One death after another

ekkg

My Dad passed away in July, Mom passed away in 2008, my wife's brother is in hospice, one of my best friends daughter is 25 and she needs a heart/liver transplant, I could go on and on. I'm 47 and what is so over welhming is the fact until my Mom passed, death was a stranger to me. I know I've been fortunate and I understand that I'm at an age where I'm seeing the circle of life's end. In my twenties I saw many beginnings with the birth of my children and the birth of nephews and nieces. I count my blessings everyday, but man is this hard to take. I need to be strong for those who depend on me and lead by example, especially for the younger ones. I started this post thinking I was going to ask a question, but somehow that escapes me now. If you have anything to add, I would appreciate your insight. God Bless, E.

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sylviatexas1

I'm sorry, ekkg...

It does seem like things come in waves, as you say, first the tidal wave of weddings & births, then all those first cars & graduations & then, just about the time you're gearing up for some more weddings & babies, the first wave of loss begins.

You do need to be strong, but you don't have to be strong for everybody & strong all the time;
the give & take of helping each other through loss & grief is another part of the pattern.

You can be strong for your loved ones sometimes & rely on your loved ones for strength sometimes yourself.

Take care.

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ekkg

Here we go again, my brother in law passed away last night and the task of telling his 91 year old mother fell upon my wife's shoulders. She is the youngest of 9 at 46. Me and my two late teen kids went with her to break the news. It was expected but it was still shocking for her Mom and it was very difficult to watch my wife do this. Now both of our families are reeling from these deaths but I'm feeling stronger everyday. The out pouring of love that has been directed towards us givin' us hope that things will work out. Along with this closeness has come with the knowledge that some of our family members are in dire straits financially. Since we are not wealthy, it really leaves you with a feeling of helplessness. I really hope praying works because it's all that I have to offer. Oh the misery I could relieve with a little bit of money, dammit!!

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lulie___wayne

I'm so sorry for all of your losses. I feel that way,also.
My life was wonderful and still is, but it changed dramatically at age 45. I used to always wonder when the happy bubble would burst and it did.
At age 45, I lost my 19 year old daughter suddenly due to an accident. 9 months later, my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and died 6 years later. Four years later, my only niece died due to a hospital error which caused severe illness prior to her death. A year after that loss, my dad died after suffering from cancer for two years.
I tell myself that all of this is just part of life when we get older. I know that not everyone has to deal with the loss of a child, but most everyone will deal with the death of parents, siblings, and friends throughout their lifetime and it's something that we just have to live through the best that we can, along with along with all the good things such as births, graduations, weddings etc.
For me, the illnesses, deaths and griefs have been overlapped and very difficult.
The only advice I can give you is just to know that you are not alone in this and that it is a part of life.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if none of us had to deal with all of this sadness? That's just not the way it is supposed to be though, I don't think.
I wish you the best.

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mark2468

I'm 47, lost my Dad 1 year ago and my Mom this year. I can totally appreciate how you are feeling. I don't have anyone to talk to about it so I use this forum.

Some days I just don't even want to get out of bed.

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mark2468

Just got a call...my mothers last brother died tonight. This is just too much. :o(

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