Most of my family is spread all over America, so I take pictures and send them via e-mail and post them in PhotoBucket for them to browse through. I also send them seeds and plants and trees. When we do get together for family gatherings, it is a joy to take them on tours and talk flowers. The grandkids love all the paths, the Koi pond, and all our animals. Their favorite thing I grow is fruit, especially the peaches. :) I do see people slow down and look from time to time and that makes me happy, but our house is built on a hill high up off the road and there are large trees, so they don't see much. Plus, most of the cottage garden flowers are situated in the back and along the north side of our cottage. However, since my DH cleared out the front along the top of the bank above the road, you can now see up into the north side of the yard, and right now it really shows up with all the fruit trees, shrubs and spring flowers in bloom. I hope to one day have a big white gazebo out there to enjoy. It will show from the road and add beauty to that part of our property. Someday, when we add onto the house, it will bump out that way with lots of windows. There will be access to a deck on that north side through French doors, so we will be able to sit out there and enjoy the view all year round. In spring, the view will be heavenly. All the flowering fruit trees and bulbs and shrubs and green grass. In summer, it is partially shaded most of the day and will be a great place to sit and have cookouts. In the fall, we can watch the colors change on the trees and the fall flowers bloom. The Canadian geese migration and enjoy the return of winter birds. On cold, snowy days in the winter we can enjoy the view from the dining room through the new wall of windows and the French doors. On warmer winter days, I will no doubt sit out there too. Visitors Will Be Welcome. Someday... I digressed a bit there...ah hum! Sharing plants and seeds with others on the Garden Web has been one of the most wonderful experiences in my gardening life! I enjoy giving "gifts" from the garden and I have also received generous pass-a-longs from many of you and others on other forums, as well, and my gardens thank you all for it. Mostly, I have all of you with whom I share my cottage garden, and I am very thankful for the friendship and the bond we have on this forum. ~Annie

You all are such wonderful grandparents. I wish my children (a boy eight and a girl five years old)would have the same type of grandparents. We moved (1 hour instead of 8 hrs. by plane)to be closer to my in-laws about ten years ago and one of the reasons was that our children would be closer to their grandparents. We've been disappointed because the grandparents are hardly involved in their lives. They go over to spend the night with them about two to three times a year and that's all they want. They want the kids only on their terms and at their convenient. Other times when we asked, they usually refused. We only want them to enjoy the kids. We've never asked them to help out with babysitting or anything like that (we have our own babysitter). Once we asked them to help out because I was too sick to care for the kids, they refused. They finally asked us for the kids this year (would be the forth time). Because our schedules are tight and we tried to fit them in so we asked them to have the kids at a different date. The kids got all excited because they thought they were going to grandparents' house while my dh talked to his parents on the phone. Dh hung up the phone and was disappointed because the grandparents said no. It broke our hearts that we had to tell that to them. My in-laws are both retired. They babysit my SIL's children twice a week and would go out of their way for her. They live about 30 minutes away, but are willing to drive there regularly.

My kids used to spend lots and lots of time with my mother. She was, and still is, very active, has a pool in her back yard, etc. Like you, she spends way too much money on them. She still has lots of energy, she's the same person she was, but my kids don't spend nearly as much time with her now. As stargazzer says, they want to spend time with their friends. They rarely ever spend the night anymore, even though they used to practically live over there in the summers. I don't know what your budget is, how comfortable you are with technology, etc. One suggestion I have, if it fits your budget, is to get some kind of computer gaming station or something like that that your grandchildren will enjoy at your house (especially something they don't already have at their own house). You might look at something like a Wii(sp?), Dance Dance Revolution, etc. You might have enough energy to sit on the sofa and play those types of games with them - not dance dance revolution but some of the other games. Your 11 year old granddaughter should be able to set it up for you. The nice thing about gaming systems is that they don't make a mess, the kids love them, you don't have to always be running around after them. When my kids were as young as your grandchildren I limited their time on gaming systems, etc. But if you were my mom, I would surely make an exception so that you could still enjoy time with my kids. There are lots of things your son or daughter could do to help with this issue. Your son or daughter could once a month rent a really fun movie for them to watch, do something with them outdoors all day like swimming (so they are tired), and bring the kids and the movie to your house for a movie night. You could order takeout pizza, snuggle up and see a movie while your son/daughter has a night out with their spouse. The other thing you might do that makes things more manageable would be to have them over one at a time, not all at once. Here's my last suggestion, and again, you'd need your son/daughter's help. My mom lives in our subdivision, and I tried to teach my kids that it's their responsibility to help look after their grandmother. It's good for kids to be needed and contribute to the family. So if you were my mom, I would expect the older girls to come help you on a regular basis. The 10 and 11 year old could help you grocery shop, and their treat for helping might be to pick out some special food treat and have it at your house. My kids used to love to help me grocery shop, in fact they still do. They are old enough to "help" you by cooking simple meals for you. Sometimes when kids "help", it's way too much work for the adult. But if your son/daughter comes over at first and teaches them what to do, then your granddaughters will be terrific help. My mom always has something fun for my kids when they come help her - she bakes them brownies or something like that. Talk to your son/daughter and find some special treat you can get for your grandchildren that's unique to your house. If you are like my mom, you probably don't want to "put the kids out" by asking for help. But keep in mind that in the long run you are showing the kids how to be part of a close, loving family in good times and bad, and your grandkids will feel better about themselves in the long run. It's so much better for teenagers and young adults if they have a good relationship with loving grandparents. They need someone else to talk to when their mean old parents don't like their boyfriend, or is mad about their grades, or won't let them pierce their eyebrows or get a motorcycle. So don't feel that you are imposing by getting help from your granddaughters. My mother misses my kids terribly.

Mercy, have you got a lot on your plate! I admire your cheerfulness & perseverence. I think people have a wrong impression about "mental illness"; they think someone who has a brain disorder acts crazy, when really they usually act like anyone else, & their symptoms often do not include "acting crazy". As you say, bi-polar people can be fractious, argumentative, & unreasonable....& that sounds like a lot of other people as well. I think I might work on that part of the problem first. If he can realize that your daughter really does have a disorder, that she's not just being difficult or using her problems as a crutch, he can calm down & develop more reasonable expectations of her. & I think you're going to *have* to inhale, exhale, take a step backwards, & look after yourself. No one person can solve everyone else's problems, & if you kill yourself from the stress of trying, those grandchildren never *will* get to know & enjoy their grandmother. As far as your hubs's mother rejecting him... That would hurt anyone. but if he can look at the situation from the perspective of his adult self, he'll realize that she couldn't have been a good mother to him then (that's the reason he was adopted), & she still can't be a mother to him. She just doesn't have it. I'd say if he was brought up to be a good person & a responsible adult, & if he's found some uncles who adore him, he's a lucky person indeed. Take care.