Can't say goodbye to my grandpa


My family is a total mess. My parents divorced last year my father is grieving his marriage and doesn't want to talk to me or my sister at the moment.

My mother relies on my sister and me as her only "friends" and has cut all family ties with the rest of her family about 15 years ago.

That was really hard for me. I was 14 and till this time my family visited my grandparents often and I loved them. Although they never let us stay with them or took us to the zoo or this kind of stuff. But still. My other grandparants died when I was very young so I only have them left.

Now my grandpa died and my mother dind't go to say goodbye to him, when my uncle told her his time was running out.

This makes me so sad. Not for my mother because it was her own choice but to think that my grandpa might have wanted to see her one last time and being denied this...

I just found out yesterday that he died last week and they were planning to have the funeral at the end of the week. So it must have taken place yesterday or today...

I am sad that he passed away without having the chance to reconcile with his daugher (my mother). And I am sad I can't say goodbye properly for myself. It would have been the last chance to see my grandma as well, i guess. And to learn at least a little bit of his life not tained by my mothers point of view. I am so very sad. Maybe it's stupid because we never really got to know each other but I grief for the memories I have of him and the good times we once had.

I wish I could have been there today. Although I understand my uncles, but still...

I think I will regret this all my life.

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Grieving is personal, sometimes it's for ourselves and sometimes it's because we don't understand others. Sounds like you're sad about what might have been? Tell us a bit more about yourself. How old are you, why couldn't you attend the funeral, why can't you see your grandmother?
You can't control others, only yourself. Maybe your mom decided to keep her memories as they were? Think of some positives and dwell on those.

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