True, there is a lot of info on the internet. I feel however that it does not really apply to me. Take my bifocals for instance. I could not live without them, need them for the computer, the newspaper, books, driving, etc, etc. Would not have passed my driver's lic exam without them. They are an absolute must and I have a good pair. There is a Vision center in Long Beach, fairly well known, where you can get a set of bifocals for $160. All inclusive, exam, glasses and all. That's about as much as the copay and 20% of that useless insurance I have. I was hoping of finding something like that for hearing aids but it does not seem to exist. My hearing loss is a different matter. People that know me, family and friends, know that they need to speak little louder, I know I must face them with my good ear. Radio and TV are no problem I just turn them up, since my biological rhythm calls for me to be unconscious by 10:PM, I don't think that bothers anyone. Phone also has a volume adjustment. I don't attend any important meetings. Since the average age at orchid societies hovers around 80, sound amplification is usually more than adequate. This truly is a nuisance, nothing more, I may just do nothing or throw a few hundred dollars at a cheap sound amplifier. Let's see what turns up south of the border. Nick PS We actually do have a lot of young active members but certainly a good selection of silverbacks most of them hard of hearing like myself.

I think an update is in order ...long overdue. Thank you for your well wishes rose friends :-) I am doing so well weight wise - have lost 110 pounds and I am getting in better shape every month, by running, biking, swimming and weight training. I have had no complications from the surgery what so ever (Yet?) - I take my vitamin supplements and I eat very healthy - smaller portions than before. I just do not tolerate sugar - it makes me really sick (metabolic dumping syndrome - heart races - I sweat and get nausea - so I stay clear of foods with too much sugar). But loosing weight has also made me regain myself or discower new sides of myself. I have had to work hard on healing years of sexual and physical abuse as a boy - since I have become more in touch with my feelings - my core self - and it has been rough and not always pretty as roses in may. I was assaulted and it retraumatized me and gave me anxiety problems and the court case was tiresome ...to have him sent to jail. For a while I coped by drinking way too much - so I had to bite the dust and admit - that I had to quit drinking - that it was no way to cope with emotions running up and down ... it has taken and still take some therapy ...but I feel better and stronger and more grounded. I am looking for a bigger house ... so I am in between gardens - At least I will be able to keep my rented allotment gardens I use for cutting roses, propagation and veggies/herbs. It is spring so I work my butt off preparing the soil, building raised beds - but it is nice. Most new roses I buy this year I will grow in pots - so I can take them with me to the new house and garden (When I find one I can afford) and I hope that the garden will not be too shaded ...since it will limit the number of roses I can grow. I really look forward to the spring flush - 8 weeks and the roses will start blooming and 10 weeks - peak bloom! Ahh ... (hope the weather behaves the 3-4 weeks they peak!). I do the last pruning and weed these days ... I have not blogged about roses and gardening ... I have had to prioritize and work on the issues I mentioned. Roselvr: Yes - it is important to find a good surgeon that specializes in WLS surgery. And yes there is a risk of complications - but the chances of of improwing life quality is much better - and far out-weighs the risk of complications - most of which can be managed. But all surgery has risks of complications ... Doug - How blessed I was - to be able to meet you in Iowa. I often think of you and your wife and hope you are doing well - and that your rabbits do not eat all your roses. Hugs! Ingrid: If you have read this far - you probably understand why I have not posted much - but just read and lurked here on the forums the last year. The reason you have not seen pictures of me as a big guy - was that I was very good at avoiding camera lenses :-) I will post a before and after picture - this summer. Alida - Sure I remember you! I hope you and Gerbe are doing well - even though I must say that rose does not repeat well - I still love the scent of the flowers.

It has been over two years since this post was written. Here is a quick update. We tried two assisted living facilities, we did a nursing home, we did three group homes, and during this time she's had a big hospitalization, so there was the acute care and a rehab hospital. We hired four different in-home aides to help. One ripped us off for about 40 thousand dollars. You read that right. Forty Grand. She'd take my MIL to the hairdressers or out to lunch, only she was stopping at the bank for my MIL and would take a few thousand each trip. She cleaned my MIL out from her savings. And, she took some antique linens, some jewelry from my MIL and me. She took some Polish Pottery from my china cabinet, and basically, had a field day at our expense. (Yes, there are police reports. Only no prosecutions as my MIL is the primary witness and she is useless and the aide swears that it was all given to her as gifts.) One aide was horrible and we canned her after two weeks of paying her to sit and drink coffee and do nothing, the other two were okay, but not worth the money or time. As soon as my MIL would say she didn't want a shower or whatever, they felt compelled to honor her patient rights. The facilities, to a last one all failed. My MIL was a horrible fit for each one and ended up turning me into the state, the county, and to adult protective services for abuse. I have had five intense and complete investigations due to my MIL's claims (proven to be lies after investigations.. oh gee, she'd lie?? I call her "The Patron Saint of All Holy Liars), and all of them proved my MIL has progressive dementia and that not only am I not abusive to her (or anyone), but that I am the standard bearer or the gold standard of in-home care giving and wouldn't it be great if everyone was as good as I am. Yea, why doesn't everyone give up their lives for the demented aims of the demented. So, my MIL is still here. The granddaughter is going to be 4 years old soon. I spend as much time as I can with our granddaughter and make every effort to make the basic care for my MIL but to stay away from her as much as possible. My MIL is worse than she was, but is stable and healthy here. She is quite happy to see her son everyday and she gets on the telephone with her friends and goes on and on about what a horrible woman I am. I don't cry as much, I don't complain as much, and I don't lash out for a life much anymore. I have come to accept that I am worthless and will have to either wait until she finally dies or I get the balls up myself to walk out on my husband and kiss this dream good bye. Because.. this dream is a nightmare. Oh yea, a couple of her friends have come here to rescue her from me. They believed her stories. One even came with her adult daughter my age and a traveling caregiver to help with the transfer to take my MIL with them and out of my evil clutches. When they saw the truth, they were shocked and ashamed. And, they LEFT HER! I would have been thrilled to have had them take her! But, they said they wouldn't be able to give her the care she needs.. BS! They saw what a wicked old crone she was and didn't want her in their lives. We've never heard from them again!! So, two years down the road and my life is as bad, if not worse. She's either not fit or been kicked out of every facility we've tried. I could tell you the graphic accounts, but trust me on this.. you don't want to have to read it. It is hard to find any happiness in life at all. And, I know that she is going to be here until I die. Not her.. me. And, my death is something I look forward to now. Amazing how much life can change in two years..

My husband will turn 65 in December. He just signed up for Secure Horizons, which sounds like it will cover just about everything Medicare doesn't, almost too good to be true, but worth a try to check into for you. Good luck.