Sounds like your son has been through a lot in the last few years. Does he have a physician with whom he feels comfortable?

I had one panic attack - the day after major surgery while still in the hospital. It was awful - I didn't feel that I might die, I felt like I was dying. I cannot imagine experiencing that again. I was given lorazapam (short-term - just for the day). I was stressed that it might happen again in a less supportive environment.

If your son is having full-blown panic attacks, take his description of it seriously. I am a very rational & logical person and I truly felt that I was passing over to the other side.

My eldest DD suffers from anxiety disorder and is prone to panic attacks. Interestingly enough, she's majored in psychology so she's pretty good at realizing what they're about. She has to take Celexa, or else she gets really bad with them. When she becomes overwhelmed or stressed out, she'll go into a full blown attack and has to take the lorazapam. Right now they have her on something different, but she knows that she absolutely cannot manage them without medication.

Your son's symptoms sound like he's having panic 'attacks'. DD hates calling them attacks, she calls them episodes. His body is literally going into fight or flight mode.

Definitely have your DS talk with a medical professional to get a diagnosis. Maybe being on a mild anti-depressant/anti-anxiety med (like Celexa) will be helpful. Help him to know that this is a REAL disorder that is chemically based and cannot be something you can talk yourself out of. It's nothing to be ashamed of, either. It happens, like some people who break out into hives at times...there is nothing wrong with them, it's just their body reacting to an overload of chemicals from the brain.

Behavior Modification Therapy can really help - so can anti-anxiety medication. But he needs to consult with some one in the medical profession. My DD has battled this off and on for years and as a parent it's so painful because you want to help.

I think it's great that your son knows he can reach out to you and your husband and you both "get it". So many parents miss the signs that their kids need help and the kids have an even rougher time coping with the issues they face. Just because a child turns 18 doesn't mean he's ready for the world and there's nothing wrong with providing the added support he needs when he's doing his best to make it.

My husband suffers from an occasional panic attack. He doesn't handle change or stress very well and sometimes it gets the best of him. For him, it feels like he's having a heart attack which scared the bejeepers out of both of us. We've been to doctors and cardiologists. He's had all the tests and the conclusion was the same by everyone, it's anxiety. My husband was not thrilled with the idea of taking a daily medication but talking about what is stressing him does help him to cope. So every night when we're walking, he will talk about any issues he's facing that may be causing him to feel anxious. Since we started doing that about 9 mos ago, he hasn't had an attack. For him, I think it was more about his personality type and keeping things internal more than a chemical imbalance.

A diagnosis and direction from a profession will absolutely help, but until you can get to that point, I would keep reassuring your son that if he needs to talk it's okay and you're there for him.

I had a bout with panic attacks twice in my life and I never, ever want to go through that again. I had them the first time when I was a senior in high school and a freshman in college. My doctor prescribed little pink pills back then which was probably a mild tranquilizer and I was able to break the pattern that happens with panic attacks. About 10 years ago they started up again with a vengeance. I don't know if stress or a hormone imbalance from perimenopause brought them on initially, but they wouldn't let up. My MD prescribed Klonopin which is like Xanax but not as habit forming. That masked the symptoms but didn't cure me. It wasn't until I went to a psychiatrist and was put on an SSRI ( selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor)that did the trick and I haven't had anxiety or a panic attack since.

The psychiatrist said it was a chemical imbalance due to a lack of serotonin. He said the panic attacks were a lot like an epileptic seizure and one attack can leave to another and another as your brain gets used to firing one attack after another. Therefore the attacks become more frequent. The SSRI breaks that chain of events.

An SSRI is an antidepressant that takes a few weeks to build up in your system before you see any results. When the attacks stopped, I gradually weaned myself off the Klonopin so I wouldn't have any side effects.

I really encourage your son to see a doctor because there is help out there and he doesn't have to live with this. It's debilitating, shatters your self confidence and effects your social life. It's just an awful way to live. His doctor may prescribe a tranquilizer like Klonopin or Xanax to take along with an SSRI until it kicks in. Xanax can be habit forming so you have to be careful with that one. Just be sure to taper off gradually from either one and there shouldn't be a problem.

Cognitive therapy is another option, but I was too miserable to deal with that. The Zoloft worked fine for me.
I'm on a low dose and can take it learn term with no side effects. I'm sure your son will be fine if he sees a doctor, and damn glad afterward that he did. Keep us posted.

A few years ago I decided not to write any more about my experience with panic/anxiety disorder due to the public nature of the Net, but your son's experience is just too important to keep silent. Your son is so fortunate to have understanding parents who want to help him! He needs to know that you are there for him, and are willing to listen to and believe him when he describes what's happened.

Pesky wrote that her DD's body is going into fight or flight mode. This is literally true. The reaction comes from the limbic system, the most primitive part in the brain; it occurs virtually instantaneously and is almost impossible to control. Usually it's appropriate, but in some of us it takes off for reasons hard to fathom.

Chickadee wrote "It's debilitating, shatters your self-confidence and affects your social life. It's just an awful way to live." Yes yes yes.

My panic/anxiety attacks began in the mid-seventies, also with driving. Eventually I could only drive neighborhood side streets for errands, but regular busy city streets, interstates, and mountain driving were impossible. I would also get huge attacks in class (graduate school) and social situations that would seem quite innocuous to you. I lived in fear if I was outside my home. Thirty-five years later I still have panic/anxiety, but it's very much reduced and under control, I've had a full and happy life, but have also had superior medical care/supervision.

I urge you to have your son seen by a medical doctor as soon as possible. The ideal would be a psychiatrist referred by a doc who knows your boy and understands his complex background. The reason a psychiatrist is a great choice is because they tend to be good pharmacologists and know the effects of medications upon various personality issues, and also of one med upon another. They will also know the problems caused by certain anti-depressants, etc., on teen-agers and young people, and which treatments to avoid. The longer it takes a person to get medical help, the more intense will be the reaction to those situations that trigger an episode. I first turned to my GP, a wonderful doc, but who unfortunately sent me to a psychiatric social worker who had zero knowledge of meds and got me off on the wrong track for coping. Finally found a fine psychiatrist with a tremendous knowledge of meds. He didn't take me down the path of was I weaned or potty-trained too soon, did daddy yell at me, etc., etc., ( lol ), but instead listened to my real life as an adult and knew what to prescribe. I now take Cymbalta, backed up by 1/4 (one-quarter) milligram of xanax occasionally, and life is good.

Dlm - I so feel for your boy and I do hope that a solution will soon be found for him. Back in the days when I had my fear of driving, if I'd had to drive 3 hours in the Denver area, I would not have been able to do it! Love up your son a lot, and good luck! And BTW, what I wrote about myself does not at all mean that any young person is going to have this syndrome permanently. It could just be a bad short-term bump in the road.

Sable

Deb:
Like sable_ca, I feel I have to detail my own experience because having anxiety attacks is not a fun way to live, and can escale to the point of seriously affecting one's quality of life.

Mine began suddenly when I was in my mid-20's. DH had just begun a new job with a rotating shift schedule, leaving me alone with my 2-year old son frequently when he worked 2nd and 3rd shift. My beloved childhood dog had just died, DH had accidently killed our neighbor's dog in our shared driveway, and we had just purchased our first home.

I still remember the first attack. I was reading a magazine article about heart attacks when my heart started to palpitate, my breathing became rapid and my arm began feeling numb. At one point, I made DH drive me to the hospital, while I cried and pleaded with him to hurry and begged him not to let my son forget me; I was that convinced I was dying. When we arrived, they put me in a room and told me to breathe into a paper sack. I thought they were crazy and were actually going to let me die while they ignored me! Thus began numerous trips to the doctor, with me trying to convince him there was something terribly wrong with me or my heart and the doctor patiently explaining to my 25-year-old self that I was NOT dying. It was the worst at night when I'd feel my heart beating and fear I'd die in my sleep.

Driving never became a problem for me, though I was terrified of going over bridges in the rain, and once made my brother drive me 35 miles home from work because it was raining, and I had to cross a bridge.

With my persistence, the doctor eventually prescribed a very low dose of a tranquilizer, just for bedtime, and after 6 months, I was able to admit to myself it was all in my mind.

I've never had a problem since, and don't really know why I had the experience I did. I think it was too much life coming at me and my own feelings of lack of control over my life.

Sable offers great advice. I often think if the doctor had not finally helped me with medication, my world may have gradually shrunk until I was unable to leave home.

Hopefully, with help, your DS will quickly gain control over his anixieties.
Dee

I don't have panic attacks, but I work in health care - NOT as a clinical provider (no clinical knowledge at all!) but have worked on projects in this area. I'd suggest going to a primary care provider - they'd either to the diagnosis or refer to someone who could. Since your son also has ADHD and learning disabilities, it is best if his doctor can treat him with all his diagnosis. Therapy works for some, medication works for others, or it could be a combination of both. He'd have to work with the professional to see what the best treatment plan for him is. Good luck! And I am glad he reaches out to you! Having a great support system helps!

Oh my! You have no idea how much all of your responses mean to me. The net IS a big scary place and there's always a risk putting out information but I know from personal experience there is a lot of heart out there, too, and you've all proven that again.

I spent an hour on the phone with our son tonight. His internet connection wasn't working so the video chat face to face didn't happen. But in hindsight, he may not have revealed as much if he was on camera - things happen for a reason, sometimes.

I don't even know where to start. He covered so much ground tonight. In is words, part of his anxiety is related to leaving his safety net and support system. It's the driving away from home or the anticipation of driving away because he starts getting agitated just in the preparation. He shares a house with 2 friends and has come to realize they are his comfort zone. But in addition, he took some driving trips with one of those friends last summer to visit the 3rd roommate at his parent's home - my son would wake from napping in the passenger seat, disoriented, heart racing, feeling trapped and would tell his friend to pull over where he'd sit on the side of the road till it passed. This was the first I'd heard of it.

He also talked a lot about this program he's in now - they had them take the Mcats first thing after their orientation - no studying, no prep - of course no one felt confident about it. That night the head of the program told them she wouldn't be their mommy and praise them, they had all done poorly and would have to improve - they will be taking the test 2 - 3 more times in the 4 weeks. This is supposed to encourage kids to go to med school??? He's unhappy, not sleeping well, but it's only day 2, so too soon to know if he should fish or cut bait.

The other issue that he talked about is feeling guilty - for appearing ungrateful for all that we do for him, for having made poor choices that cost us emotionally and financially, for "being a bad son". His words. He was crying, I was crying and trying to reassure him that we've done all we've done because of how much we love him. The only goal has always been that he have a life where he wakes up happy to be in his own skin and happy to be doing whatever he's chosen to do. He said he's unsure where his true home is. I told him he always has a home where we are but that he's also made a wonderful home where is is at school. He's 1200 miles away in a college town that you can't get to from here(!) so trips home the past few years have been few and far between but we were just there in May, he and my DH went skiing in March and we had 2 weeks altogether with our other son at xmas.

I want to address each of you and the specific suggestions you made but I'm exhausted so it will have to wait. Not sure what we'll do next. We can bring him home here or he can work with a doctor in CO which I think is probably a better choice since that's where he'll be living for the next year. But I'll follow his lead in the short term and see how he handles this medical program, if he decides to stay or not. I'm kind of on overload at the moment - please forgive the long and rambling post.

Is this the university program that guarantees admittance to their medical school if the students meet all the requirements of the program? If it is, it sounds like they're trying to beef up their MCAT scores so it won't effect their school's numbers when they publish the average MCAT score of their accepted students. Or else they're putting pressure on to weed out the students in a backhanded way. My son-in-law just graduated from Med school in May and there are less stressful ways to prepare for the MCATS to be sure. I'd hate to see this turn him against a career in medicine.

Yes, the problem with the safety net or comfort zone is that it tends to get smaller and smaller if the anxiety and panic attacks are left untreated and allowed to multiply. That's what leads to agoraphobia in some people.

Your son sounds like a wonderful young man, and while his openness might stress you, I know you must be happy that he is willing to share this with you. It's actually a very healthy thing for him to do.

One last word of advice - tell him to go easy or lay off caffeine until he gets treatment. It just makes you hyper and more prone to a panic attack when your sensory radar is aroused.

When my son graduated from college and became an Engineer, got his first apartment (only 30 min. away) while his fiancee' was still in school, he told me a year later that he suffered from severe panic attacks during that time, before he married. We talked every day, saw each other often, but he would just go to work and home.

Then they disappeared. It was obviously the stress of beginning a new life as an "adult."

However, your son is the ripe age for other mental disorders to show up. I said before, a good friend of mine is bipolar, she was completely normal until college.

Panic attacks began, more odd behavior, and she went to a psychiatrist who helped her out.

Later she found out (and it's on the Net also) that many mental disorders..even anxiety attacks, begin in the early 20s.

This is another reason so many kids that age get into drugs, they're self-medicating because they know something is wrong.

I'm not saying your son is into drugs, but just giving you an idea of how this effects kids in their early 20s.

This is why it's very important he go to a psychiatrist.

I suffer from mild anxiety attacks, a couple of times a week I take a half a xanax during the day. A whole xanax would knock me out. No side effects except being calm, and it stops my racing heart and being short of breath, which is miserable!

Mine began out of the blue a few years ago. Strange.

It is great that you have such an open relationship with your son where he is able to talk with you. I think you have been given some good advice here. I do agree it is important first for your son to see a medical doctor, then perhaps a psychiatrist or even some type counselor. I realize he may initially need medication, but hopefully he will find a professional who will get to the root of the problem (what's causing the attacks) to where he can overcome the whole problem. I personally prefer that approach to just "medicating" which is sometimes like a band-aid. As some people have mentioned, drugs like Xanan are habit forming and you certainly don't want that. Of course, it is possible that he needs long term medication, sometimes it is the only solution. Panic attacks don't just "happen", there is some underlying reason.

Good luck to you and your son. You have crossed the first hurdle, now on to treatment/solution. Keep us posted!!

Tina, how do you know that panic attacks "don't just happen?" Are you a Psychiatrist?

So you're telling me when I'm thoroughly engrossed in a book and my heart starts racing and I become short of breath, there is a reason for it?

I don't have panic attacks, I have anxiety attacks. I think anxiety attacks are milder.

Oakley - give it a rest. My comments were directed to the OP. I believe there is a REASON people have the attacks as others discussed here. My point was - get to the underlying cause rather than a life of medicine - if possible. Nuff said.

Hey Deb, no advice here....just hugs. You are a great Mom. Your son is so lucky. I have a dear friend who is a member of the Psychiatry department at Hopkins, and had a private practice treating your son's age group for years. If you'd like to be in touch with her, just let me know.

Dlm has a genuine problem with her son. IMO this thread should address that issue rather than arguing about REASONS and "underlying causes" as opposed to "meds". I will start another thread in which we can debate the entire subject, or not, but I think that Dlm should be able to regard this thread as support for her and her boy instead of a source for arguing and confusion.

Potential resources for you and your son - NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). They have support groups etc too. But it's probably best to get a diagnosis first so that the appropriate treatment is followed.

Here is a link that might be useful: NAMI resources in CO

As evidenced from this thread the internet is not the best place for advice.

While recounting our personal stories (or not), it seems everyone recommended he seek professional advice. Dlm2000 asked if we could talk about the topic so we shared our experiences and what helped us. There are a lot of options out there, and it's good to know about them if the initial course of treatment doesn't work.

Busy, busy days so I couldn't get here for an update - better late than never, right?

What a difference 24 hours can make. For starters, Ross seems to have gotten a much better night's sleep (no racing thoughts) and that alone will start a day with a better perspective. He texted me first thing Friday to say that he's put a lot of things together in his mind and has a better understanding of why he 'crashed' and feels more in control, at least in the context of the program he's in. Two days ago he wanted to bail but last night he felt empowered to stay, glean what he can, and let go of feeling inadequate for the program - most of the students are feeling the same way.

We've spoken a few times since but between his 18 hour days and the time difference, we don't have a chance to get into long conversations. He sounds so much better, though and I can breathe a bit again.

He's coming home the day after the program ends, will have a week here with us and his cousins/my nieces and their kids. It's an interesting dynamic because there's a 1/2 step generation difference - my nieces are like my little sisters and his older sisters at the same time. I've been speaking with my middle niece who has dealt with anxiety issues and she will be great council for Ross.

He has really isolated himself at college by choosing the location he did and much as he loves the place, the mountains, the snowboarding, it seems he is feeling the distance as he comes to the end of his college years. And I really think the state of the world, economy and job market are weighing heavily on him. It's damn scary to think about having to launch yourself at this time - I feel so sorry for all of our kids! But coming home will let him see what a large and varied support system he has - just wish his brother could be here also.

We'll be doing some research to find a good medical fit for him at school. He has a horrendous fall schedule between classes, labs and research so I know going in he's going resist carving out time for regular sessions if that's needed. With his background, he's been 'therapied' up one side and down the other but maybe he's ready to approach it from the standpoint of an adult in control of the choices as opposed to a child being directed by mom and dad.

I appreciate every perspective given here and don't want anyone to think their words were misplaced. In my mind, any information is good information and it's always in my power to sift through and use what fits. Or not. I think the internet can be a great place for advice but it's only a first step, nothing more - no expectations for instant cures.

Chickadee I don't know the program you're referring to but there are no guarantees with this one so doesn't seem to be the same.

Again, way too long! Thank you all for your comments and support. When I know more, you'll know more.

The only time in my life I experienced anxiety was when we moved to Denver,
it was a stressful time for me to begin with but it was exacerbated by the high altitude, mile high in Denver, I never adjusted to it. DH was not bothered by high altitude at all. I actually called 911 one morning , I felt like I was about to have a heart attack, could not catch my breath, could not calm down, heart racing, etc... Symptoms could last for hours.

I'm glad to hear your son is adjusting, best of luck for the future.

Dlm: I'm glad to read that your son is working his way through his struggles. What wonderful parents you are, and he sounds like a terrific son!

If I may throw a few ideas out there? Moving away to college is a scary, new thing! Legally, you are an adult, but it's his first time away from the environment he has spent the vast majority of his life in and is suddenly expected to know all of the answers and to juggle a new living area, roommates, travel time, classes, and more! It's normal to feel anxiety over this. When it becomes difficult to be able to function, it's time to ask for help. Which is exactly what he did...he reached out to you! Hard as that may be, that's awesome!! You rock as a parent!

If I may preface this--I work with college students and have a background in Mental Health/Human Services (NOT that either of those make me an authority at all, but rather, perhaps a few insights that could be helpful?) A study several years ago said that freshman in college rank as some of the loneliest people in the world. Interesting, right? But when you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. Having a support network at school is huge. Religious or not, many colleges have campus ministry centers, which are open to all students. Is this something that may be an option for him? A place to feel accepted and supported?

Have you suggested to him to make an appointment with a counselor on campus? This would be a good first step, since he is far away from home and his medical doctor at home. A counselor, at the very least, can evaluate where he is and what his needs are at this time. If they feel he needs more than they can handle, a good counselor will refer him elsewhere. I won't go into info on meds, as that is between him and his physician.

Encourage him to find a group of supportive friends if he doesn't have them. Make sure that he knows he can call you whenever he needs something or is feeling low. It sounds like the line of communication are wide open, which is great!

Your son sounds like such a kind, caring, hardworking, sensitive man. Given those qualities, it makes sense that he has some of the struggles that are going on. He wants to do well, wants to make you both proud. It sounds like he's now also realizing just how fortunate he is to have such a great family and wants to live up to the life you've given him.

You've given him good, solid advice thus far and are doing a great job in helping him to gap that transition period. I'll be thinking of you and keep you all in my prayers as well, for his continued health and peace of mind. Take care!

I second Mitchdesj's mention of the altitude in Denver.

I have lived at really highy altitudes (Peru and Colombia) so I am no stranger to what in LA is called soroche, or altitude sickness.

But in my early twenties after years of living in New England I drove crosscountry to Denver. It wasn't a particularly stressful trip as I was just accompanying a friend on his way to grad school. But when we arrived in Denver I didn't feel well, and then felt worse and worse over the next day or so. Not feverish ill, as if a cold or flu was coming on, just profoundly, disturbingly not OK: sweaty, shakey, palpitations, anxiety, nauseated, air-hunger (which should have tipped me off!), dull headache that never let up, and overall just really punky. I was very worried that it was some major illness. I was so eager to get home, I left a day early and before I had landed at JFK, I was completely cured!

Apparently even though it takes a day and half to drive across Kansas and up to Denver, I had a simple case of altitude sickness. Up to that point I associated soroche with the sudden arrival at high altitude via airplanes. If I had realized what was wrong, and stayed longer, I probably would have adjusted just fine.

Perhaps your son has also been affected by the altitude, in combination with the stress of starting the new program, etc., If so, by now he should be feeling better, at least physiologically!

I do hope so.
L.

High altitude in CO takes up to 9 mos (doctor info) for the blood to adjust oxygen levels. This alone could cause a number of issues. I live here and never thought about the impact this could make upon others. Although one should not discount other possiblities.

Am on the same page as your son. The beginning of this was from a major family crisis which at the time I believed could be managed. Yes on medication, hate it, but was not able to focus for interaction. Yes on counseling, she is wonderful and gotten me through more than ever expected. With both she also has a number of physical options to use.

I hate going to stores and will avoid at all costs. She gave me a simple list of things to try and they do work. I think they are more of a process to take attention away from the environment. A smooth stone in pocket to hold within my tightened fist, very strong menthol drops and very sour candy...when my environment begins to close in. Worth a try.

There is also a program which has been used for PTSD(Combat Fatigue). It is called EMDR and worked for me. Perhaps because I am very visual. I don't know how it does, but combined with the right counselor it can direct one on the right road and you learn things about yourself not thought of. This is not the same as lost memories, it is dealing with known issues.

Just some food for thought. The pain of exposure to public is miserable and can be dealt with in many ways. It is not something I talk about and took me from the day you posted to get the strength to respond. I hope you find a comfortable environment for your son to work with this.

Below is a link to a book on EMDR for some reference.

Here is a link that might be useful: EMDR

I appreciate the suggestions regarding altitude but in this case, that's not the issue. The school Ross attends is the highest altitude college in the country - about 2500 ft higher than Denver. He's been living there full time (summer jobs) for 4 years so he's plenty acclimated!

mpmg - very kind words - I so appreciate it. His school is small which is great in some aspects but limited in others. The town is small, also, but I'm hopeful we'll find medical help that is a good fit for him. It's tough at such a distance but he had a wonderful surgeon for 2 (yes 2!! snowboarding, of course) knees surgeries there so I will use her as a resource for suggestions.

emagineer I am so sorry you deal with this to such an extent and appreciate your willingness to share. I will look into the EMDR. Have also heard about heartmath. My neice was initially diagnosed with PTSD but she never felt it "fit" her and the treatment did not work with her life as a mother of 2 young kids so she moved on to another doctor. Finding a fit of medications, therapies, professionals is not an easy proposition.

At the moment it's hard for me to imagine what he'll utilize. I spoke with him again last night and he's as happy as I've ever heard him, getting ready for a job shadowing today with a cardiac physiologist. Other than the weather - lots of storms in Denver recently and he is not used to the humidity - he's done a complete 180 about the program. The subject of his anxiety and panic attacks has not come up for a few days. I'm hanging back to see how and if he talks about it.

Hi dlm, no advice but I'm glad to hear he's doing better. He's lucky to have such a caring mom.