I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I went through the same experience with my brother. After he passed, a friend reccomended I read the book "Final Gifts". It is written by nurses in Hospice. It is an excellant book. I wish I would have had it before my brother passed. I have lent this book out several times and have been told it has helped the family members feel a calm. The last person I lent it to recognized many of the experiences and was able to relate and share them with her Mother. She thanked me over and over again. For now, enjoy all the memories you and your sister have. My prayers are with you.

Yes, Lulie you are very kind, helpful and supportive to those in need. You are right about allowing time to grieve. The most important thing is that our loved ones are in our hearts and with us always, no matter what we are doing.

I spoke with a lawyer this week, sorry for not updating sooner but it's been a rough time for me lately... Anyway, I can't remember which poster said he/she had a 'gut feeling' that there is no legal provision for self defence in animals, but that seems to be the most simplified explanation of the situation. Yes, the family member is an adult. He is actually my father. I'm 19 years old and trust me it's surely been a difficult time for me. My dad has changed his 'story' a few times since the bite happened, and it's hard to get anything straightened out. It's turning into a division in the family which is just compounded the already painful situation. Honestly I dont think there is anything that can be done for Lucky. The day after the bite, the officer who came to the house (my mom had to sign ownership of Lucky over to her) called our home and she explained that we would be receiving a call from the Department of Health to explain why Lucky has to be put down. When the representative from the D. of H. called I didn't speak to her, but apparently she essentially explained that the laws in our county are strict regarding second dog bites, and it is mandated that a dog who causes 2 "severe injuries" (the second bite didnt even require stitches so I wouldnt think it would be considered severe but I of course am a layperson) must be put down. I'm trying really hard to move forward and try not to dwell on this. Lucky was techincally my younger sister's dog and she is having a very hard time, understandably so. She is a junior in high school, and all of this occured during final exams week for her. Hopefully my family will have learned *something* from this awful series of events... maybe that some animals just aren't meant to be the pets we want them to be.. other than that I'm not really sure what 'good' can come of this. I guess I'm just glad that he didn't harm anyone more severly than he did. 99% of the time he was an affectionate and adorable dog, and it's just that 1% that proved impossible to extinguish. Fortunately I just obtained a summer job for my hiatus from college, so hopefully that will help me to keep my mind off all of this. It's the only coping strategy Ive come up with.

Oh honey, I sense your pain. You sound just like Hamsteve, the wonderful stepdad who raised his SD w/ his wife, the girl's mother. The biodad there, also poisoned the DD against her mom and stepdad despite not being there for the girl for the most part in any way, provided her w/ a country club partying life and she moved from VA to FL - not looking back. She is the only child there, too. Like most of our advice to Steve, I think and hope and pray this will run its course. Steve's DD has outright been very negative towards him and her mother, not calling, even flying back to their town to visit friends w/o notifying them, etc. Keep the lines of communication open as best you can. The SM's behavior is despicable and so far out of line, it isn't remotely humorous. I can't understand their motive. But, I wonder if all will be fine and dandy in another few months, or more. It's only been a week and a half. As a mom, I know that sounds like a lifetime, but it isn't that long - they're all still in the honeymoon phase. Even my SD's first few weeks here were great. But, then little things began to bug me - I did more cleaning up than ever before and began to resent her. Of course, she never treated me very well in the beginning of our marriage, so we have a history w/ old wounds, etc. Anyway, even under the best of circumstances, it's tough to share a roof w/ someone who really hasn't been there all along. What do you think their motivation was to get him w/ them? It can't be financial, esp. given the miniscule amount they contributed to his well-being. Just plain old jilted feelings from nearly 20 years ago? Maybe try to ride this out, be glad he's not living in some apt. somewhere w/ a nutty roommate, and be supportive. If they continue their negativity towards you, make frequent visits and then see if DS will consider living in the dorm or an apt. Try to talk that aspect up. If he gets a gf, he may desire more privacy, less rules, etc. My SS disappeared from us over 2 years ago. I think his issues are that he is gay, and not comfortable w/ that, and that he messed up. Everyone had high hopes for this boy - he was very, very smart. He either dropped or failed out of college after moving to a partying atmosphere sr. year. He also stuck me on his $25K student loans I cosigned for him. Nonetheless, I tell his sisters that while I'm disappointed, it isn't worth losing the family over and he is welcome back any time. Even they don't hear much from him. I fear there were drugs he got involved w/ for the turn around. DH buries his head in the sand on most unpleasant issues and they never talked about the gay issue. So, after all of this, I'm just saying to keep in touch w/ your son. He should have more and more of a sense of who was there for him through the years as time goes on. Meanwhile, keep communicating, try not to be always defending yourself if issues arise, though that's hard. It's better to give your side of any stories face to face - and I'd plan to be there as much as I could. All the best, Dana