should grandparents be paid for daycare?
Lynnieco
21 years ago
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mariend
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agosuzieque
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
grandparents trying to adopt - told they have no rights???
Comments (12)This story sounds eerily familiar... My exhusband, father of my DD, has been in and out of jail and rehab (theft and drugs... felonies... wanted in two states) since her birth. He was released from prison in October... he says that the jail took pity on the "light offenders" like him because of the Sept 11 attacks. Since then, he has gotten back into drug dealing, has not held a 'real' job (except for drug dealing, which makes him a great deal of money), has never paid child support for my child, even tried to kidnap her early last year during one of his "vacations" from jail. I filed a criminal summons against him just last week, because of the child support issue; I feel that if he is out of prison, he needs to get a job. Sounds simple to me, but it really p_ssed him off. He called me, screaming, telling me that he will "see me in court", that he is going to take away my rights to my daughter... that I cannot bring in ANY of his records of drug use, his theft charges, even the DUI's that splatter his record. In our original divorce decree it states loud and clear he has to be supervised during visits with my daughter (his mother being the supervisor... can of worms, she is), he is not allowed to drive a car with DD (lost his license anyway)... these things alone, you would think, would make him stop his proceedings against me, but I've been told by his own mother they can prove that THEIR house is better than MY house because they are married, their son lives with them... and I am a "single mother". This is the state of Kentucky, but my hands are pretty much tied. I have an expensive battle coming up for me, to keep my daughter from a drug addicted loser who cannot keep himself from Jail. All because of the Grandmother, who feels her son is "just wanting love from people, just wanting attention". My point to all this is; grandparents do indeed have rights. Several of them. I have been told that during the every-other-weekend visitations that my DD is at their house, they can keep her from me and refuse to give her back to me. Because, "he is the father, he has rights". I tried to prove him "unfit" last year while he was in prison for the theft and drug charges... know what they said? "he has to relinquish rights on his own, you cannot hit him while he's down like this!"... the lawyers and judges said this to me. Makes me wonder why I work so hard, makes me wonder about laws and life in general. Good luck with your situation, the law seems to screw everyone. - darkeyedgirl...See MoreShould grandparents be paid for childcare (new)
Comments (3)Yes, you should be paid, I agree with chaplainkent, it is a job. You are not babysitting, you are providing childcare, as you noted in the subject, and childcare is a job worth paying for. Around here, daycare charges are $200 a week, minimum, so they are getting a bargain. Overnight care is rarely available. But, if you framed this to your daughter as a lesson to be learned by them, I can understand why she's upset. You are both behaving very badly. They are adults now, so your attempts to criticize their decisions, no matter how bad they seem to you, are, of course going to insult them, as it would you if they made comments about how you live your life. You may need to back off for a while, while being as pleasant and cheerful as possible, always happy to see them; and start looking for a job. When you have some good prospects, you can frame the conversation around potential jobs and how they are going to adjust, and what it would take to allow you to keep caring for their child/children. Good luck....See MoreShould a grandparent be reimbursed for gas expenses?
Comments (6)It would have been much better if you had set perameters when your granddaughter was born, but it's not too late now. I think your daughter is taking advantage of you and you are allowing her to, because you fear losing your granddaughter. I can see that, but I can also see that this is just the tip of the iceburg, and she will take advantage as long as you allow her to. You don't have to have an all out war. Begin with little steps-- When she assumes you are going to babysit tell her you have other plans. Tell her you can no longer afford to meet her. Let her get up earlier and deliver your granddaughter to your door. If she goes for daycare she will soon find out that it is not cheap. I don't know what they charge where you live but here they charge $40 a day, that comes to $200 for a 5 day week. There are not often no spaces left and if there are they only have set times they are open. She will have to find a sitter for the times they just want to go out and babysitter fees are not very cheap either. I think she will soon come to the conclusion she has a sweet deal....See MoreUninterested Grandparents
Comments (102)The more I read on here, the better I feel. I grew up with no grandparents, they all died when I was little. My kids grew up with only one set of grandparents because my dad and their dad's dad were far away and didn't care too much. My mom and dad lived about 4 hours away. We saw her every Christmas and sometimes in between when I could afford to go visit her. So my kids didn't get to see them too often, but we had good times when we did. Did it bother me that my mom didn't come to visit me? Yes, but I never cut her off for not being the perfect mom or grandma. But I vowed I would do better. I have 4 daughters, and when I got my first granddaughter, I still had a 5 year old and 11 yr old, and 17 yr old. By the time I had my next two grandsons, I still had two daughters at home. It was like having more kids, especially since they all lived with me when in financial crisis, when going through a divorce, etc. I remember my daughter telling me it was my job as a grandmother to babysit the kids and I should want to, and besides, I had nothing else to do anyways. She was dating online at the time and I finally said no more. I would babysit for her, but not every weekend while she was going out with a new guy each time. Now back to the present where she has cut me out of her life......when she was throwing all the stuff about me being selfish and not spending enough time with the boys, I asked her why she never invited me over her house to visit.... bbq or play cards (I had mentioned it to her more than once) and her only excuse was she couldn't afford to bbq because her bf wasn't working enough. When I asked her why she never came over when I invited her and boys to go swimming.....well, she ignored that one. Two weeks before she posted about me on fb, I finally got them to come swimming, but she brought this new friend of hers and her kids with her and spent the whole time talking to her, so I think that was the only reason she finally came. One week before she posted the fb post about me, I had emailed her from work asking if they wanted to go to a baseball game cause my work offered me free tickets. I thought the boys would enjoy it. She refused. Two days before the post, I had emailed her because I knew her birthday was coming up and I offered to babysit the boys (including her bf's son) so they could go do something special and she said no thank you and don't ask why. I thought at the time it was cause she was mad at her bf. And then I get the post about being such a bad grandma-so I truly was it total shock. I had to stay home two day from work I was so upset. I just don't understand.....if it all really mattered to her, why doesn't she want to make it work when it's offered? Instead she says no, I don't care, I don't miss you, the boys are losing much, and I'm embarrassed to call any of you family. That was also even after two of her sisters said sorry for not visiting more (even though they live far away)...See Moreaileen
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