Our battle with Bosco's hemangiosarcoma came to an end yesterday. He had been feeling ill with a fever of 106° F over the weekend. Their normal temperature is 101° to 102.5°F. So I went to work and raided the place of every antibiotic you can think of, IV fluids, IV catheter... It NEVER occurred to me to grab the euthanasia solution! He got IV fluids through the weekend and a whole pharmacy of medications. His gums returned to a nice healthy pink rather than the ghastly white that had been. He even started to eat baby food that comes in a jar, some ice cream and played with his squeaky ball. He even got up and was walking around. :-) His improvement was apparently his "last hurrah" which I have seen numerous times in terminal patients thoughtout the years. His gums were white yesterday morning and was not breathing normally. I got him into the car by myself. (Amazing what the body can do in an emergency situation.) We took only one radiograph of his chest ... just to see ... :-( About 95% of his chest cavity was tumors. At least five were larger than the size of my fist! There was so much cancer that his heart could not be seen because of all of the tumours. Maybe some involved his heart too. There was a tiny area of his lungs one inch square that appeared cancer free. Certainly that is not enough for a 100 pound dog! I believe that his cancer also infiltrated the intestines because he had black diarrhea yesterday morning. Black is an indication of severe bleeding and the blood has been digested before exiting the body. His type of cancer stems from the cells of blood vessels and there are blood vessels everywhere. He could have had a rupture of a tumor anywhere in his body. That Bosco's gums turned white again was a sign that his tumors were bleeding. That was another painful thing for him plus it made it even harder for him to breathe. Maybe his back pain was the cancer in the spine? Everything was so nice and normal just 3 weeks ago (radiographs and blood work). We even had a check up with his oncologist in August and he was more than delighted how well Bosco was doing! But ... one needs to have at least one billion cells change before the first change is seen on a radiograph. The hemangiosarcoma is also the fastest growing cancer in a dog. :-( I could not see him suffering any more although he never complained about anything I did for him! I called my Mom and told her what was going on and she too did not want this sweet dog to be in needless pain any longer. He was on a thick soft blanket, I gave him a kiss for every family member, told him I was sorry that it came to this. He got an anesthetic through his IV catheter. He still had the one I placed on the weekend. He didn't even need to get poked again. He went to sleep and then I gave him the injection to stop his heart. The guy I work with asked if I wanted him to put Bosco down. No. I needed to perform this final act of love and mercy for our dearest Bosco. Bosco was so trusting and he let me know through the look in his sweet eyes that it was OK and he was ready to leave his pain. :-( The dose is 1cc per 10 pounds of body weight. He died after he got a dose for someone only weighing 20 pounds. I did give him the full dose but for sure he was ready to go. Bosco will be cremated and we will get his ashes back in a few days. I e mailed Mike/Ima_Celery about what was going on and again yesterday what had happened. I don't think he has had time to check his e mails yet. The Internet situation in S. America can be iffy at times. Mike will be back in early October. Daisy is looking for Bosco. Bruno the cat, Bosco's best friend, knows something bad has happened and is lying on Bosco's bed all day. None of the cats had eaten yesterday either! We got his spleen out last September and while 80% of dogs die within one to two months of diagnosis, we were lucky ... did the 12 weeks of chemo and got to have another 11 months with him! About 6 years ago Bosco fathered a litter of 7 puppies. ALL have his loving friendly personality. We were so delighted with his puppies we put some of his "representatives" into a sperm bank. Perhaps later if we find a nice female GSD, she might have some Bosco puppies and his line will endure. That is far down in the future. We need to cope, somehow, with this totally unexpected turn of events. I gave myself a mega headache from crying yesterday and today. Drugs have dulled it a bit but not totally. My sincerest thanks to Semper, Heather and Bihai for their compassion and care during this ordeal! What wonderful people they are, and the rest of you Pond people, for such concern for someone you have never even met! Time to cry some more. :-( Chickadeedeedee

Hi Ladies, I am new to this forum and found it because I was desperately searching the web for new coping strategy ideas. I am 44. No period in 6 months. Rt. ovary and tube removed two years ago, along w/ uterine lining, and implants in bladder for Endometriosis. Year later...emergency surgery for ruptured appendix, that apparently had been perforated for "at least several weeks" according to surgeon. Twas a miracle I survived, but I did, however, I have never really obtained my pre-surgical health status. Have adhesions in my uterus and in abdominal cavity, which can make eating a challenge. I struggle to maintain 115 lbs. after losing to about 102. Have recently discovered that I have 3 bulging discs and 4 benign spinal column vascular tumors. Then, started having balance issues, and this "all-over body pain" several of you have described. Was referred to a neurologist, and brain MRI showed several small "white foci" spots or lesions on my brain, possibly suggesting MS. But nerve tests and blood markers were normal. So, I am basically in a holding pattern until they run the tests again in a couple of months. I am having radical night sweats, hot flashes during the day, mood swings, foggy brain, phantom burning sensations all over my body and face, chronic migraine headaches, and skin irritations. I think that the hormonal stuff, fibromyalgia, and MS type symptoms are related somehow, and I have been reading and trying a variety of things that I will share in hopes it helps some of you. The big challenge is to get up every day, accomplish something, keep moving the body, and eat healthy! Even with all your efforts, it seems like there are just days when nothing seems to work. I have a pain mgmt. doc that gives me Tramadol and Vicodin. I take on average two of each a day, but take time off from the drugs btwn. prescriptions refills to help my bowels adjust and not become too dependent on meds, and to totally feel my body and try new ways to deal w/ symptoms. I do not sleep well and usually give up about pre-dawn. I used to medicate and try to get a little more sleep, but decided to try another approach and seize the day. I hobble out of bed right out into the garden where I meditate, pick snails off my plants, prune, meditate, talk out-loud to God, give thanks, and sometimes feel my grandmother (an avid life-long gardener, now dead over 20 years) near me. And, I remember her little words of wisdom about growing things, life and literature. A routine has become very important, to my self-esteem and sanity. From there, I tend to my house in some way to make a tidy and happy environment for myself and my family. Some days I have to lay down again by mid-morning. If I do, I try to do some laying down type of easy movement to stretch and do some phys. therapy exercises for back and pelvic floor. I do NOT watch TV at all, and taking that mindless chatter and background noise helped a lot! I listen to NPR or books on tape. In bed, and especially w/ headaches, I use a sleep mask to cut out all light. I am blessed to have a great hard-working partner and a small business that allows me to work from home, and often from bed. Sitting and typing for more than an hour or so does not work for me. To keep moving, I return to the garden a few times a day, even for a few minutes to breathe deeply. I do a health shake every day with the following stuff: probiotic yogurt, fresh fruit/berries/ etc., liquid Vitamin B12 (given initially as injections from Neuro. doc for deficiency, which really helped w/ brain fog and some of the neuropathy),liquid D3, liquid multi-vitamin, protein powder, flax meal, flax oil, chia seeds. Just found some chrondroitin w/ no fish product to add to the mix. Depending on status of bowels I adjust ingredients, and if I can't tolerate it, I make fresh vegetable broths or chicken broth. For anxiety, I use Valerian Root sometimes or Tension Tamer Tea. I have Ambien for sleep sometimes, but really try not to make that a habit either. Any more exercise is tricky as it seems to have a severe back-lash in terms of pain and fatigue. I live on an extreme hill-side so let the garden gently guide me up and down those stairs. But, it is hard, and there are days that the joints and feet just throb. Arnica is a good rub, and Capsaicin is a good rub - just keep it away from eyes and your bum and any open cuts, because it will burn. The Cap. helps w/ the aching nerve-type pain better than Arnica, and some studies suggest that its benefit accumulates over time and can really promote healing. Because my mom's mother died at 45 of ovarian cancer, and my mom has had breast cancer and a lot of skin cancers, HRT is not advised. I am quite fair and have had some pre-melanomas remove from my legs. One grew back and had to be removed 3 times, but so far no actual malignancies. Have also had some lumps in my breast. Have had core biopsy and needle aspiration, and while these cells are "highly differentiated" and termed "pre-cancer" none of those have been malignant. I totally understand the mind-space that possible frightening possible diagnosis can mean, so I try to keep a balance between doing diligence on my own behalf to be able to speak to docs. But, it is important to not claim your diagnosis or possible diagnosis as an identity. Learned that the hard way. I have also tried to learn new things - how to make a Wordpress blog, how to Skype, how to edit little movies, and help my nephew write songs and edit the tracks using GarageBand. It is important not to let a doc refuse you pain meds for chronic pain. It is important not to lose yourself in pain meds. It is important to have periods where you feel the pain and find ways to distract yourself to build tolerance and hopefully new neuropathways in your brain. I wrote a feature article about Neurofeedback a few years ago and am going to try that soon. It is brain training that involves real-time EEG. You look at a screen and try to think in such a way that accomplishes a task - like controlling a graduated bar that bounces up and down. When you do it, a bell rings. It worked wonders with a friend who had a terrible car accident and was in a coma, and lost short term memory. It also worked wonders w/ a niece w/ learning disabilities. I visit the chiropractor and have a massage when I can, but the expense is prohibitive for an ongoing routine there. So sometimes a hot bath, sometimes a vigorous rub on myself where I can reach...The other hard fact I've had to realize is that my immediate family loves me and want to understand, but they get tired of hearing my complaints. I try to find other outlets and reserve my best for them. They know, and I am not talking about being a silent martyr, but care-taking is hard too. It can make people feel trapped and frustrated and even resentful. I have seen chronic illness destroy relationships. Great right? Yet another thing to try to cope with, but it is the truth, and if any of you have ever done like a pain management seminar, that topic will come up. Sometimes days I cry a little, and I go ahead and let it out when I am alone, but when it's done, I pet my animals, pick myself up, dust myself off, pluck snails in the garden, smell earth and sky, and just keep going. Life is precious, and even in this state, I find that there is so much joy and beauty to be found, and taking ownership of all I can, taking responsibility for making life work somehow...makes it easier. I can feel proud of myself most of the time. This experience has made me a lot wiser and more compassionate. And, if I am about to really blow my top, a little marijuana doesn't hurt either. Not too much. Just a little. Sparks the appetite, calms the nerves, sometimes inspires creativity, sometimes helps sleep. Discovered it when my partner's father was going through chemotherapy. Worked great for him too. Have smoked it and used it in a tea. So, that's my story. Hope it helps someone. I will keep on "casting a wide net," and if I find things that work, even for a little while, because nothing seems to be the consistent cure-all, I will share. - Blessings and peace to you all

Lucy finally decided to eat and drink a little today. It really seemed to perk her up some. She still jumps straight up 3 feet into the air when she potties though, so we are keeping her on the pain meds. We know all too well that you have to laugh when you can and watching her potty is sad and hilarious at the same time. The pain from the procedure should getting better soon. We are still waiting on the biopsy results. Hopefully they will come in today yet. Thanks again for all the support. Linda

My dh's prostate cancer was found @ age 65 after elevated PSA. He was treated initially with antibiotics for possible prostatitus, but the follow up PSA did not decline. The cancer was not felt on exam. Next step was prostate biopsy, 3 of 14 specimens were +for cancer. The choices he was given: radical prostatectomy surgery, external beam radiation, implant radiation of "seeds" in the prostate, or "watchful waiting"...all viable options. He opted for the surgery via the surgeon using the DaVinci robot (very important to have surgeon who has performed many of these procedures). It was very successful, margins clean (no spread, caught early). No post op complications. Had incontinence of urine for a few months (typical), but now has full control. It will be 2 yrs in Oct that he had surgery. Like most men past age 50 he had prostatic enlargement, actually pretty severe & he had symptoms related to that (urgency, hesitancy, slow/poor stream). Even without the cancer he would have eventually needed some form of treatment. But that was a bonus of the complete prostate removal...goes like a race horse, as Jasdip says. LOL Prostate cancer is #1 most common for men & #2 killer cancer, but if found in very elderly, it is usually not deadly, they die with it, not from it. I had a dear friend whose dh died from prostate ca, age 67. Having screening PSA's is not without controversy. It seems valid to cease doing them at your dh's age 75, Chisue. If you have any questions, I'll be glad to try to answer.