My bf had two heater malfunctions : the first left his dinner plate-size discus frozen solid in the winter. The second cooked his most favorite catfish collection. He was most upset about his 8 year old feather fin catfish. Several months later I got him $100 worth of African cichlids as a surprise..not the best idea since his tank wasn't ready for them and they all died :( When I was young I had a plecostomus that started to creep me out the bigger it got. It had a crooked face, bulging/bug eyes, and would chase you as you walked by the tank. Worse: It started to jump out of the water and bark!!! I was ready to give it away, then one morning, although we have a hood, my brother found it dried up on the living room floor, several feet away from the tank. He decided to flush it down the toilet, which resulted in us having to call the plumbers. My kids crashed my tank of platies that were gifted to me. The gal had them for 13 years (highly inbred but she loved them, so I loved them). I saved about 7 out of 40+. The kids had accidentally dropped a stuffed animal in there when the lid was partially opened, I think whatever beans/beads were in the stuffed animal leached harmful chemicals into the tank because they died so quickly. Lastly, I had an upside down catfish that I really loved, he was shy at first but became so fun to watch. One day he disappeared without a trace. No body, no bones, nothing. I looked under decor, sifted through gravel, and gave up not knowing what had happened. Six months later, I decide to take out my under-gravel filter, and something sharp poked me. There he was!!! Alive and swimming. I'm not sure how he got down there, and I don't use the undergravel filters anymore :)

I received my box from Deb today. This is what was inside. Thank you very much, Deb. Now I need to get some potted. The flowers the neighbor weed whacked in the highway curb are trying to come back. It looks odd where the blooming Gypsophia ends, though, like the row abruptly stops. I'll be thinking about all of you. Seeds- Orange Cosmos Mammoth Grey Striped Sunflower Sparkler Radish Mimosa Vitex Chaste Tree Unknown colored Cosmos Shasta Daisy "Silver Princess" Pink Oleander Shrub/fragrant (seeds have a poisionous label) Hardcover book- "Scrapbooking with Memory Makers" Tons of ideas, pics. 118 pages package of copper plant markers Roses 1001 Gardening Questions Answered, 131 pages, hardcover Big Crinium bulb! Victoria Principal's book- "30 day plan to look and feel 10 years younger", hardcover. Caladium bulb- "F.M JOYNER" Caladium bulb- "Candidum" More seeds- Lavender '08 munstead Red Kurl Uchiki Kurl Squash Cactus flowered zinnia Lemon Balm Sweet Dumpling Squash 4 O'clocks, yellow Gourd "Straightneck Wrenhouse" Poppy "Peony red" Black diamond heirloom watermelon Zinnia "Cherry & Ivory Swizzle" Scarlet Scarlet Marigold '08 Black eyed Susan vine/Orange Thunbergia Alata "Superstar Orange" Cinnamon Basil Georgia collard greens Marigolds yellow/orange 2 baby cactus 1 Aloe vera pup, rooted 2 cactus pads- outdoor optunia Boston Ivy cutting, very nice!! Thanks again, Deb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now 77 years old and now diabetic 2 (but I can eat fruit and I do have a lot of fruit). Waiting 2 more weeks before I start indoor grow light seeds, winter sowing seeds, salad seeds in heated mini greenhouse. Replaced mini greenhouse by myself and covered edges with many rolls of UV film. Sprayed chairs and ornaments with UV spray. Sprayed rusting items like dog pen for blueberries and metal ornaments with WD40. Chairs must have 2-3 bricks on them to keep them from blowing down in the wind. Laid black plastic film to replace so called landscape fabric that loves weeds. Poly film and clover are great aides to prevent weeds. I have a giant leaf blower and shredder that is now hard to lift - so I got a light weight leaf blower and blew away most of the oak leaves and nuts near the back of the house and the wind moved more for me. In spring my ex son in law will trim the too tall again so-called dwarf apricot and plum trees for me with my new electric chain pole saw. The peaches, nectarines, and mini apples are short enough. I have watering lines for sprayers and emitters and use timers. I laid out a hose line with switches from the center sprinkler so I could hand water if needed (2 times so far after water lines drained for winter) and to spray the fruit trees - now both are super easy jobs. It now takes less than 5 minutes to spray the 14 fruit trees using a hand sprayer (wonderful invention) - hah!. I also have a mister in case I overheat in the summer. I will have to prune the brambles and remove dead food crops from tubs later - but that is easy with a hand pruner. I have large trash cans with drainage slits placed at every end of the back yard for yard and garden debris until they either compost or go into the trash. Planting food crops in tubs is so easy and so is picking them. Back yard getting really gorgeous all year long. Have colored chairs, colored tubs, colored and white solar lights (getting more this week), colored and green foliage (dwarf conifers, some evergreen sedums, strawberries/blueberries/brambles turning color - earlier EAC was vivid red). I have solar and non-solar ornaments with more coming this week. I even recently added fake flowers for some tubs - crazy but it looks good this winter. Front yard dwarf japanese maples and azaleas turning color. The 2 giant oaks dropped their nuts and leaves again but not as bad as in previous years. The city just added a sidewalk so that is less area to take care off. In spring I will have lots of bulbs and flowering bushes and trees. In summer I will have food crops and flowers. In fall I will have food crops, flowers, and fall foliage. In winter dwarf conifers, sedums, and food crops in the GH. Life is good and gardening is now super easy. I find it hard to believe what I used to do when i was in my 20s - like try to garden in clay in the country and carry water from a creek a long distance away.

Thank you all for your suggestions and advice. I really appreciate it. I'll try to address some of your questions. It would have been great if we could have started fresh with a new house, but with our situation it just wasn't possible. And I LOVE the rest of his big family. They are very kind and sweet to me, so I try to focus on them. I keep trying to remember that it's only been three years since her death and we have only been married for a year. Everything takes time. I have put a picture of the boys with their mom and dad in the room where they stay when they visit. I've offered them nostalgic items (son's baby cup, pictures, etc.) but they won't take them. My husband has been somewhat helpful with cleaning/getting rid of things, but the mess doesn't bother him as much as it does me. As for the talk with the DIL, I wouldn't go out on the porch with her. I told her she could talk to me in the living room with my husband. We live on a very busy street in a small town. I don't want everyone seeing me on the porch having a discussion with her. Plus I wanted my husband to hear everything that was said so something didn't get twisted. I didn't say much. I refuse to fight. I just said it will take time. My heart was pounding and I was so afraid I would say something I would regret. All that was solved was that they expressed they didn't care if I cooked/ had room ready for them/ etc. (so I won't do it), and I told them that I wanted them to keep house picked up (If you get it out, put it back). So when they left they put everything back. When I cleaned today I noticed a window blind was broken and the rug had a huge pulled place and it ruined. They have been gone for three days and my husband is back to being the normal sweetheart that I married. He's very affectionate and acts like nothing happened. I suppose I may just have to come to the realization that a few weeks out of the year will be tense. I know they are coming for Christmas. I'm dreading the holidays. How should I let them know that I appreciate that they cleaned up after themselves? I'm upset about the rug/blind, but can't really bring myself to say anything. I want to spend the holidays with my husband, but don't see that possible. I fantasize about taking a Christmas trip to the beach/Disney to escape it all. Please give me more suggestions. I really appreciate it!