I have posted already but going down again I am crying, but strangly not for me! death is something swept under the carpet at times, don't talk about it but to shot, last year I had a work friend who I shared my office with died. about a month before I had my leaving do, and she came along, we all knew her diagnosis, but I found myself deep in conversation with her, about what is important in life how she would like her funeral to go, what she would like to do before she died (she managed to get Married the week before she died, 3 weeks after this convo) was she scared cos I know I would be...after about an hour of us talking about this, my kids and work thrown in I suddenley thought "oh no this inapropriate I am probably upsetting her? as it was me asking all the inital questions and her answering but leading to a conversations, so I asked? am I upsetting you? No she said it refreshing to hear someone who wants to discuse how I feel about this rather than trying to talk about things I really don't care about anymore! my life can not be shallow anymore it has to be something! no wasted moments! and then I understood! I had been asking her these question to almost I suppose trying to confirm how I had tried to be open and honest with my parents in the run up to their deaths and feeling well...cruel! but she made me realise that if a person with a terminal illness doesn't want to talk they will change the subject. It can help us to talk to a person who knows they are dieing, god knows, I could have a heart attack tomorrow! for me with my guilt of my parents, and did I do right? and for me and my mortality! rest assured hubby knows what I want... cremation and there are companies that can mix your ashes with gun powder to make a firework and that what I want, they can also make you into a diamond, but I would worry hubby might make me into an engagement ring for his next wife! haha! so what I am saying if someone know they are dieing talk to them about it and other stuff, if they don't want to talk they will tell you, don't just keep refering to that, you and they have a life still and in many ways and this sound strange but I think I benefited more than Jules! but I will never know?

Thanks. Doing that Stocktank pond inground was one of my better ideas. It really was a very big project, more work than I had initially immagined but I am extra pleased with the results. Yesterday I saw a frog sitting in the water hyacinths in the floating ring.

I agree with all of you that these guys are so much fun to watch! I'm sure the hummers being chased off have a different opinion, but, at least in the case of my backyard, they do have other nearby options. My neighbor to the north has a rose of sharon at the corner of her house nearest mine, and I did not see my little sentry chase other birds off until they entered my yard. The neighbor also has some sort of bright orange trumpet vine growing along the back fence at the side farthest from me. So, even though the sentry wouldn't let them in my yard there were still other food options only a few yards away. I do have several of the plants most of you mention. I planted four o'clocks behind the house this year. They haven't gotten very tall, but they are blooming. I also have Grandpa Ott morning glories on a 6'x6' trellis intended to shade my air conditioning unit. I have some Cardinal Climber, at least that what I asked Horn for when I bought seeds, although the leaves are not like the original Cardinal Climber I grew. These have palm frond-like leaves. However, these don't bloom much until/unless I abuse them. If I start cutting them back severely they'll start making blooms, otherwise they just grow foliage all over everything around. I haven't tried petunias since I moved into the house. I did grow them in containers, whisky barrels, on the patio at my apartment, but they always withered and died when hot summer temperatures arrived. Maybe they would do better though now that I can plant them in the ground. Of course, the problem with all these is they don't bloom until either late spring or summer whereas the hummingbirds generally arrive in Oklahoma in late March. It does sound like the cross vine Dawn mentioned might be just what I'm looking for, and I would love to plant some native red honeysuckle. Now I just have to find out where I can get them and figure out where they might grow in my yard. Unfortunately, my backyard gets a lot of shade due to tall evergreens that line the entire perimeter. Dawn, how much shade would the cross vine tolerate? Any idea where I might be able to buy some? Also, anyone know where I might find the native honeysuckle? And how much shade the honeysuckle would tolerate? I may have to get creative and figure out a spot to set an arched arbor or something similar just out in the middle of the yard for one of these. The fence from my house to the south property line gets sun in the morning and has a large evergreen branch that was seriously bent by the ice storms in Dec. 2007 that needs to come down. If I cut that branch off it would probably reduce the shade that piece of fence gets during the later afternoon. Might that be enough sun for one of these two vines to be reasonably happy? Thanks for all the suggestions. If you think of more, please let me know. While I'm specifically trying to figure out early spring bloomers for the hummingbirds, eventually I wouldn't mind digging up most of my yards and replacing the weeds with flower beds of various types. Not only would that be more colorful and fragrant, but it would cut down on the mowing. :D Debra

Hi tash72, I am so deeply sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing your wonderful memories here with the rest of us. There is nothing that will ease the initial pain. For me, I feel a little better knowing that every day here brings me a little closer to the day I will be with my beloved Momma again. Your words above brought to mind a short poem I came across, well before my Momma passed away, and for some strange reason, I kept it. We lost my brother to murder a little over two years before my Momma passed so it just seemed to fit my particular situation. I felt better knowing that one day my family WILL be united again :) My family chain is broken, things will never be the same. But as God call us one by one, my chain will link again. The last year has been quite a struggle for me so I can relate alot to how you are feeling and I pray you find some measure of peace to live your live with happiness as you know your Father would have wanted for you. (((Hugs to you & your family))) Lisa