DD update for those who have helped me.

13 years ago

She is doing much, much better. Summer has given her a needed break.

She started whitewater kayaking and she and dad are really bonding. It is wonderful. She is changing up her sports and taking up volleyball this Fall in school. We discussed her grades and one issue for sure is that we will remove her from Band if she does not turn in her homework slips every week. She may get an A in class but the homework is part of class and her laziness will no longer be tollerated. We have spend many hours talking about her actions. I have been blunt and never thought I would have to be so graffic with my child but it is necessary.

So, the other day I gave her a decision to make. I told her she could chose the life that is full of bad decisions and live with the consequences, or she could decide that these negative actions and friends are not going to get her anywhere in life and any of the things she desires so much. I gave her one day to decide. All of the sudden at the end of the day, my girlfriend was visiting, she comes downstairs and shouts out that she wants the better life. I told her that this decision comes with a heavy amount of responsibility and that I would be there for her along the way. She said she knows it means she will basically have no social life. I assured her that it was just the opposite, she will have a huge social life, even better than before. But this time it will be full of only those who want to be with her, not abuse her.

My sis came to visit and noticed a huge change also. DD is more helpful at home, participating in family life and overall seems happier. She still has to be monitored and is aware that she is.

I really do appreciate all the feedback I received from all of you. No matter what was said, it takes a village to raise a child and so it is much appreciated.

I am just so happy to see her so happy, so herself.

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (13)

sweeby
13 years ago
What fabulous news Shannon!
I'll cross my fingers that the one big talk 'holds' ---
golddust
13 years ago
Hon, you are filled with good news tonight!! This is so great to hear!! Along with the end of chemo, I'd say you are batting a thousand, girl!

Have fun camping! ((Hugs))
Related Discussions
need help something is bugging me ! almost finished dd bath pics
Q
Comments (37)
I can't say that you're getting good advice on the sink issue until you answer another question or two...do you have a "real" master bath with two sinks? And did you cap off the plumbing but leave it accessable in your daughters bath? If you answered yes to both, leave the long counter. You don't have to plan for a family that does not live in your home and two sinks in a one person bathroom is rediculous (I've had it...it's awful). IF you capped off you can advertise it's ready for two sinks when you sell if you want, but don't cut a hole without knowing if it's necessary. If you don't have a real master bath you've probably made a mistake giving it to your daughter and you should plan on making a real one when you move...but again, why do it now? It's an easy fix later. Someone mentioned whispy or gauzie for the window. IMO it's absolutely necessary. If you put in a bamboo shade you've added some texture but it's still a hard texture and your bath is far too high on hard textures and way way low on soft textures and the beach is all about softness. White for your towels and mats...keep it easy and soft (again because it's missing) go fluffy on those mats...fun and fluffy. I wish I had a pic but in my condo appt I went with a color very near your color and loved it. One thing I did to soften the big mirror was to use a bunch of picture frames on the mirror painted in a shabby chic type of white. (does that make sense?) They were all cheap picture frames, but mostly bulky frames, with the pics removed and then I velcroed (double stick velcro in white) the frames to the mirror, with a big one over the sink and the balance scattered around. You'd be amazed how the harsh lines of the wall mirror disapear in the debth of the framed pieces. I am with most in that I don't like the lights, but their placement isn't the issue, it's the harshness of the fixtures themselves...but that's an easy fix if you soften up the rest of the room with texture. Fluffy white mats, towels, white frames on the mirror, a soft breezy gauzy window covering (which could be done over a grass cloth shade if you want more privacy) and some lovely counter accessories (candles and sand, grasses etc) would really make the room sing, and fix all of your issues (IMO) I'd consider doing the gauzy covering by tacking the gauze to a whispy piece of thin beach wood for the curtain rod, and then hot glue sea shells or sand dollars or star fish every five or six inches as if they were holding up the gauze... A collection of antique perfume spritzers would be a lovely accessory to bridge your tween into teen.
...See More
For those who asked, an update
Q
Comments (31)
parma & amysrq, Thanks for the quick responses. I did a Google search for the table and found a source located about 30 miles from me! Planning to take a ride over the weekend. That also gives me 3 days to continue my search for the best price. This will be a splurge for us as well. However, I've lived with my current DR table for well over 25 yrs. We purchased the furniture before we were married when furnishing our "new" home. At that time, we were focused on a large table to host holidays and dinner parties. We have definitely gotten our money's worth out of the table, hosting all of the holidays, birthdays and weekend dinner parties over the years. It has defintely served us well, but it is time for a change. Now I want something a bit more fitting with our current lifestyle. Our decor has changed quite a bit since we purchased our dining room furniture. I am looking to open up that particular space and the Val de Loire table is just perfect. Now on to the chairs... Also, I have there is a pic of the "painted" table online. I have to say that I like the ash as well as the cherry/mahogany finishes much better for our space.
...See More
Update on DD’s Stalker Problem
Q
Comments (18)
Thank you all, and thank you Dyhgarden. Yes, I agree. My heart hurts for him and his dibilitating head injury. But, he was former military, big, stocky, mid-thirties, and able to own and drive a car. So, in my mind (and others) it was possible that he could have harmed her. He didn’t. He abided the police order and I’m so thankful for that. I’ll keep him in my prayers for his recovery and a happy life, though.
...See More
DD Cv update, and they're gonna have a . . .
Q
Comments (29)
Well, sometimes you just have to take one day or one moment at a time, and TODAY is a good day with good news! Thanks for sharing it with us. Rejoicing here with you! Continued healing thoughts going out to you and your extended family!!
...See More
neetsiepie
13 years ago
You and your family have been on my mind a lot and I am sooo glad things are working out. Stay strong and keep encouraging her with her positive steps. She really needed to hear you and Dad had her back. So happy for you all.
mitchdesj
13 years ago
That is amazing news, I think the fact that you changed the way you deal with her provoked her to change also, she's a smart girl.
CaroleOH
13 years ago
I'm glad to hear things are going better with your daughter Shannon. It sounds like she's gotten her head back in the game.

Just be cautious as school starts back up as I'm a firm believer in every kid is inherently good, it's just the company they choose to keep that tends to push them to the dark side! :-) Hopefully, she'll make some new friends on the volleyball team and will realize those boys and girls she was hanging with last spring are going nowhere fast and were taking her down with them.
deedee-2008
13 years ago
That's terrific for you and your family. I never commented on your first thread since I didn't feel I had any answers, but I have been "pulling" for you and your DD. As a mom to a "strong-willed" daughter, I know it's not as easy/black & white as some think. Yay for you!!!
theroselvr
13 years ago
Shannon, how old is she?
I did a search to see if I could find the old post but apparently it disappeared.
tinam61
13 years ago
I am glad to hear things are better - both with your daughter and with your health. Hoping you all enjoy a good rest-of-the-summer!

tina
Shannon01
Original Author
13 years ago
roselvr- The original post may have got lost. She is 13 and going into 8th grade. We have major/serious issue with boys. Her pursuing any boy that takes interest in her, especially for the wrong reasons. Etc.

caroleoh- Yes, the friend situation is constantly being monitored. Luckily I am still off work for a while and she and I are working TOGETHER on her choices.
theroselvr
13 years ago
That's such a hard age; especially with your health problems. That's how old my girl was when we had a lot of bad things happen in our family. Hopefully you can get her straightened out.

~Hugs
Shannon01
Original Author
13 years ago
Great news. We had block party. Neighbor boy is back to visit. There were probably 7 boys and just my dd. The other kids were all really little. We had two bounce houses and a water bounce thingy. DD came to me to show me how she was going to dress for day, very appropriate and she was conscience of doing that. Later she changed to wear her bikini but kept shorts and a tank over it the entire day even though some older girls walked around with shorts and nothing covering their bikini tops. DD chose to sit with the moms when they guys started playing with water soakers. I told her she should go play too because they are all friends playing. She though she should not but did when I told her it was ok because that was what we were there for. We also let her invite two friends, specific friends we knew would not cause any drama,etc. They all had fun and interacted with themselves more than with the boys.

The girls spend the night and allowed me to take all phones away. I snuck them back in the bedroom this morning so they will wake to find them. I also checked after they went to bed to make sure they were sleeping and all was fine.

It was a great day for all of us. My dh even commented on how she has improved so much since he got her into kayaking. He is really happy and they are both excited to hit the river together.

She even got an email from a boy and she told him she did not need his drama and to not bother her.

Baby steps, baby steps.
ttodd
13 years ago
I am so, so happy to hear this! Huge hugs!
golddust
13 years ago
This is great progress. What river are they kayaking in? I love my kayak!

DD update for those who have helped me.

Comments (13)

sweeby

golddust

Related Discussions

neetsiepie

mitchdesj

CaroleOH

deedee-2008

theroselvr

tinam61

Shannon01
Original Author

theroselvr

Shannon01
Original Author

ttodd

golddust

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

DD update for those who have helped me.

Comments (13)

Related Discussions

Shannon01Original Author

Shannon01Original Author

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

Shannon01
Original Author

Shannon01
Original Author