Not the best labor day...


Well I woke up to finding out that two friends of mine passed away in a car accident at 23 and 24. Way too young and I find myself crying every other 5 minutes. They were drinking and driving, not wearing seatbelts and was said to be going 80 in a 25mph. They hit a retaining concret wall and literally split the car in half. Pronounced dead at the scene. My heart is hurting for his family members who now have to go on without them. I'm so sad and hurt and I should have stopped you on saturday at the fair...I saw you and you looked so busy. I beat myself up because that was the last time I will see you..........I am so tired of losing friends and family to alcohol. I don't even drink anymore......

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I am sorry about the loss of your friends, but that is their choice. You can grieve, cry but you will survive. You made a good choice to not drink. I would suggest you expand your friends a bit more, and look for some support groups. Alcon (I think that is it) will help you cope to handle situations that you have little or no control over.
There are many groups both religious and non religious. Look in the yellow pages and your newspaper. You may have to try several to find the support group that you feel is the best for you.
Good luck,

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Hard to lose friends at any age but harder when you are young I think as you don't have as much "life experience" yet. Marie is right tho about the choices your friends made,chosing to drink, not use seatbelts & drive fast- 3 fatal mistakes. I hope they didn't take others with them. When I was 18 my future hubby was driving me home when we saw a terrible accident right after it happened. 7-8 kids in 1 car & other car no seatbelts 2 in car drunk & 80 mph. Other car had just pulled into intersection after they had stopped at stop sign. Engine went 350 ft. into farmer's barn. Very sad in town of 14,000 to lose so many kids. Driver that caused it only survivor. I think of him often & wonder if he ever even cared. Sad things happened over the years to some of the family members of the kids. When they drive & drink they really destroy more than just the people in the cars. You will do much better if you volunteer in a soup kitchen, a library reading books to kids,helping out in hospital volunteer program. Something that helps others makes you feel good about yourself & that is very healing & you meet good people with healthy ideas for living. Even tutoring another kid at school. Sounds like you are out of school, if you were good at a subject offer to tutor a kid that is having problems with it. A counselor could help with that. If you work maybe there is Mothers Against Drunk Driving group you could talk too. They might even want you to speak to some kids about how loss of friends hurts so much. You can steer your life into a good pattern of living or go the other way & not do well! Choose the good route & your life will be good in time & try to think of goals for the future,figure out what you want in life in 10 yrs & work towards it & being a sober, dependable person. It won't happen overnite. It takes time. Try not to let dumb things people say to you right now bother you, they just don't know what to say, they mean well(but can't spit out what they mean). Lost my hubby when I was 42 suddenly,dropped dead at work-heart. I knew he would want me to go on living & I had 2 kids. Grieve at your own pace but don't crawl in a hole or bed & stay there! If you find you don't want to get up you need to get some help, talk it out with family friend or someone you trust. Try to keep busy that way you don't have time to feel so sad & time will make it better. Good Luck sweetie & some tears are normal,just don't let them overtake your life.

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