and that's normally only time I use stronger language. I've mellowed out a lot as I've aged; when I was younger, my Irish temper used to always get me in trouble. :c)

I remember the first time my oldest son was SO MAD that he decided to use a swear word. He must of been about 5. (I actually saw the gears turning inside his head while he calculated the impact versus the consequences...) He decided he was that mad.

The swear word? "Damage!"

It's a family classic story now.
Guess you can tell we don't swear all that much.

Sweeby, when my oldest son was four he called me and my husband "foos". He was all wound up and angry for some reason, and said "you, you, you...foo!" (he was trying to say fool) It didn't have the desired effect because we just busted up laughing, which made him even madder.

I am trying not to use the "F" word or at least cutting back. I only swear alone and feel bad about it.

But, does anything express things better than the "F" word, I ask you? But, I never swear in front of people, okay I try not to and I've been pretty successful.

newdawn, you do bring up an interesting point. Sometimes that which offends is also that which captures the correct essence in a perfectly succinct way.

Our younger DD is a junior in college. She is bright, very linguistic,and a great judge of people. She would be the first to tell you that some people just behave like A$$h@les. Not jerks, not "tools", not idiots, but selfish, conniving, sneaky, bragging, inconsiderate, slightly lazy, self-serving you-know-whats. She doesn't choose this word for lack of vocabulary, or shock value, but for its intrinsic truth.

I have on very rare occasions, but I had to think about it . . .to make a point.

I consider swearing to be very hostile language. That is what I am teaching my kids-- I don't say there are "bad" words, but rather angry words. We've also discussed that swearing tends to make a person sound uneducated.

There was someone I "knew" online from a natural parenting forum, and then met her IRL. I was SO disappointed that she continually swore. It was an indication of more negative surprises from her.

I get that certain groups of people just swear more together, like my DH when he plays poker with his friends. (He never swears around me or the kids.) Or, as mentioned-- certain professions almost require it to be accepted. Just not something I do.

http://youtu.be/tlEC0bS2UMw

Julie, my DD calls those kind of people 'gluttonous'. LOL!

Years ago there was a "Zits" comic in which the mom, using a pair of tongs, was placing a video into a garbage bag while the dad told Jeremy that his mother never did tolerate coarse language (to which the son replied, "But it's PG-13!") My kids teased that the cartoonist must know me.

I swore something awful when I worked in a traditionally male field in my 20s. When I realized it was becoming a habit, I stopped.

Dh is one of the rare people who doesn't swear in his office, except for one time under great provocation. It was so out of character that everyone in the meeting was floored. The person at whom the outburst was directed apologized immediately, and again more formally the next day, but dh felt bad about losing his composure.

I don't. Just never have on a regular basis. I do believe the F-bomb dropped out of my mouth when a car ran a stop sign in front of me and I T-boned him. I don't think I said it to him. Just my husband when I called him hysterical from the scene.

And well there was that one explosive in public time...And it is a blank for me, but I'm pretty sure I was cursing like a sailor. My little cockapoo was on a leash on our property coming back from getting the mail with me and my neighbor's dog was let out of their house w/o a leash and it made a bee line for my dog. It is a Rhodesian Ridgeback mixed with a Pitbull. It grabbed my little girl and started swinging her around. The a.h. that lived next door who was 80 years old and had dementia stood NEXT TO THE DOG AND BLEW HIS WHISTLE while I was beating his dog to make it let go. When the dog finally did let go, he continued to just stand there w/o his hand on the dog's collar to hold it. He kept telling me he didn't have to, he was in control. I'm pretty sure there was a lot of cursing coming out of my mouth.

Yes, my dog survived but it was ugly. She now trusts no one and having guests to the house is a bit scary. And for the record, this was the 2nd time my dog was attacked by that dog. And it was the 5th overall attack by that dog on a dog in our neighborhood. There was absolutely nothing that could be done either. We did push so he would be fined. But that dog is still alive and terrorizing the neighorhood dogs. It just "gets out" by accident. Well, not that day, he was walking it (illegally) off leash. The veterinarian would not put the dog down because it was healthy. And that is the same veterinarian that treated my dog. So, he saw the damage that the dog has done to other dogs.

Sorry for the rant and getting off topic.

So, maybe I do curse. But it takes a lot to get me there. I always remember Jerry Seinfeld discussing cursing and why he doesn't do it in his act. He said that he felt it was the lazy way for a comedian to get a laugh.

Awww, that's awful Bee!! Your poor pup.

tina

That is terrible, Bee! I hope you changed vets.

i grew up with no cursing... tho my best friend's mom had the tendency to say s--- fairly often which i thought was funny!
i hear alot more cursing now than i did 15 yrs ago or so, but it's probably because i'm older and 'hang' with an older crowd now! (not watching our tongues because of the kids...)
i think it might be our geography too...

i don't know if this is geographical or if times have just changed, but 30 yrs ago in college in the south it was very common to use the f word to express appreciation--- 'f ing A' was said all the time! i don't really remember hearing the f word used much in anger back then! or maybe 'we' in general were young and just more laidback then... :)

No, no, never! Not ever. I've really enjoyed reading the replies on this thread though...and have laughed out loud several times!

I had an interaction with a neighbor just a few days ago during which he used a vulgar turn of phrase and the f- word! He was actually being very friendly towards *me.* I like this man. He was just expressing his views on a subject without "reservation," shall we say?

I just laughed out loud when he said these things! I thought it was actually kind of disarming that he was so "out there" and unvarnished and was just completely being himself. ( He's originally from Philadelpha, btw!) We parted by my saying, "Well, it was nice chatting with you!" and he said, "It was nice seeing you, darling."

I find swearing in general to be very hostile language, as anele said, maybe it's not these days as P commented on, but to me it's an expression of anger, resentment and rage.

I distinctly recall when my brother who was in his late twenties at the time, decided to use the F word as a constant adjective. I wanted to run as fast as possible away from him, it was so disturbing. I think he was just a rebellious product of movies and gaming but sill it wildly
repelled me.

"There are too many other words that you can use instead. Swearing as part of your daily life is for people with inadequate vocabularies. I consider people who swear to be somewhat lower class no matter what their education or professional level."

For real? Where did this bit of information come from? Guilty of swearing and am well educated and adequate vocab skills, or so I thought...

This bit of information came from me. It's my opinion. If you and I were in a public place and you, a stranger, starting swearing, that is the impression I would have of you - a lower class person without sufficient command of the language and/or their emotions.

Think about it. Come up with the names of some well-known people who swear. Are these role models? I consider Jerry Seinfeld to be a gifted comedian, probably the best in the business of standup comedy, and I totally agree with him. Whether you are being funny or just trying to communicate your feelings, swearing is the lazy way to do it.

Hell no. Oops. I try to keep curse words to a minimum and when a sh word slips out when I stub my toe or something I apologize to God for cursing.

graywings, I totally agree! If I'm standing in line in public hearing someone swear, I think the same thing. Can't help it, I just do.

So called "swear" words are just words, and have no power, I say what I want to, and on many occasions, what I want to say contains words some people call swearing. As to those who feel that makes me of a lower class than you, that is your opinion, but it is my opinion that being so judgmental makes a person classless, so I guess we are even. To those who say they are offended when someone takes "the lord's" name in vain, well, I don't have a lord, and if I did, she would not worry about nonsense like swearing when so many horrendous things happen in our world.

sandyponder

I and my young daughter were in a car with a friend, and a bad driver made my friend very angry, and she loudly used a variation of the f word and of course my daughter said "What? what did she say? What did she call them?" so I quickly said "Irkers. She called them Irkers.". Then later, my daughter tested it out. "those were some real Irkers, weren't they, mama? So I corrected her and said that my friend had used bad grammar, and he real word was "irksome people". So now that's what she says, "those are some really irksome people" I have to stifle a mad giggle each time she says it.

sandy, words DO have power! In my opinion, I just have respect for myself, AND other people to try not speak in a way that could offend someone else. You clearly don't.

I just don't see what's so hard about not swearing-I guess I am able to get my point across to people without having to use "swear" words.

kiki, that's cute!

It's all in how you view the world, olliesmom, I don't think there are any "bad" or "swear" words, they are just words that some group of religious men said were "bad" and I don't crib to what someone else thinks I should say, do or think. How and when I choose to use any language is up to me, not you or anyone else, and if it offends anyone, well, that's their problem and if they choose to not associate with me because they don't like my word choices, that is their prerogative, and I really don't care, it is my experience that narrow-minded people are uninteresting and tiresome to be around.

sandyponder

Sandy, I have to disagree. There are certain words I will not use because they are so offensive to others. To me they are also derogatory. Whether or not that makes them "bad" words I guess is up to you. Such as the "N" word, the "Q" word and even the word FAT when referring to someone. I don't think "a group of religious men" (what there are no religious women?) decided these were bad - to me they are offensive and out of respect for others, I do not use these words and others. I made that decision myself, not because someone told me.

How is your whole comment not narrow minded? Everyone here is entitled to their own opinion. I don't believe anyone is telling you not to swear, or that they would not associate with someone who swears.

I believe that many people feel the way you do, sandyponder. These are fundamental positions on how one views life and others in society.

tinam61-

I can't speak for the OP, but I took her post to mean your garden variety, heard-on-every-school-bus-in-the-world swear words, not racial, ethnic, homophobic, misogynistic, etc., slurs, and my response was aimed at those words, not slurs or other charged invective.

sandyponder

Okay, in an effort to educate myself and to keep from offending somebody, what is the "Q" word? If someone could give me a hint, I really do not know.

Rhymes with ear?

Queer.

So...it's okay to offend so-called "religious" people, who don't want to hear swear words in public, but, you stop at the "other" words? You are more narrow-minded than you think.

"Religious" doesn't have anything to do with why I don't swear, I just think it makes the person look like an idiot, if done in public.

Thanks. I did not realize that one was still being bandied about.