I guess we're all different, I've always been excited by newness ; I never kept a house long enough to be truly familiar with it. Was your smaller house your first home ? how long were you in it before the remodel.

I think the fact that you lived through the remodel means you've experienced each step of it and it's not a "surprise" , you've seen it happen every step of the way. Maybe next time you leave for an extended period, you'll have a "surprise"
feeling when you return.

Maybe it's the fact that you have been consumed by the process and you're feeling a sense of "loss". Instead of being entrenched in construction and decision-making, you are now into a new phase -- that of discovery. Each day you'll discover new things about your remodel that will make you say wow! this was definitely worth it! You've also reached the real fun part which is decorating the details like hanging the curtains, putting things on the wall and filling that gorgeous hutch. Mitch makes a great point about you being in the midst of the remodel every day -- you really need to step away in order to appreciate all that you've accomplished.

Exactly. Great thoughts above!

Get to know your new house in the same way that you would get to know a new friend. It will take some time to add the layers of memories that create that sense of "familiar" and "welcome"

Jan

Jan, I think you're right. It will take some time to get to know it. It's just a strange feeling.

I think a part of it is the kids are grown and I don't have them to share it with on a fulltime basis. Does that make sense? lol

I'm having the opposite reaction. For the first time in 13 years, I can walk around the house, glance at the design, and feel attraction instead of repulsion. The strangeness is that I enjoy my house now instead of being depressed by it. That's an odd feeling after 13 years! This is in spite of paint samples that have been on the wall for months, shabby furnishings, no window treatments, and some junk furniture that needs to be hauled away. Even despite the mess, it's soooo much nicer than before. My husband feels the same way, which is the best part. He wanted no part of the design decisions, and some of the improvements were expensive, so it's wonderful to see him walk around the house contentedly, commenting on how happy he is with the changes.

Still, you lose a lot of memories, the reminders of happy events. The day before our kitchen was gutted, I felt sadness, thinking of the happy times we'd had in that ugly, inadequate "stove and sink closet." So perhaps the solution, oakleyok, is to have family gatherings and neighborhood get-togethers. Not only will you create new happy memories, but everyone will ooh and ahh over your lovely renovation, which will make you feel delighted and proud.

I hope you get over your unfamiliarity soon and can truly enjoy your beautiful new home.

Your post was sad. I hope you will learn to feel more comfortable and love your new house soon.

Just read this part: "I think a part of it is the kids are grown and I don't have them to share it with on a fulltime basis. Does that make sense? lol"

Yes, that's it exactly. Losing ties to your children, the visual reminders of past family life, is the hardest part.

Our furnishings are shabby because of the hordes of kids we encouraged to hang out here. Those days are over now. But the happiness (and wholesomeness) of our kids' social life was worth every inch of the trashed carpeting and upholstery.

Awn, I'm still going through Empty Nest Snydrome! We are such a close and happy family, and we too had all the kids over. Although they don't live far away, I miss them sharing it all with me.

Reader, I'm not sad, it's all so new to me! After the backsplash guy leaves today and I can get my old kitchen decor out of boxes, maybe it will help?

I do have a new Christmas tree I'm looking forward to putting up. LOL!

awm03 - what lovely thoughts (your first post).

Oakley, be thankful for the remodel and the changes in the house. I hope you can soon enjoy it. Look at this as a new (and hopefully exciting!) time in your life. You and your husband are on your own again - there will be many more memories to make.

tina

I think I just fell in love with my house. LOL. The backsplash guy came a few minutes ago, and he showed me the design with the tile laid out, and I really like it! As I do my other choices, but this makes the kitchen more homey.

Thanks for the kind words Tina. My dh is in seventh heaven with all the new work, and he's really complimented me on my kitchen choices. I let him design most of the new room, and he did pretty good!

It's weird going from a smaller home to one where I have a LOT of walking to do to get somewhere!

And I know once we get area rugs laid, and more furniture bought, it will feel better to me.

One more thing, I wonder if age has to do with it? I'm not over the hill, but I was excited about this stuff a lot more than I am now about 15 years ago. When I had energy. :)

I agree with what's above. You'll get used to it and it'll be more fun once you start putting finishing touches on it.

I can't wait to see your finished kitchen with the knobs and backplash! I think the ruby knobs will look awesome with everything else you have going on!

...get my old kitchen decor out of boxes, maybe it will help?

After a year of keeping everything in storage it was like Christmas opening each box. I forgot about so many things. It was such a pleasure having room to put everything ... with room to spare. I don't miss the old space at all! We still have more work to do, but I'm not ready for that invasion of privacy just yet.

Pour yourself a glass of wine and have fun! You've earned it!

I am glad that you are not sad.
Sounds like things are looking up.
Definity adding your old treasures will help.
Have fun with it.

Oakley, I think I know just what you mean. You've lost a sense of your history with this new dream house. If the kids were around to create new memories in the large space, maybe you wouldn't feel that twinge.

We redid our kitchen after our son left and when he came back, I could see that he felt a sense of loss of his memories. Yes, he appreciated the new kitchen but...

I had a huge case of empty nest blues yesterday and I'm still trying to shake the feeling today. Max left on the train to return to the city. He reluctantly took the train after I refused to allow the Prius in San Francisco again. (Parking tickets.)

Without Max having a car, I don't think I'll be seeing much of him. We live rurally and it took me 1 1/2 hours to get him to the train. He can no longer just come home whenever he or we want him too. I know what I did was right in my head, I'm still trying to convince my heart, KWIM?

Your house will become home very soon. Try and invite the kids for a celebration of the new space as soon as you can. You'll feel better then, I think. You just need to create a few memories in your dream house, STAT!

Oakley - Awm03 had a great idea - the sooner you have family, friends and neighbors over to your beautiful new old home, the sooner you'll associate the lovely new rooms with happy memories. Until then, your GW friends all send computerized hugs! What did you find to fill all of those new kitchen drawers?!?

Gold, when we were young parents, we (I'm including all mom's here) read all the baby books, but no one prepared us for empty nest. I cried all the way home when we took our first son to college, when he came home the following weekend for a visit, I ran to his arms and cried! lol. I knew he had grown up when he said so sweetly, "I'm home, everything's okay, Mom." :(

Right now the boys are fighting about who gets our house when we die. lol.

Shee, the ruby knobs are only on the hutch. They look nice, takes some getting used to, though.

So where's this picture of your finished hutch?! :)

I agree with Sheesharee! Where are the pics? We're dying to see! :-)

I'll take one next week, the builder forgot to put the hinges (brackets?) on for the open shelving, so he'll be here tomorrow to do it. Then I'll put my Watt Pottery up which matches the knobs.

I remember when I first moved into my house it was the smell...or lack of it that I noticed the most...it didn't smell like us...nothing weird...just candles, perfumes/scents worn, etc...even my son noticed it.

A week into living there he said it finally smelled like home.

Oak I hope soon your home will fit like a glove. I always wanted an historial home, dreamed about it, decorated in my mind for years.

The thruth is now that I have it, I hate it. The dream turned into a nightmare and I don't think I can recover from it. But what the heck I could of been diagnoised with cancer six years ago rather than dying a real slow death in this hell hole.
Sorry it's just one of those days.

....Jane

Jane, would you mind sharing, or is it too personal?

See, I grew up in one of those beautiful two story historical houses on Main Street, small town, USA. Then my parents moved to the lake when I was 18. UGH. I've dreamt of that house numerous times since I've been an adult. It was just beautiful with all the nooks and crannies, window seats, octagon hallways upstairs and down, etc. Big corner lot.

So when we remodeled and added on, we kind of turned the front part of the house into an "old" house. Except the outside looks new.

We did get a good compliment from the workers, one of them asked us if this was our parents house and were we remodeling for them. lol. IOW,it looked OLD inside because of the arches we added and the colors.

Oak I didn't mean to hog the thread with my saddess. I feel much better since I answered the question about the Rich and Famous.

Thank you sweetie.

...Jane

Problem solved! I can't believe I didn't figure this out on my own. It was the lighting in the kitchen! We were using bare bulbs in the center of the room.

Today the electrician is out and installed under cabinet lighting, with hi-lo switches, and he's got the overhead light in, along with the sink light.

That was it. The "ambience" (sp) from the lack of lights! Even with the under-cab lights only, it looks like HOME.

DR chandy goes up next. I'm like a little girl in a lighting store. lol. Honestly, I had more fun picking out fixtures than I did anything else.

I once lived in a house whose kitchen was remodeled, which previously was original to the mid-1960s house. Years later I was surprised to walk in and find the original cabinets and appliances had been reinstalled.

Then I woke up.

I don't know why I kept getting that dream....

Let us know how long the floor mopping stays fun!

It's not fun. lol. The kitchen is still weird to me, and I know it's because it's in the back of the house now and away from the front door. It's only creepy when I'm home alone, which is 5 days a week. :)

I can completely relate re:lights! I have most of my ceiling fixtures on dimmers and turn the ones in the front of the house~~foyer, DR, stairwell~~every night on a very low setting. In the back of the house~~kitchen, great room and MB~~I turn on lamps w/low wattage bulbs that cast a golden glow. If the lights aren't on, it doesn't feel like home to me. On a cloudy day, i'll turn the lights on earlier than usual~it always seems I get a little pick-me-up seeing the house all lit up. The porch lights go on at dusk every night, and are left on all night like most of the neighborhood.

Lighting, as well as candles, sets a certain mood and creates an ambience of 'home'. ;o)