Oak, if you ever get to Philadelphia and visit the Consitution Center (or whatever it's called, I can never remember, but it's right on Independence Mall), check out the hall of signers. It contains bronze sculptures, slightly lareger than life, of all the signers/ You can touch them and walk among them, and many have shiny spots from people's hands rubbing them, as if reaching back in time to the men who dared such a brave act. Actually, this is really the only thing worth seeing in tht center, but worth the price.

patty...i can feel your pain in your post...i am so sorry about the loss of your brother and how hard this day is for you.....there is a special place in my heart for sibling loss....because it is almost as if somehow and for some reason people who have not experienced it seem to think their pain is less than that of a parent losing a child or someone losing a spouse....i know because of the way people have treated my son on the loss of his sister,my daughter...i read in compassionate friends that when one loses a parent they have lost their past..and one that loses a spouse they have lost their present and when a parent loses a child they have lost their future...but when someone loses a sibling they have lost their past present and future......and i see it eveytime i look at the dead look in my sons eyes...Happy birthday to your brother and God bless you...terri

I find it therapeutic to make a lot of noise, just squall or howl or blubber, just let the "steam" escape; I think it's like "singing the blues", which always makes us feel better. I think, too, that we grieve for the old "us", the one that hadn't been scathed by loss & grief- You'll never be the same person you were before, because loss & grief change us fundamentally, *but you are in many ways a new person & the changes are to be appreciated*. Just like junior high school/boys/hormones change us from little girls to some transitional creature on the way to becoming grown-up, grief adds depth & compassion to our personalities. Appreciate your new self & celebrate your brother by caring for his little nephews (children are gift of that change from little girl to grown-up lady); Don't look back,look at today, & enjoy & love those little guys; they're your brother's nephews, the next links in his chain of life. I wish you healing & peace & joy.

December is a hard month for many of us, isn't it? My older daughter's birthday is December 28th and today I was smiling as I remembered how she hated getting birthday presents in Christmas gift wrap!That was one of her "pet peeves" from the time she was five. LOL She died of cancer six years ago. I still miss her so much! Hugs to all of you who have loved ones who aren't here with us.( I like to think they are still with us in spirit.) Bettye