Time for this to move on.

Ok...well I thought I would give my thoughts...you are so right...there is no reason for jealousy because how could any parent not want the grandparents to love their child... But here is where the reptile...a snake in this case spits venom....when a DIL sees that her children may lean more favorable to their husbands mother...that is a no-no.....in my case, I am the more fun grandmother...my grandchildren gravitate to me when around both grandparents.... My DIL hates it and likely me as well...and for this reason...she just backed off in our lives...our son basically goes with her flow...so we are grandparents with a lot of love to give but only when we initiate a time with them....my son only comes over with his family on a holiday or a meal is involved...but I have had some foot issues in the last couple of years...not as active...and just had surg. To correct these issues...no visit...DIL or son has not gone out for a card for the kids to send...nothing ever nevrr... This got worse when DIL's mother left her husband and moved to the area...she used me for years as a babysitter...hated to see any attention her children gave me or me to them...she did not seem that interested in her own grandmother...so maybe that was the telltale sign of who she is.. While it takes a village, I am no village idiot...I know when I am being rejected....now my other DIL is expecting and I can tell it will be the same way...she knows how close my grandchildren were to me...she has a mother..she will protect her mothers best interest...I have decided to just let it be.... I am not going to put myself out there for anymore hurt...life is too short...and I am dealing with other issues in my own home to worry about someone elses....she is the most controlling person I have ever seen...she is even trying to control what people buy the baby for the baby shower tomorrow...which thankfully I am not attending.. I refuse to show up in a boit cast and crutches only 3 wks from surgery for this woman...its not the babys day yet...its still hers...I bought some great gifts for the baby, but was told that she told her own mother if she did not get the right item, she would take it back... I even hesitate to give these items to her....for fear it will not be to her liking....never mind they are very nice items....this is just what my sons went out into the world and married...the total opposite of their mother....

I didn't know my paternal grandparents. My grandpa died several years before I was born, and my grandma when I was a baby. I did know my maternal grandparents and have lots of memories. They loved to garden. The house that I remember them living in most of my life had the yard totally surrounded by mostly peonies and iris', but also tulips, ferns, and a bed of old fashioned mixed perennials. They also had a vegetable garden and a row of gooseberry bushes. I think this is where my love of gardening comes from :-) Grandpa played Slap Jack with us kids. If you don't know what that is, it's a card game where the dealer turns over one card at a time. Everyone stays ready, and if the card is a Jack, tries to 'slap' it. The person who slaps it first, wins the pile of cards. The person who wins the most cards, wins the game! Grandma made jam out of ripe gooseberries. She's the only person I ever knew who did anything with them other then make green gooseberry pie. Her cooking specialties were applesauce cake and divinity, which she made in HUGE amounts every Christmas season. She made them for all the kids (6) and grandkids (17) but not the greats (30+) every year. She'd stir up a huge batch of cake. She used applesauce as one of the 'wet' ingredients, but if she didn't have enough applesauce it didn't matter. She's just substitute some canned pears, or maybe even some tomato juice. Didn't matter what she used, it always ended up tasting like applesauce cake and was always good. And then after she poured out enough cakes from her batch of batter, she'd start adding more flour and would end up with a batch of applesauce cookies too! My mom was born in 1917 weighing only a little over 2 pounds. She was born at home and it was a miracle she lived, back in those days. I remember Grandma telling how she was up, holding on to the back of a chair, and sweeping the kitchen when Mom was only a week old. Someone stopped to visit and told her she was going to regret doing that. Grandma was in her upper 70s or maybe 80s when she was telling this story. I remember her saying she was still waiting to see when she was going to regret it!!! Grandma collected salt and pepper shakers, so she always received a lot of them as gifts. She used to put the name of the person who gave her a gift on the bottom of the item, saying 'you'll get this back some day'. We, being young, would say 'Oh Grandma...' and she'd say 'Well, I'm gonna die someday, you know!' Grandpa had emphysema. He smoked only briefly, as a young man, but somehow he ended up with emphysema. He was on oxygen full time, and confined to bed when I was in my last years of high school. When I married, at 18, he decided he was going to get himself well enough to 'walk' me down the aisle. He did it too! My mom pushed him, in his wheelchair, oxygen tank and all, and he walked me into the church and down the aisle! What a miracle! There are so many stories, but I'll stop here. I loved my Grandma and Grandpa. I still do.

Many years ago I worked at a convalescent hospital, in admissions. Neither of these two are relatives, just names that brought music to my mind every time I heard or said them. And I doubt that they were unusual for their culture. The woman's name was Cipriana Somarriba. The man's name was Yuichi Shiroyama.