That is a gorgeous piece of furniture, demicent. It is probably about 100 years old and looks to be in very good condition. When I was a teenager, I had a reproduction of a very old Sears catalog, which showed furniture from the turn of the last century, and this piece looks like it's right out of that era. I can assure you that your grandmother would want you to be content with your surroundings, and she above all else knows that at some point we part with all of our possessions. So... If I was in your position, I would contact an antique dealer who would at least look at the picture and tell you what the piece might be worth. There are a lot of people who would love to have that curio cabinet/secretary. It really is a family treasure. I need to sign off for now because my DH needs the computer. Just don't give that piece away. It's worth something. Perhaps you can post this picture on the Furniture Forum for further advice.

You talk a lot about your fond memories of your grandparents elicited by that piece. Would any of your children like to have it ? Can you just store it in the basement while you put out a broadcast to your family for any takers ? As long as it's been in your family maybe it's worth the effort to keep it there longer but without it being a burden on you. I can appreciate wanted to jettison stuff.

I have a question, deciment. Can you paint/glaze this piece to match your current design/color scheme? Also, save those beautiful doilies for giving out later. When my husbands grandmother gave me a pile of cheap, but old thimbles, I treasured them and gave them to my girls because they belonged to that great lady. They are at least 50 years old and probably not worth a dime.

Thanks for the good ideas...I never noticed there was a furniture forum here!

Unfortunately none of the other extended family members are interested.

Cup, thanks for the reminder that my Grandma wouldn't want me to feel an obligation to keep the cabinet forever. I guess I'm just kind of sentimental about certain material things. When I was a kid my folks burned our old gray sofa and I cried like my best friend had died.

If you don't want it and no one else in your family wants it, sell it. Sounds very un-sentimental I know, but I bet your grandma would be happier if you sold it and put the proceeds toward your kitchen remodel than if you hung onto it even though you don't really want it. Think of it this way, someone out there would LOVE to have that piece. It's not as if you were going to throw it in the trash heep. Personally I'd rather my old stuff go to "good homes" where someone wants them, than to have my kids or other relatives keep things of mine they don't like simply out of a feeling of obligation. I realize there's more than obligation in your case, there's also sentimentality. But again, remember, that the best fate for an old piece like this is to have an owner that loves it and wants it. There's someone out there who can fill that role.

demicent, very interesting subject. I have a few family pieces that are not my taste. Many things I have given to nieces/nephews and I am very comfortable and love doing that but I simply can not sell anything. I don't know what is wrong with my thinking but I can't stand the thought of making money on anything that came from family so now I sit with a few pieces and don't know what to do. I do like the responses you received.

Eh...I have a whole OTHER set of family "treasures" from my parents. When my folks moved from Hawaii back to the mainland, Mom couldn't bear to let go of some of her furnishings for pennies on the dollar and she offered them to me for "free". It cost me several thousand dollars to have them shipped to Illinois. My husband was not at all happy.

When my Dad passed away my Mom was naturally having a very hard time parting with a lifelong collection of items as she downsized into a senior apartment.

I found it was just easier to graciously take boxloads of donations and store them in my home rather than struggle to get her to part with anything. When my Mom passes it will be a difficult thing to sort through those treasures too.

Even my DH's family gives me things they can't bear to see leave the family. They know I'm a soft touch.

Oh Demi, you are my kindred spirit. I relate so well to your tears over that sofa. That being said, I have had to force myself to let items leave my capable hands. I felt as though it was my duty to keep the items left behind by my entire deceased family. I have items from three aunts, a mother and father, a first cousin and a sister. Did I mention that my aunts saved everything that shined? Sigh. I had quite a collection of very well cared for and loved antiques. I have managed to give a few things away, but I still do not have the ability to rid myself of the bulk of it. This situation is not like yours. You have one lovely item, that I am sure will find someone to care and love it. Me? Well, my situation requires purging and I know it. This summer for sure. All of these keepsakes are not the memories of my husband and sons and it is unfair to make them live buried by some of these things. Heck, some of it I don't even remember seeing at my relatives' houses! Like you, everyone knew that I was the sentimentalist and kept giving me stuff. We both need to be selective. Let's repeat the mantra: You can't keep everything. As I said, this summer for sure.

demicent --

You have a beautiful antique and I empathize with your dilemna.

I'm a recipient of old family things, too. For years (in my 30's), I didn't really want them. Now, I'm glad that I have them (in my 50's). I've come to appreciate the items as useful pieces of furniture even though I had "stuck" them in odd places in the past.

My mom passed away when she was 51 and my dad at 65. Now that I'm 53, I'm glad to have her cherished china cabinet, her rickety tea cart, her common washstand and her English ironstone collection, which I've started expanding. I took my grandfather's plain old bookcase and decided to make a special place for it when I built this house. It's in my kitchen, housing all of my cookbooks.

There were other pieces that I didn't want and I gave them away, sold some others, etc. In other words, make sure you really want to part with the piece before you do so and act accordingly.

I don't think you should feel badly about not wanting to keep the secretary any longer. I've bought several pieces of furniture and jewelry from people that felt the same as you did. Even though these items are now mine, I really don't feel like I own them, I am just caring for them, until, hopefully, I pass them on to someone else who will care for them as the original owner and I did. And I will relate the story of how I bought them so that passes down too.

You will know the right person for the secretary when you meet them.

In some European countries they have a wonderful way of dealing with this. The "family" has furniture that gets accumulated and passed down. If the kids don't like it they don't sell it, they just throw old sheets over it and store it somewhere safe and dry. It's just part of the stuff that gets passed along and eventually somee likes it or simply needs a piece of furniture and uses it, or not. Sort of like a library.

If you don't need/like it any longer, just put it away.

I understand totally! I have a houseful of "family heirlooms" and inherited "junktiques" too. It "feels" disrespectful to get rid family things... though truthfully it isn't. As my SIL says, "it is really all just sticks and glue". I finally sold some of my Grandma's antique linens on ebay a few years ago. I felt terrible at first, but came to terms with the fact that letting go of some of her stuff did not define my feelings for her, nor tarnish the wonderful memories associated with those things. If you decide to part with the piece, do not feel guilty.
On the other hand, if you keep it, maybe rethink how you are using it. Move it to a different location such as the foyer or hallway. It would look great in master bath with towels and pretty toiletries in it. Put it in the office for storage. Use it in a fresh and unconventional way and you may find that you are glad you kept it! This would at least allow you time to decide if you really want to sell it or give it away.
Do what will really make you happiest... 'cause that's what your Granma would really want for you. Mar

Marandall, now I want it! :)

Kitchenstumpt2.... me too! LOL!

Hi everyone. I appreciate all the ideas and comments. My DSL has been down for about a week so I haven't been able to respond.

I know EXACTLY what to to! I'll um....think about it later.

would you feel better about it leaving your home, if it were going to a place where it would be valued? For itself, if not for its relationship to your grandma?

Like, to someone who collects antiques, or to someone whose home has burned down?

My mom sends out a mass e-mail. If nobody in the family wants that thing, she sells it to an antiques dealer. Her idea: she wants SOMEONE to be enjoying it! It's almost as if she personifies the furniture, and sets it free to be itself.

Maybe you'd feel better about selling it, if the money you got for it went to a targeted place (send your kid to summer camp?)? (plus, you could tell yourself that, w/ a dealer, it'd be well cared for by the dealer AND purchased by someone who'd really love it as it deserves.)

Thanks for the very thoughtful reply. I suppose I'd rather see it go to someone who loved it for itself.

I've discovered that I like PHOTOS of beloved items almost as much as the items themselves. I guess it's the memories I treasure, not so much the items.

So I'll snap a few photos and let it go.