Hi Lulie.....I wish for that also. Only one dream about my mother since she died a year ago, and that was not good. But did have one reassuring dream about my Father shortly after he died. I spend mental time with the almost daily, so maybe that is it.
I hope you are doing OK. (((Lu))). Derry

I dream about Jill a lot. I can differentiate between regular dreams and visits, or at least I think I can. Then there are mornings when I wake up certain that we were together during the night, but I have no memory of it. My best friend reports this happens to her, too. Sometimes, feeling desperate, I'll ask Jill to come to me in a dream, and she always does.

My father came to me three times in dreams, my mother not at all. I don't know what happened after my first mother died, because I was nine and don't remember.

Lu and Derry, you might try asking. Silently. ;-)

Susan

Lu, I wish I could dream about Lindsey. Soon after she was killed I was afraid of having dreams about her for fear that they might be bad. Now I hope that I could but either dont remember them or just dont. My younger daughter dreams about her quite often and she is always happy in them. Julie

our loved ones are always around us.....be still and listen, you do not have to be asleep for this

I think dreams can be a momentary escape from reality.

Lori, I agree, our loved ones are always around us. The affect our actions and words, the way we live our lives. My parents are still here, in me.

I firmly believe that too, but I want to see them.
I wish so much that one of them would appear to me or at least have a really vivid dream so that I can see and hear them so clearly just like when they were here.
I did have one "visitation" from Christin like that. It was extremely powerful and meaningful. That's been 5 years ago and it hasn't happened again. I know it may not ever happen again. It happened about a year after she was gone. Now, I really want to have a visit from Mom. Maybe it will happen in time, I don't know.
Lu

I dreamed about my father twice since he died. The first time was unpleasant and disturbing. He didn't even talk. He just faded away into nothingness. The second time (years after), he came back and we talked, and it was all good. It was like a reunion. The second is the kind of dream I wish for everyone who's lost a loved one.

I had a dream today, the first I've had like this and it's been more than a year. I took a nap, so sleepy I couldn't stay awake despite a good night's sleep. I first dreamed that a co-worker and I were looking though my late sister in law's clothes -- clothing I'd never seen before, in styles later than when she died, and we discussed 'red, white and blue' in her wardrobe. She's been dead for more than 30 years.

Then the dream changed and my son was here. We were in the front yard, talking and then he and I walked away from his Dad. He said, "I guess I'd better be getting on, it's about to rain." I put my arm around him and told him I appreciated his coming and he said, "I hope you'll be able to explain it to Dad." Then I woke, crying.

When I went outside, the storm was much closer and the clouds were dark. 'Frances' is approaching us, now a tropical storm.

Stay safe, Nell. Derry

I dreamed of my Dad a few times since he died in May. It was always the same...your heart wishing for what it can't have; in my dreams, after he died, it seems he always came back to us and he wasn't dead after all. In the dream he had died, but then was alive. The same after my Nana died when I was 17. I dreamt I was at her house next door from us after she died, and I was so shocked and happy to see her. I hugged her, and she hugged me back, so tight. I woke shortly after, and it felt like someone's arms had just been around my body. You know how it feels right after someone touches you. I think my mind was letting me say good-bye, because I never got the chance.
The last dream I had about my Dad was the best...It was about a month ago now. In my dream, he was dying in the hospital, looking the way he did, then suddenly there he was in front of me, fully dressed, having a meal. He looked more at peace, and confident, too. He was neither in real life, my whole life long. My Dad was led to Jesus 2 days before he died by my Mom's friend :). That's the only thing that gets my Mom and I through, is knowing we'll see him again. He had such a struggle in his life, and then in his death. So that last dream was so comforting; yet odd at the same time to see him confident and peaceful. My Dad was a man of small stature, and for partly that reason, he was never confident; and he was an alcoholic, (not a drunk, though) and so was never peaceful. I consider that dream a gift from God. It came right after I asked Him to let me know my Dad is okay. Thanks for letting me share; I've been receiving help from all of you, hearing your stories.
Thank you

Wow! Crissy and Nell, these ARE gifts from God. I truly believe that. I know these "dreams" are visitations that we are allowed. They are so wonderful at the time, but unfortunately, sometimes they leave us feeling sad because we have to say good-bye again. Seeing them in our sleep refreshes their memory I guess. It's good, but sad too.
I'm still waiting for REAL visitation from Mom. I know it will come when the time is right for me.
Lu

I used to dream about my mom and dad but have not dreamed about them in a few years. My dad came to me in a dream, at a time when i was in the depths of a big depression, agonizing over losing him so suddenly. I was sitting on my bed and i looked down and saw his head peeping around the corner at me - it was his head, but on the body of a baby. i scooped him up in my arms and held him tight. he looked at me and smiled and repeated three times - "i love you honey, but you have to let me go....."

after the 3rd time, the lights went out and i felt him evaporate in my arms. when the lights came back on, there was a table in my room, like a kitchen table, and i was sitting at it, but instead of the room being dark, the sun was shining thru the windows. i remember that when i woke up, i felt a tremendous weight had been lifted from my shoulders and for the first time in the 3 months since he had died, i had a new perspective. that was my first day i went to the cemetary with my mom.

deb

Hi, Lulie. I've dreamed about my dad several times in the three years he's been gone. In my dreams he's usually younger than what he was when he died (he was almost 84). Sometimes he has on a blue shirt. My Mom always told me that there was nothing any better looking than a blue eyed man in a blue shirt and he wore them a lot! In all of my dreams but one, he was healthy (no sign of the mini strokes that he had had, etc.) In the last dream I had about him (blue shirt again) he was laughing at inappropriate times, etc. and I realized that there was something wrong with my dad. (He never did this in real life.) I think I dreamed that because I've started really realizing that had the "big" stroke not killed him - there were only gonna be worse times ahead for him.

I lost a very, very close lifelong friend four months after my dad passed away. I dream about her a bunch. She was a part of my "Ya Ya" group and we all had been friends since we were in Junior High. In one dream we're all getting ready to go do something together and I tell one of my friends, "But ---- won't be there!" We get there and all of our girlfriends are standing in a circle holding hands and laughing and she is there, too - waiting on us to get there. I told them I know I dreamed that because she always IS right there with us.

Hope you have the dreams that you need in order for you to feel better. ((Lulie))

If this is any comfort, research says that we dream all the time but we only remember the dreams that we woke up in the midst of. It might not be a full awakening, or you may have no recollection of it, but I guess it's interpreted as any time that your sleep is interrupted. So you might in fact have dreamed about your loved ones, but because you didn't wake in the midst of them, you simply don't know you dreamed of them.

I used to dream about Dad all the time, but it's decreased. The dreams are always good as in context/setting/what's going on at the time. One that sticks out is one in which we're walking in the fields where I used to walk my dogs off leash. When the dogs started getting too far ahead, I whistled them back and Dad was amazed at how well behaved they were. I've had other "Dad dreams", but that one was the most vivid. Apparently my brother also had similar dreams buy my mom never has.

I recently lost my big brother. Since his death in August I have had 3 dreams about him. All of were plesant, at the base.

For my first dream, I really felt that my brother was just letting me know that he was okay and he was still with me.

The second dream was us doing the same crazy things we always did.

And the one I had this weekend, he was protecting me from bad things, looking out for me, and again, letting me know that he's still there for me.

A family friend who lost her only son says that there is only a thin veil that seperates the lives of the living from the lives of their dead loved ones.

And I loved this quote particularily, "The dimension that separates the living from the dead is exactly as wide as the edge of a maple leaf".

Keep your heart. Just because you haven't dreamt about your loved ones doesn't mean that they aren't with you. Perhaps all you need to do to feel them with you is to look at their photo?

Hi - this is my first posting but I could not resist. I almost never recall my dreams - I have always heard that we dream each night. After my husband died I would hear other people talking about dreams they had that he was in and I was getting frustrated that I didn't know if I was dreaming of him or not. Then, on a radio talk show, I heard a woman say that if you don't recall your dreams to buy an herb called mugwort. I went to the local herbal store and bought a 6 oz packet for around $5.00. Following instructions that she gave I placed about 2 oz. in a pouch and placed the pouch between my pillow and pillow case. Nothing happened the first two nights but the third night I dreamed for what seemed all night long! My husband was in the dreams and the next day my mind was in such a better place. It was as if I had spent time with him and it was wonderful! The dreams tapered off for a few nights - still had them but not as vivid or as much. I've made a new pouch because I thought maybe that was the problem - I'll know in a night or two. I've had a lot of people laugh when I tell them this and maybe I would have laughed, too, if I had not been so desperate to see him. If anyone tries it let me know how it works out for you. Oh, no one told me what to make the pouch from but when I saw the herb I was afraid something like cheesecloth might not keep it inside. I have my lost sock drawer where I keep the socks-without-a-mate; I pulled a thin one out and used that as a pouch. If anyone finds something better let me know. NOTE OF CAUTION: One web site I found said if you have insomnia to use this with caution; using too much can worsen that. I have had insomnia most of the two months that I've been alone but this amount didn't seem to make it any worse.

I dream about my mother quite often since she passed in September. Sometimes in my dreams, she is alive but sick, and I wake with things on my mind that I must do for her. Then I remember that she is gone. Other times, she is healthy. I think those dreams are worse, because for a second when I awaken, I forget that she isn't here anymore.

I do feel her around me all the time, thought, and I can hear her gentle voice in my ear, offering suggestions, but never pushing. For example, I've gained a lot of weight this year, mostly due to stress and "comfort eating." The other day, when I was struggling once again to find something in my closet that fit, I could hear her voice in my ear, "Try to lose some weight, dear. You'll feel better." And then and there, I made a commitment to return to my weight-loss program.

Thank you so much for your information. Anything is worth a try when you want something so badly and nothing else works. I'm glad that you finally got to dream about your husband.
I have to go out today, so I'll look for the mugwort and try it. I'll let you all know how it works.
Thanks again.
Lu

I often do pretty well remembering my dreams--and have been fortunate in connecting with my daughter this way. But I'm fascinated with your mugwort experience, Leogirl, and I'll look for some as well.

Susan

Interested in knowing if anyone tried the mugwort...

deb

Regarding mugwort (or any herbs) please check into this for yourself. I went online and read a bit about it then talked with the lady who works at the store where I purchased it to be sure it was safe. It is evidently a potent herb so please know what you are doing before you use it. For example, as a tea it can be very dangerous if you have too much. The only warning I was given about using it in the pouch inside your pillow case was that it could worsen insomnia. Good luck!