We used to send our grandchildren more. But we are on a fixed income now.. and instead of 20.00 for their birthdays.... we send 10.00. Do we love them the same? Of course. We just are having a hard time making ends meet now that we are retired. But we still celebrate with joy their birthdays and take pride in each grandchild and the special qualities they have and take time to keep in touch, even though they are far away, most of them. I would be willing to bet many grandparents are having a harder time financially. It's a lovely thing to love people where they are..and not get upset over small things. Be glad you have grandparents alive at all, to send anything at all. Its a gift, and life passes so quickly. Just teach your children no matter what they get, to call their grandparents often, and get to know them, while they have time. And be thankful for whatever they are sent. This will serve them well all their lives. They will learn to be thankful in many areas, and to be compassionate, and thoughtful.

The more I read on here, the better I feel. I grew up with no grandparents, they all died when I was little. My kids grew up with only one set of grandparents because my dad and their dad's dad were far away and didn't care too much. My mom and dad lived about 4 hours away. We saw her every Christmas and sometimes in between when I could afford to go visit her. So my kids didn't get to see them too often, but we had good times when we did. Did it bother me that my mom didn't come to visit me? Yes, but I never cut her off for not being the perfect mom or grandma. But I vowed I would do better. I have 4 daughters, and when I got my first granddaughter, I still had a 5 year old and 11 yr old, and 17 yr old. By the time I had my next two grandsons, I still had two daughters at home. It was like having more kids, especially since they all lived with me when in financial crisis, when going through a divorce, etc. I remember my daughter telling me it was my job as a grandmother to babysit the kids and I should want to, and besides, I had nothing else to do anyways. She was dating online at the time and I finally said no more. I would babysit for her, but not every weekend while she was going out with a new guy each time. Now back to the present where she has cut me out of her life......when she was throwing all the stuff about me being selfish and not spending enough time with the boys, I asked her why she never invited me over her house to visit.... bbq or play cards (I had mentioned it to her more than once) and her only excuse was she couldn't afford to bbq because her bf wasn't working enough. When I asked her why she never came over when I invited her and boys to go swimming.....well, she ignored that one. Two weeks before she posted about me on fb, I finally got them to come swimming, but she brought this new friend of hers and her kids with her and spent the whole time talking to her, so I think that was the only reason she finally came. One week before she posted the fb post about me, I had emailed her from work asking if they wanted to go to a baseball game cause my work offered me free tickets. I thought the boys would enjoy it. She refused. Two days before the post, I had emailed her because I knew her birthday was coming up and I offered to babysit the boys (including her bf's son) so they could go do something special and she said no thank you and don't ask why. I thought at the time it was cause she was mad at her bf. And then I get the post about being such a bad grandma-so I truly was it total shock. I had to stay home two day from work I was so upset. I just don't understand.....if it all really mattered to her, why doesn't she want to make it work when it's offered? Instead she says no, I don't care, I don't miss you, the boys are losing much, and I'm embarrassed to call any of you family. That was also even after two of her sisters said sorry for not visiting more (even though they live far away)

Boy, do I know what you're going thru. I have two children to a previous marriage, my first husband was killed. I remarried a few years later to a wonderful man that loves my two kids, and three years ago, we had a child of our own. Our daughter was born with Down Syndrome. She is beautiful and healthy. My husbands parents didn't react so well when they found our she was downs. They treated her like a sick child, they told people she had "a touch of Down Syndrome". Well, to make a long story short, we told them that we didn't want her treated differently than the other gkids. She is healthy and wonderful, and she need to be treated that way. They were angry and didn't speak to us for 8 mos. That was almost two years ago, and still to this day Alison isn't attached to her grandparents. We visit pretty often, but it is almost like they missed the bonding time when she was a baby and Alison knows it. I really hope that your mother realizes that building loving relationships with her family is too important to throw away on a stupid power struggle. If not, she will miss out on so much that can never be returned to her. I understand your frustration, but you can't make her resolve these differences. She made this decision to be angry, and she has to make the decision to get glad! You need to not be so hard on yourself. She's a grown woman with a mind of her own. Maybe you both just need a little distance right now.

The only grandparent I have that’s still alive is my dad’s mother but I don’t have any grandparents. I’m 22 years old. My mother’s father was coward who killed himself when my mom was 3. And she was forced to grow up without her father. And her mother did a horrible job raising her. But my mother is a wonderful woman. She never left me or my siblings in times of need and raised us to be mature responsible adults. And she is a hard worker. Her mother was there for a little of our life and abandoned us when I was really young. Not even 10...that had to be hard for my mom to fill the void. My father’s side was great until my aunt was born. His father died when I was 2, my brother was 6, and when my sister was 8. My dad was only 27 at the time, but he is a great man. He worked hard for decades to provide for 3 kids, and a wife. He was never afraid to be the bad guy if that’s what it took to teach us what we needed to know. And he never stops showing us love when we need him. I’ve had the best parents I could’ve ever had or asked for. But my father’s mother is the worst. She was never there for me or my brother and never even met my sister. I invited her to my graduation party (only because mom told me to) she said she was gonna come and she lied. Not even a congratulations card. I finally told her I was done. I gave her another chance after her mother died but I didn’t even get a half a try. She never called, never asked if I was doing alright in this time of the coronavirus. So I finally deleted her number. she doesn’t deserve to be part of the life a man who’s engaged and has a double bachelor’s. Or a man who is working on a music career. Sometimes I wish I could spit in her face. She is not grandmother of mine, or my siblings. And never told her own son that she was proud of him. That has to hurt my father to the core, maybe that’s partially why he’s such a hard worker, because his efforts were never enough. Not to his own mother anyway.