Disposing of items when there are no heirs

13 years ago

My family is very small. My sister and I do not have children and we have no cousins on my father's side. I am not close to the few cousins on my mother's side. Mom and Dad moved to the city my sister and I live in due to failing health. Mom died a year ago in April. Dad is frail and in deep grief after losing his spouse of 61 years. I have a storage unit filled with "our family". So many of the little things remind me of the home I had to disassemble and sell, the holidays, our life together. How do I dispose of the items my mother used to prepare our meals and the tools my father used to earn a living for us?

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Comments (3)

darrah
13 years ago
Since your father is still alive I would check with him to see what his wishes are regarding the possessions.

When I lost my father I kept his boots and a red cap he use to wear, they sit on my book shelf and bring me a lot of warm feelings whenever I see them. Perhaps there are some things your parents had that would bring you warm memories like that. Maybe some of the kitchen utensils your Mom used you could use in your own kitchen.

Once you decide what you want to keep, there are many organizations that you can donate the rest of your possessions to. Just make sure you and your family are in agreement about what to give away.
peytonroad
13 years ago
You did mention your status as childless-could that change in the future? You and your sister may want those items once and if you have your own family someday. Good luck with your dad.
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socks
13 years ago
Is it necessary to get rid of things right now? You seem very emotional, and that is completely understandable. I imagine every little thing brings back memories and makes it hard to think of just donating those things which you remember so well. That your dear mother's hands touched so many times.

One thing that helped me pass along some things from when my mother died was that I donated them to a particular thrift shop which meant something to her. Income from this thrift shop supported charitable organizations in her community. I know she would have liked that. Some communities have thrift shops which benefit local hospitals or other charities. It could be more comforting to donate to these organizations instead of the bigger ones like S.A. and Goodwill.

I recently parted with some more of my mother's things, and you know what I did? I laid them all out and took a photo of them so I could remember those items. Then they went to the thrift shop.

Also, are there friends, co-workers or others who might like to have something--either useful, or memorabilia?

Although you want to save things, and you should save some things, those things are not your parents. Your parents are in your heart and mind, a lifetime of collected memories of happy and sad times, your lives together.

If it's a matter of getting away from the storage expense, perhaps you and sister could go there when you feel up to it and take enough things away to downsize the storage unit.

Anyway, just my two cents. I feel your sadness. My mother died in April as well, but in 2003. I still miss her, and here I am all these years later still parting with some things with sadness.

Deepest condolences to you and your sister.

Sue

Disposing of items when there are no heirs

Comments (3)

darrah

peytonroad

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