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My sister crossed over on Sunday

18 years ago

I guess I am writing here because I miss my sister. I was caring for her when she died from advanced stages of cancer. I keep questioning myself that I did everything right and she had no pain. I gave her pain meds .She had the death rattle and it was hard because I was afraid she was having pain. I hope not. Thanks for listening to me and I hope noone ever has to go thru that. Hospise was not available for the nightime. They misjudged how sick and close to the end my sister was. I tried to tell them.

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Comments (4)

kayjones
18 years ago
Tomorrow will be the 1-year anniversary of my dear husband's death from pancreatic cancer. Hospice was wonderful to us - they took excellent care of my husband, making his last hours tolerable, even though he was in a coma. I highly recommend them.

Please understand that hospice nurses can do NOTHING without a written doctor's order. You should have been voicing your concerns to your sister's doctor, who would have written an order for night time care.

Please feel free to come over to the single life forum and share with us - we are open to talking with anyone. This forum is fairly slow, so sometimes you have to join another forum.
Linda Giorgi
Original Author
18 years ago
Kayjones, thank you for your reply. We did tell the doctors all of this and hospice said family had to care for the patient on weekends. If we needed help we should call ad I did. I guess I am just second guessing myself. Thanks. My brother was with me and he said we did all we could do. She was in no pain. She was my baby sister.
Lynn
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jampack
18 years ago
Lynn, what a wonderful sister you were to be there for your sister. I am sorry that your Hospice was unable to help you when you needed them the most. Most Hospices are available to their patients anytime, although in my case the nurse was unable to be with us at the exact moment of death. There is rarely any way any of us know exactly when to call them plus there is always the problem of logistics. Our nurse lived 45 minutes away from us.

I hope that the nurse(s) explained to you what the final process was that your loved one experienced, and often is, very normal at the end. It was a natural physical process and NOT indicative of pain.

You were there for her and how lovely for her. I was there for my sister also and I consider it a priviledge to have been there. It is the most honest way of showing your love and you did that. Be proud of yourself for protecting your sister from suffering and happy that your sister suffers no more.

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Linda Giorgi
Original Author
18 years ago
Jampack Thank you for reassuring words. I needed to hear them. Thank you,
Lynn

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