So sad for you smorose, I also know the pain of loss. lost 4 loves and my husband with in 7 months. wow it is hard. I have happy days. but quiet times alone, I just want to never wake up. Guess we have to be strong and go on. just hope we can help other through such pain.... you are in my prayers. alice..

You have been hit very hard in the last 5 years. I'm so sorry and know you are hurting. There is no answer as to why, sadly. Sometimes these losses just happen so close together it seems intolerable.

You will be happy again, but unfortunately the grieving process is long, painful and slow. So take good care of yourself. Check in here and let us know how you are doing.

It is so hard to make any sense of it. It is just life and it is not fair it just is. I was happy for many good years now, I like you am suffering during these terrible times.

Thank you everyone. I am in an "eggshell" state where nothing seems real. I am in denial, even having seen him in the casket, saw him in the hospital and having his ashes at my home, i think I am either going to wake up or hear from him. Totally unreal, surreal and my mind is not working quite right in try to decipher what is going on. There are days I just don't want to get out of bed. Keep the covers on and wait to wake up with everone still alive. Guess I'd be there for an awful long time if I did do that huh? Again, thanks for listening and I am so sorry for all of your losses. Guess you always feel alone in this type of thing, then you open your eyes and then there are too many people keeping you company in grief. thank you.

assuming i get to heaven when my time comes, i intend to have a talk with Him because i want an answer to this very question. WHY did a gentle man have to suffer the ravages of cancer for 2 years? WHY was he taken from me just when we were so enjoying life together? WHY was i left alone to try and come to terms with all of this? WHY do i still wake every morning, 2.5 years later, and beg for all of this just to be one big nightmare?

i guess when it comes right down to it, even if there IS an answer, it won't be good enough.

i am so sorry for your losses. denial is just one stage of grief, i don't have to tell you that...you are already experiencing it. i am told that eventually, there will be acceptance but i don't know. i don't know if i will EVER accept it. deal with it, yes. accept it, no.

(((hugs))) to you!

This is my one question I have had fo 14 days and I still find it hard to comprehend even though I have went through all the same questions the what ifs,whys and not being able say good-bye and I LOVE U in the end.I just think that hes going to walk-through the door.I just want to see him ,smell him ,hold is hand and kiss him.Im just so lost.

I am sorry for your losses. The pain is inevitable, and although it will always be with you, it will get somewhat better over time. There really is no good answer to your question "why?". The only acceptable answer for me is that the universe is indifferent. Death is a random thing, I believe.

If people are objective, and really observe the world around them, this seems to be the only conclusion that makes sense. I don't believe it is part of some cosmic plan that is not understandable. It is what it is. And it is sad. Human emotions are frail and most of us are far more insecure about our existence than we like to admit. When we lose those we love or care about, it makes the insecurity even more profound.

I know there are lots of well-meaning folks on this board who can comfort you and maybe tell you what you think you need to hear. I'm just giving you my honest assessment of things as a rational person. Please accept your pain and grief as normal and learn to nurture yourself and be your own "best friend". Take it one day at a time. Get lost in some activity or interest. Make some new friends. Give more love and attention to those who you still have left in your life. This will help you. It WON'T cure your grief. But, it will make life feel better.

Remember, we all will slip back into the great mystery one day. Life is hard, but it's still it's own reward. We're all just lucky to be alive. Don't contemplate on whether you are happy too much, and then you will find that you can be so.

RV

Thank you all for your comments. I am trying to give more love and pay more attention to those left in my life. I just have to give myself time but it is very difficult. Seeing a therapist has helped but I think it may be time to move on from there. Has anyone found that therapists don't help after a while? Curious and would love someone's input. Thank you so much.

i'm glad a therapist could help you. i never sought therapy but last december, i did finally talk to my doctor about my depression. he wanted me on an antidepressant, something i fought for a very long time, but i'm here to tell ya, IT HELPS! i still miss gary every bit as i always have and that will never change but i do find that i am much better at coping with the loss and i am finally able to find some joy in my life.

it might be something you could consider.

God bless!