Loss of My Son

zaksback

On 22 Dec 2004 at 1:00 am, my son was in a fatal motorcycle accident and died instantly. I heard about it that morning on the News. The news said that 27 yo male died on a motorbike. My stomach went sour becasue it was in a town that he mentioned once to me. Then my daughter called me and said that I had better come home... I knew then it was my son. He left behind a 5 year old son...It's been nearly 2 months and my heart aches for my precious son...He was the youngest of three children...he was the baby of the family and he was my best friend. When I left home he came to live with me and we did lots of things together. AFter he got married he bought a house 5 minutes from me and he would bring over his son Ryan every Wed nite for tea and we would talk for hours. Travis was very special to me and he was the most loving father to his son. I have read all sorts of articles on the cycles of grieving...I feel lost...even though I have a partner...I feel lovely...I haven't dreamt of him so far....I just can't believe that I am not going to see his smile, hear his voice...I just dont feel happy about anything anymore...I know I have a grandson and he is very important to me...I just want my son

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Comments (13)
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jlj48

I am so sorry about the loss of your precious son. I know you must be soooooo sad, but how wonderful it is that you have your grandson to watch grow and tell him all about his wonderful father. My sympathys are with you at this time and I hope you will write again and share more about Travis.

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lulie___wayne

I am so sorry for your loss of your son, Travis. I lost my daughter and best friend who was 19 in an accident, so I know your pain. It is natural and normal to feel lost and lonely for a long time after such a colossal loss. You will probably feel this way for a very long time. Your life will never be the same. You were transformed into a different person the morning of the accident. I do have to tell you that in time, the intense pain will get better. You will begin to have more good days than bad and you will actually want to live again.
You are blessed to have a part of your son still on this earth. He will be much comfort to you.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
Lu

Here is a link that might be useful: Christin Cosby Memorial Web Site

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dcrowex

zaksback, i am so very sorry for such a loss as your dear son. how devastating not only for you but for his dear son. as difficult as the months ahead will be, you will find that it will be important for you to help keep his memory alive for his son. there will be many stages you will go through and i strongly encourage you to come to this forum and share what you are feeling. you are with friends here and everyone reaches out to each other. share some things with us about your son. tell us about him, about his life, his son. tell us what you feel you can, but come back and post and share. in some small way, i know it will help.

deb

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zaksback

Thanks everyone...It has been helpful...it is probably easier to write down how you feel than trying to talk about it. I've been searching for answers everywhere and this Forum I know will help me through this rough patch.

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Brycesmommy

I'm sorry to hear about your loss...There's nothing in the world more painful than losing a child of our own..My little boy passed away in june of last year before his 4th birthday after a tragic accident & it's been a rough haul but I try to think of how he would want me to live each day & knowing I will see him again keeps me going each & every day. All you can do is take one day at a time & allow yourself to grieve..That's the only way to heal. Talking about him helps me remember the wonderful life he had & how he made me feel..It makes me smile when I remember his laugh & the little things he would do..I hope you find peace knowing he'll always be with you & you willsee him again one day...Your grandson is lucky to have such a loving grandfather..

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Nell Jean

Sometimes it's just too painful to type in all you'd like to tell others. Please be comforted in knowing that all of us here are in the Legion of parents whose child has died know of the bewilderment, anger, longing, despair, and hurt that hangs over us.

In time, things are different. Not necessarily better, just different. Comfort comes in ordinary things with special meaning: a butterfly lights on the dog's food, the wind chime plays the first few notes of the William Tell Overture, a plant grows in a place you never planted, a dream has special meaning, a forgotten memento turns up, an item in a store reminds you of something special, you read a passage that has surprising impact, or you just remember some little incident and it has a different meaning now than it did at the time.

They're with us in our hearts.

Nell

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adrienneliq

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I lost my sister almost five years ago...and watching my parents go through what you are was so difficult. I can empathize and sympathize with what you are going through.

Stay strong,
Adrienne

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luvsgrtdanes

I am so very, very sorry to hear of your loss. My brother in law lost his son on thankgsgiving so I can only imagine your pain. Please come here often it is full of wonderful people who will let you rant or cry and spill out your feelings . Keep close to the ones you love , that is what we are doing and it does help.
take care, Ronnie

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zaksback

It's Travis's anniversary. I went to the crash site at 12:30 am it was about the time he left the area and returned at about 1 am and left us. The moon was 3/4 and dark orange and it disappeared when we got out of the car. The street light went off too. I taped some pictures of him with writing on it to the pole. I looked up and down the street and about 1:08 am I felt a chill and I thought I saw a shadow where the motor bike first hit the curb. Afterwards when we started to leave the moon appeared but this time it was bright yellow. All i know is that I felt some sort of relief; I still miss him. Thanks for all your previous comments.

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des_arc_ya_ya

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear son. Hope you gained some comfort from your experiences.

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socks

It was good to go back to the site. I'm glad it offered you a bit of relief but understand the heartache you are living with constantly. Take care.

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sudiepav

Bless you. I too lost a son (and a granddaughter - his only child) in a senseless accident 2 1/2 years ago. All of us who visit here are well aware of the tragedies of those who write. I'm sorry for your loss and you're in my heart.

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DarrylsMom

So soory to hear of your loss. I too lost my only son on Sept. 27 2004, it is something we never get over just learn to live with it every day. He left behind 2 beautiful boys and they are my link to him. Now Christmas is upon us and we all have to get though it. Thankfully i have 2 wonderful daughters who will be with us for the holidays. This is only suppose to happen to someone else not us.my brother lost his daughter 11 years ago and it was terrible now we must go through it too. I hope you have a nice hoilday,nothing is the same but you get though each day one minute at a time. My sister gave me a little verse in a photo frame it reads Sometimes when one person is missing,the whole world seems depopulated. I thought it was so fitting for some days. But you do have your grandson like me and they do bring back some joy in our lives. Take care and come here often everyone is super great and are very helpful. darlene

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