Our son's dog, Kate B. left us in her 12th year. She slept at my feet on the corner of the bed for so long that I automatically bent my right leg to make room for her even after she was gone. I told my DH that we had to find another friend. He said we could not replace her. I told him that was true but a new little friend would help to fill the void she had left (I boohoo'd for what seemed like weeks...my son could not believe I took it so hard). Six weeks later Tess came into our lives, all 1 3/4 lbs of her and she has been the best dog of our 42 year marriage. She loves us both, loves to talk to our grown son on the phone...hates his 4 huge cats! We just took in 2 black feral kittens we found under our house. I thought Tess was going to disown us. LOL She loves to tattle on what they are up to and with those two they are ALWAYS up to something (what was I thinking!). The good Lord shared a wonderful friend like Tweed and surely HE will send you another that will help you during the trying times you are dealing with. Much love from Tess, YoYo, YaYa, DH and me (((hug))) Peggy

Sneakyplant- First and most crucial thing- this time I REALLY wanted to lose it. I was sick of myself. I was sick of buying frumpy plus clothes, I was sick of wondering what new people who met me thought of my weight, I was sick of other people descibing me as the 'fat one', I was sick of people asking me "have you lost weight?" when I hadn't lost a thing and I knew they were 'hinting'. I was sick of not having any photos of me with my children because I was too embarrassed to be photographed. (If this is you, no matter what your size, be in the photo- you can't wind back the clock and have a photo with your chn.) Second thing was breaking it down into achievable goals. The whole amount to lose was too high and freaked me out, so I would set a shorter goal and treat myself when I got there- treats like new item of clothes, a magazine etc (not food!). Even now (with not much to go) I have a short term goal between now and my big goal (which is to be in the healthy weight range). I initially tracked my weight loss progress on a simple hand drawn chart- that was motivating- I could see how far I was going in a visual way. I weigh myself once a day- I know they say weigh weekly, but I needed the reminder that I was losing. Third- which was a BIG help, I built weekly menus that had less fat, less sugar. I buy only the food for the menu (and yes my children eat this too- but they have more carbs and dairy). Variety is a key for me to stay interested in the menu. Here is a sample: Breakfast small bowl of 97% fat free cereal with skim milk OR 2 slices raisin toast- usually no butter (but if desperately wanting it a smear of diet marg). Totally cut out all juice. Mid morning a piece of fruit- usually an apple as I like apples. Lunch- virtually always the same thing- a wholemeal/multigrain roll with lettuce, tomato, cucumber and a 97% fat free meat (eg turkey, ham, beef. In winter I sometimes had one of those 99% fat free instant soups as well. Afternoon- this was the hardest as I kept wanting to eat- but I have nothing. One days when I am starving I 'borrow' something from dessert early. Dinner- lots and lots of vegies, lots of flavour from herbs, spices, chilli, approx 200g meat- chicken 1-2 per week, fish twice, red meat 3-4. Made into stirfry, roasts, casseroles. No carbs with dinner- no rice, pasta, potatoes etc. But I will have pumpkin with roast as my potato substitute. (Fish took a while to get used to as I rarely ate it before.) A low fat frozen dinner is always in the freezer in case I can't cook- in the old days I would order pizza! Dessert- always a low fat dairy- custard, yoghurt, sometimes (not much) icecream, fruche plus a serve of fruit- stewed, fresh piece, fruit salad. I mix up the combinations so I don't get bored. My personal favourite (have it about 1 per month) is: simmer a pear in redwine and spices serve with a SMALL piece of cheese- eg brie, blue. Tastes so indulgant, but is not that bad either. The trick with the menu is to stick to exactly what is on for that day. Every now and then I 'break'(usually if I am stressed) but make sure it is something not too bad- such as low fat rice crackers and salsa, and always do my walk first. If you are going out or want say rice with dinner skip the roll at lunch and have a huge salad instead. Forth- Making a regular daily effort to walk for 45 minutes. Even when I am dog tired, sick, raining, too hot (you know the excuses I mean!) When I very first started I walked for 15 minutes a day for a few months, then gradually walked a little further- adding 5 minutes at a time. I have walked 45 for last 18 months. Now I have just started adding a small amount of jogging but that has taken 2 years to get to that point. A exercise partner is a big help as you can 'talk and walk'. When I walk I visualise that each step is slowly winding back the eating junk clock. Each step is one step closer to my goal. After a while you do actually get to like the walks, and miss it if you can't go (eg unexpected company drops in and it's too late when they leave). I did hire a treadmill for 3 months- but it was too expensive to keep hiring - I figured walking outside was free. I also help keep myself on track with reminders- eg a poster I made for myself which says "Every day my body is getting stronger, slimmer and healthier" (sounds dumb but it reminds me of my goal and I keep it near my makeup so when I am getting ready for the day I see it.) I have the WW newsletter emailed to me- it has good ideas and keeps my brain on track. In the fridge I have a small post-it note- on it I wrote 35. No other people see it as it is barely noticable- but to me it reminds me to get out of the fridge because I want to reach my goal before I am 35. (I think I might just make it..!) If 'desperate' diet soda tastes like a treat, and low-fat hot chocolate help those chocolate cravings. I know the site is not about adverstising but one place I used to develop my menu was an Aussie firm called Lite n Easy- they have a free online DIY menu. It gave me an idea of quantities and types of foods to eat. I never bothered with fancy lunches, I always had my salad and deli meat roll. It would be easy to follow their menu and use a frozen dinner instead of their dinner. Anyway- I see this is LONG!!!! Hope it helps, and if you want more info ask. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!! Step by step! Koala_Em Here is a link that might be useful: DIY menu that can be adapted

My mother passed away April 13th 2022. she raised me and my sister, as a single mother. she worked 2 jobs to ptovide for us, but we took her for granted as children. When the mother of my 2 children passed away in 2016, my mother moved in with us. My mother helped raise my daughter(16 now) and my son(15 now) for almost a decade. My mother was more than just my best friend, she was my only friend. i have complex PTSD, and she was the only one that i trusted enough to talk about the war with… she went with me to the VA, when i had to. she gave me strength, she always seemed to understand things that other people either couldnt or didnt want to understand… my dog died about a month before my mother did… 2022 has taken a lot from me and my 2 children… they saw her as a mother, as much as me… i go from feeling numb to feeling deep sadness and loss… i don‘t want to give up, but i always needed her support. she died from cancer, after being on immunotherapy for 2 years… she suffered from many side effects, for most of her treatment. she became so thin near the end that it was painful to see her like that… i was with her until the end, and it may sound strange but i held her for some time after she died and just sobbed onto her… i talk to her still thst she is dead for months, but i still wake up thinking that she is alive… i beli my mother is in heaven, but selfishly i just want my mom back… i miss my only friend… i miss the only selfless person that i ever met… i feel so empty, and i did not think that id feel so lost… she gave me direction when i didnt know what to do… i hope this posts, it does give comfort to know that i am not a

I am so sorry about your mom. Mine will have been gone a year later this month. We were very close and I am still devastated. I doubt a day will go by that I don't miss her. I wish I could be more uplifting, but my heart aches as I'm sure yours does. Someday we will know the reason for this pain. Duane