Nora and Fran, thank you for your kind thoughts. Unfortunately, our worst fears were confirmed this afternoon. She has adenocarcinoma - 1 1/4" mass in her lung, areas in her shoulder and her back. She will meet with the onocologist on Tuesday and most likely begin radiation that same day. Only a few of us know, she has not told her sons yet, nor our mom or other siblings. My younger sister is with her now, and I suggested that, as hard as it will be, they call and tell Mama while she's at home (not to wait until she comes to the hospital tomorrow, then worry about her getting home.) She will be able to grieve tonight and then be more prepared to face the future with my sister tomorrow. She tried calling Mama, but bless her heart, she was at Mass, so will have that message waiting on her to call. She has 3 sons - two live away and the one who is quadraplegic lives with her. He will be devastated the most - ever since his accident he has leaned on her. It's just all terribly sad. Thanks for listening.

Good responses and help here. First, you have convinced me to have a neurosurgeon, if I decide to have the surgery. The PM doctor mentioned the name of a doctor that he is well acquainted with and worked with when he was doing his residency. Problem there is he is not local, maybe 50 miles away. After your surgery did you need to go back to see your surgeon? I'm thinking that riding that distance could be a problem. Also, did you have MRIs before the surgery, or were CT scans sufficient? I have to admit my wimpiness here, because I don't like the idea of the MRI, and have never had one. I think I would feel claustrophobic. I know they use sedation, and the PM doctor said he would suggest Valium. I have never had Valium for anything. Hi, chemocurl, aka the other Sue. Your description of the disc bursting is how the PM doctor described it to me. He demonstrated it by putting his thumb and finger together and slowly tightening it. The idea of a treadmill is good especially considering bad weather. Wanda, when the problem hit me this time, the pain was like you said, worse than childbirth. I realized I had a problem one day when I was trying to get into a line of traffic from a parking lot, and I could not move my foot from the brake to the gas pedal. I had to wait it out til I finally got it done, and went straight home. Haven't driven since that day. (That was a "revolting development!") Haven't been able to walk much since then either. The odd thing though was that pain was in my right hip. It seems like all of you have had good results, and that is encouraging. I'm really "tough" when it comes to surgeries, which I've had several of, and have never needed help at home afterwards. I think the MRI thing is the problem I need to work on. Thanks to all of you. Any more suggestions will be welcome. (this) Sue

Thanks so much for the suggestions! Maddielee, I am so happy that we will be there for part of the SB Food and Wine Festival and will get busy buying tickets for that event! That is perfect for what we are looking to do. Thank you! Mitchdesj, Casa Tua looks perfect. I hope we can get an outside table. DD will really enjoy the European vibe, having lived in Italy, while in college and beyond. Thank you! ljr, Both Primes look great. Hmmm....how do we choose, or do we plan on both? Thank you! Runninginplace, you have given us excellent suggestions and we are certainly willing to stretch our local a bit for a fine dining experience. Thank you! Holly-kay-Your post sends shivers down my spine. With 3 children, no signs of cardiac trouble....I can't begin to imagine how you coped with all of that. Thank you for sharing your story. One of the things I tell DD is that we now know this was inevitable and nothing could have been done to stop it. Had they married and had children, she would be walking in your shoes. It isn't much consolation, but it does rid her of some of the guilt she feels. "If I hadn't gone to the office that Saturday, I would have been there and could have called 911". NO! Everyone has told her that he had the type of heart attack that occurs in otherwise healthy young male athletes. It took a solid year for the autopsy results (due to a scandal in the coroner's office in Boston over a year ago), and despite the findings, there really isn't any consolation. She knew he did not do drugs or engage in any self-abuse. She is now processing the findings, which make it official, and close the door on other possibilities. Unlike your late DH, her BF did have high blood pressure and a strong family history of heart disease. However, he was an athlete in high school, college and beyond. He had just run a half-marathon in Disney. He was 28 and full of promise. DD says she will probably never find someone who loved her the way he did. I hate the expression "time heals"--hell no! Not when you endure this type of suffering. What you went through is forever woven into your (and your children's) being: an unforgettable, tragic event with long-term pain and suffering. I'm glad you poured out your story. Thank you for sharing it and for your thoughtful insights. "Tried to enjoy myself doubly....." Such words of wisdom from only one who has been there. I wish I could give you a big hug!

I agree that ideal weight depends on bone structure. I'm small boned and look heavy at 140. I also feel very weighed down and bloated at that weight. 120 - 125 is when I feel my best. My friend who is the same height (5'6") has a bigger bone structure and she looks terrific at 150. If she weighed 120, she'd look seriously malnourished. As far as height goes, I've lost about 3/4". I used to be almost 5'7", but have been at 5'6" for quite a long time now. For whatever reason, I'm no longer losing height.