Here is the current project. On Saturday we plan to add the the framing and drywall to the middle wall, which will divide the w/d closet from the master bedroom closet. There is a window behind the doors. Where the pipes are coming up, is where the wall will be. Don't you just love how the thermostat is taped to the wall? Its blue tape is ever so lovely.

Hi Johnie, I lost my Momma in August 2008 and I cannot imagine the depth of your grief over the loss of you dear husband. I have been married to my best friend for over 25 years and I do not know what I would do without him. I am so sorry for your loss. Sometime life seems so unfair..... Keep in mind that every day you are here is one more day closer to being with your wonderful husband. I will keep you in my prayers and send angel hugs ((())) to you. This is a wonderful place that can fill you with a measure of gentle understanding from the other forum readers. Blessings, Lisa

I have 2 very young grandchildren, so we are trying to keep Christmas up for them. The 17 month old doesn't really understand and the 4 year old goes up to people and tells them her grandfather died. I know she misses him. She loves tractors just like he did. I plan on giving each of them a present from Grandfather, something he would have liked them to have. I am glad he got to know he had a grandson, so far the only one in that generation to carry on the name. He didn't know about the one due next June. We hadn't seen or talked to our youngest son in over 2 years, even though he lived only about 10 miles, and answering an e-mail isn't that difficult. He did get to see his father while Dave still was aware he was there. I retired 2 years ago to take care of him. He never seemed as strong after his left foot was amputated, now we know why. He was still in a wheelchair when I was diagnosed with cancer. I remember the first chemo, they botched the iv and I basically passed out. He held my hand and talked to me. I lost all feeling, but never lost the sound of his voice. He told me that he always knew when I was in the room and could relax. I then knew what he was talking about. The doctors were trying to decide if he was in a coma or not. I knew he wasn't. The doctor asked why I was so sure, when he didn't respond to anything. I told them he knew the difference between me and them. His head would slowly follow them and their voices. They started coming in quietly and not talking until they could see him, that way they could tell he was there. And the night we had to make the decision for a transplant or to let him go, his eyes opened wide and he started hyperventilating. We were all thrown out of the room. I asked to come back in and calm him down, that nothing else would. They were surprised that he responded to my touch and voice and they didn't have to medicate him because he knew me. It's the first time I have ever watched something die. After we got the news that they no longer could do a transplant we waited 4 hours trying to get hold of his brother in California. During that time there was a period when only myself and his onther brother were in the room. I know he heard me when I told him that we had lost the fight. I had always promised to be honest with his medical condition (he had been sure he was dying for 20 years) and so I told him that they would be turning off the equipment soon and not to fight. I talked to him for about 20 minutes. His brother talked to him to and I haven't had the heart to tell him, that Dave hadn't heard a word he'd said. We had our good times and many bad times, but we were truly one. I know that I am definately grieving differently than many people. I immediately got rid of most of his clothes (a nephew needed them badly). I cut my hair short and I have rearranged a lot of the house. It took me a month or so to realize that I didn't have to compromise, I could fix things up the way I wanted. I have even gotten a second Shih Tzu dog. Charlie and Dave were inseparable, and I could see that he needed a friend to help his grieving too. The puppy makes us laugh. My older son and his wife are wonderful. I have our RV parked in their driveway. They bought the house from us when we moved 44 miles away into the country. I can go stay anytime I want and I am welcome. It's nice because I don't feel I am intruding. One thing we have done is book a dream trip to Disneyland in February. I was already talking Dave into it, so I am considering it my Christmas and anniversary present. We were married December 20 - 6 months and 2 weeks after we met for the first time. The kids have already planned a big night for our anniversary because we always did something special. Dave didn't like going to fancy restaurants much (Sizzler and Red Robin count as fancy), but he always did for our anniversary. We are going to go to downtown Seattle and take the grandkids to the carousel and see the store windows. I'd better get off of here, I'm just jabbering away.

WOW.... I know what brought me to this page. Anger at someone who died in my life. But never did I expect to read about so much passion and love. I started crying for you. But I also heard GUILT. Sweetie, that guilt is going to eat you up. Yet I can understand. We always look back and want to rearrange the past. Normally, it's when we still have time to do so but just don't do it. But it's when there's a finality to it, when there IS no going back that we hurt so much and get so angry at ourselves. I know there's nothing I can say to make it make sense. I can only say "I understand" and I feel your pain. You feel that if you'd done this or that, things would be different. That you could have been there for him. But on the other hand, had Matt done things differently, things would have also turned out differently as far as you being there, in his life. I'm not saying it's his fault any more that it's your fault. It's no ones 'fault.' I just hear you saying you wish you'd taken different steps so that maybe you could have been there with him. And I understand. Just keep in mind that it wasn't all 'your job." It wasn't all up to you to mend things before this happened. Had he taken different steps, you may or may not have been there, in his life. Just saying, it's not all on YOUR shoulders, honey. Really....it's not. You both had things (emotions, fears, whatever...) keeping you from reaching out to one another. But then life stepped in and screwed it all up before either of you had a chance to do what was in your hearts. There's nothing I can say to make that make sense. That's the randomness of life, however unfair it may be. And you're so young, sweetie. I am 53. Been thru lots of heartache from love. But I remember at your age, love was so strong and pure and I could not imagine ever loving anyone else. My future was mapped out for me with THAT person and that person ONLY. There would never be anyone else like US. So, oh how much you must hurt from this. As much as people tell you about "time healing all wounds" (and it IS true) there is no possible way you can believe that now. All you know is life dealt you a raw deal and on top of that, you feel guilty because YOU WEREN'T there with him. I guess all I can say to that is - once again, I understand. But don't beat yourself up for not being there WHEN this happened. Death is random. You two could have been happy as two peas in a pod and this still could have happened - him at home and you at the grocery store. I think what you're feeling is the disconnection from him when this happened. You're sad because you feel like he died without you two 'mending' whatever was going on. You were separated. It's unfinished business. You feel empty and helpless. And you're going thru all the "what if's??" That part is natural. It WILL take time to get past those feelings. My personal experience with losing someone was in May. Yet I'm still dealing with a myriad of emotions on a daily basis -- lots of them being "what if". What if I'd have checked on him earlier? How was he feeling, all alone, dying alone? I wish there was something comforting to say to you, but I know at this point, you just need to share how you feel. The last thing you need is someone telling you how you 'should' feel or what you 'need' to do. So just know, if you need to really open up, you can email me. Go to MY PAGE and there's an "email me" link. Please feel free to write me, hon. You do need to talk about it.