Ann Hargreaves


I unexpectedly lost an aunt, to whom I was very close, last Friday. Due to a new job, I was unable to attend her wake or funeral as it was 4,000 miles away.

I took yesterday off work and did my own ritual in her memory. But today at work it is hard.

I am an auditor and really need to focus on my work. I find myself spaced-out, almost in tears at times. How do you cope at work?


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Hi Ann,

I can't really offer any spectacular advise on this subject because I was a weepy space cadet for weeks after my brother died. Things slowly go back to being normal at work over time. It's hard to consentrate and just jump back into work when you've lost someone you care for. I am still a space cadet, and only slightly less weepy. Just give yourself time and don't expect yourself to work miracles at work for a while.


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I've heard some people say that when they are in a situation like this, they tell themselves that they MUST concentrate on the work at hand at the time, but when they get off work or at home, they will allow themselves to grieve openly. I know it is very, very, hard.
Is there any way that you could maybe take a couple of weeks off or even just a week or few days? Sometimes if you can just have a little time off to kind of get your mind and heart in a comfortable place, it helps.

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When my mom died in May I had a heck of a time concentrating. It took 3-4 weeks before I felt I could actually concentrate here at work. Some days are still hard. Do the best you can.


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