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shellie6

I lost my Granny

Shellie6
19 years ago

I know this may sound strange to some, but I am 38 years old and I lost my Granny (my Mom's Mom) 12-04-04, She was 86. I still can't get over it. My friends, I'm sure they don't mean to, but make me feel more guilty than anything. I keep being told to get over it, everyone tells me how lucky I should feel because they all lost their Grandparents when they were teens or younger. I do feel lucky, very lucky. Maybe it's because we had so much time together that we just got closer and have more memories. My mom is having a terrible time with it, really bad. Is it immature to grieve so long. I still cry at little things, 9:34am (when she passed) every single day stands out to me. I can be watching tv, get up to get a drink and start crying. I still feel this big empty hole, that won't go away. Sometimes I feel that people are mean to me because I'm acting like a baby. I know it's all in my head, but when the feelings come on, they're so strong. I have the worst empty feeling in my heart, it actually hurts. Somedays I don't care if I even get out of bed and get dressed. I know some people have lost children, spouses, and parents and they have learned to deal, so shouldn't I by now? Is there anybody who feels this same way about their Grandma, or should I just grow up? Thank you, I'm new here I hope that's OK.

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