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My sister crossed over on Sunday

18 years ago

I guess I am writing here because I miss my sister. I was caring for her when she died from advanced stages of cancer. I keep questioning myself that I did everything right and she had no pain. I gave her pain meds .She had the death rattle and it was hard because I was afraid she was having pain. I hope not. Thanks for listening to me and I hope noone ever has to go thru that. Hospise was not available for the nightime. They misjudged how sick and close to the end my sister was. I tried to tell them.

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Comments (4)

kayjones
18 years ago
Tomorrow will be the 1-year anniversary of my dear husband's death from pancreatic cancer. Hospice was wonderful to us - they took excellent care of my husband, making his last hours tolerable, even though he was in a coma. I highly recommend them.

Please understand that hospice nurses can do NOTHING without a written doctor's order. You should have been voicing your concerns to your sister's doctor, who would have written an order for night time care.

Please feel free to come over to the single life forum and share with us - we are open to talking with anyone. This forum is fairly slow, so sometimes you have to join another forum.
Linda Giorgi
Original Author
18 years ago
Kayjones, thank you for your reply. We did tell the doctors all of this and hospice said family had to care for the patient on weekends. If we needed help we should call ad I did. I guess I am just second guessing myself. Thanks. My brother was with me and he said we did all we could do. She was in no pain. She was my baby sister.
Lynn
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Oh, Cathy. I just saw this post and I am so sorry for you, my friend. Tough times indeed. I thought I'd share this with you to ease your sorrow just a little THE RAINBOW BRIDGE POEM When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
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Ack! my sister is coming in a few weeks.
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Comments (14)
I KNEW it was your older sister! (I knew it, I knew it, I knew it) I'm the oldest and apparently my younger sister panicked (to my mom) when I was coming down over xmas to see her new (newly bought - used) house! I was ASTONISHED. Moi? LOL! Needess to say it was a great visit and I was just so excited to see her new place. I thought it was great and that she had already accomplished a LOT in the very short time she owned it. (Single woman - so it's all her work - I'm so proud of her!) Trust me, your sister just wants to see YOU, and will love seeing whatever you are doing to your house. Just point to things and say "I'm going to paint that Latte, and I'm going to move that over there." And your sister will listen avidly and nod "Good Idea!" :) Oh, and drink wine while you're doing it. ;)
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The BIG count down until my sisters visit !
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Comments (17)
Thank you everybody for sharing my excitement!!! This is just crazy...and bestlawn, I love your idea, how thoughtful is that? Another shock for her system~ I love it!!! Just a little background on my family. Our parents both died within several years of each other, in 1987-1990. I think the three of us were so devestated, that we all just kept on with our lives. Nobody really spoke about it. There are three of us. I am the middle kid.We live in three different states. Oregon, Washington, and me in Texas. I noticed that my brother and sister just were not talking, and had not for years. Some stupid personal tiff that neither wanted to back down on. Something stupid from the 70's. Ok, so here it is guys....mom and dad are dead, are we really going to not talk to each other for the rest of our lives? I am not going to let this happen. My lifes goal, if I did nothing else, would to get my brother and sister back together again. Whatever it took. I kid you not, I spent years sending them pictures of each other, and keeping each other up on their personal lives. I was determined as hell, and nothing worked. Then, sis was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had a hint of them getting back together again. This situation screamed we would not live for ever, and you two knock it off!! They finally called each other, and my heart is at peace. It just took for one of us to have a brush with death to get everybody there. I know I have gone on too long about this, so I will keep it short, but, sister is coming to see me, and we will be calling brother when she gets here. What ever I can do to keep our family the way it was meant to be, I will do. This Texas trip is a huge, and, I do mean a huge, step in that direction. I will spoil sister with ever ounce of energy I have in me. This trip is an icon for us kids. Trin
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My Sunday and Monday
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Comments (9)
I agree......the poppies are beautiful (I've always loved poppies), the contact with how shop owner was terrific. The rest, is precisely why I don't care to travel anymore, unless by car. My last flight...two years ago, was the pits and we were flying first class! I'm so glad we did a lot of traveling through Europe and the Far East in my younger days when traveling was far better than today.
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jampack
18 years ago
Lynn, what a wonderful sister you were to be there for your sister. I am sorry that your Hospice was unable to help you when you needed them the most. Most Hospices are available to their patients anytime, although in my case the nurse was unable to be with us at the exact moment of death. There is rarely any way any of us know exactly when to call them plus there is always the problem of logistics. Our nurse lived 45 minutes away from us.

I hope that the nurse(s) explained to you what the final process was that your loved one experienced, and often is, very normal at the end. It was a natural physical process and NOT indicative of pain.

You were there for her and how lovely for her. I was there for my sister also and I consider it a priviledge to have been there. It is the most honest way of showing your love and you did that. Be proud of yourself for protecting your sister from suffering and happy that your sister suffers no more.

God Bless you and Keep you and your family.
Jan
Linda Giorgi
Original Author
18 years ago
Jampack Thank you for reassuring words. I needed to hear them. Thank you,
Lynn

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