When my Mum was pregnant for the first time and went into labor, she went to the hospital. The doctor said "when the apple is ripe it will fall from the tree. We don't pick ripe apples." and sent her home. She returned later the same day and delivered. She had 6 kids and tells us we were all late so she was pregnant more than 54 months of her life. With child #5, she was so late they induced her and she picked March 30th because she thought having an April Fool's day birthday would be awful(and the 30th would provide 2 days to get it done). Naturally, child #5 has always wished she had an AFD birthday. Our BIL and a nephew, who do have an AFD birthdays, love to tell her how it is the best birthday. Hope all is well with you and yours. When the apple is ripe, it will fall from the tree...

Well, there is a lot going on here. First of all, you guys should not have been so hlepful and neither should have the boyfriend's parents. I was 18 and I moved in with my boyfriend, got pregnant and we had a son. It's 4 years later and we struggled and had our families support but they did NOT hold our hands and help us through everything. It was hard and yes we got frustrated but you know what? I'm thankful we had to fall on our face and grow up. We did it fast and it was because we had to not because someone else was saying we needed to and doing everything for us. The only way I think your daughter and her boyfriend will ever grow up and appreciate what you're saying and have done is if they are forced out on their own. As for your grandchild, I'm sorry you don't get to see her. There is some resentment going on that is forcing your daughter to keep her from you. I guess all you can do is try to call your daughter and apologize and be there for her. I know you're probably thinking, "Apologize? For what?" well, I'm pretty sure that you said or did something that you're daughter did not like. It may not be something you think was wrong but it upset her. Like did you maybe put her boyfriend down? Maybe he's not perfect and what you wanted for your daughter but that's not your choice. It's her life and her choice. She's now an adult and a mother and sometimes that's hard for a parent to realize. It took my Mom about a year and a half to break down and cry and tell me I was doing a great job and to apologize for doubting me, my fiance' and questioning his intentions and everything. Just try apologizing and approaching the situation differently. Be there but don't help too much. Don't let them rely on you for money or babysitting or stuff like that. They may get angry because you said no, but they'll learn and someday down the road, they'll wake up and realize you weren't so bad after all. Good luck... ~Leslie~

Good grief. I hadn't even seen this discussion thread, much less read it until now, so I guess I'd better post. I've been so busy at work (still am) on a major project that I barely have time to do a load of laundry so I'll have clean underwear, much less read many disussion threads here... Anyway, to get to the discussion at hand -- When I was about 14 and my brother was about 7, I was in the breakfast nook one afternoon talking to my mother. My brother came in from the backyard, said something, then went back outside. I said something to the effect that it wouldn't suprise me at all if he grew up to be gay. My mother replied, with shock in her voice, "How can you say that? He's just a little boy!" I said, "I don't know - it's just a feeling I have." Our parents died when my brother was 14, and I became his legal guardian. We had always gotten along really well as kids, and I never felt "burdened" to be his guardian. When he was 17, my brother came to me one day when I was in the family room and said that he needed to have a serious talk with me. I said, "Okay." He then said, "I'm gay." I replied, "Yes, I know." He said, "You know?!? You don't mind?!?" I hugged him and told him that I love him, that I'd always love him no matter what, and that of course I didn't "mind" that he was gay. He said that he'd been so stressed and worried about telling me. I told him that I was so sorry that he'd been stressed and worried, and that everything was ok. He wondered what our parents would have thought, and I told him in all honesty that I knew they wouldn't have had a problem, either. In February 1988 he found out that he was HIV+ and I promised him that he would not die alone, which was his greatest fear. In 1993, when he was living in San Francisco and Hubs and I in the Sacramento area, my brother converted to full-blown AIDS and was hospitalized, not expected to live through the night. He was in the hospital for over 9 weeks, 6 of which were in ICU, and I was with him the entire time with the exception of about three nights. When he was discharged my husband and I moved him in with us, and I was his caregiver. He died in my arms in 1994. He was, bar none, the bravest person I've ever known. I love him and miss him so very much.

Thank you all. I did speak with some other Grandma's I know and all said the same thing-yes, they were a little sad but overwhelmed with love when the new baby came. I'm sure I'll feel that way, especially as her pregnancy progresses. Today I had to take her to the doctor as she was so sick she couldn't even stand up. My SIL had taken Ro to day care and he couldn't get off work so I took her, she was happy to have me come along for her first appointment. Poor kid is so dehydrated they couldn't even get her veins to plump up enough to get enough blood for the tests. She'll get an IV treatment tomorrow, meanwhile she's gotten some anti-nausea meds and is drinking a lot of water, and her DH made her some soup tonight. She was feeling better when I left. I had the best time with my baby boy tonight-he's so silly right now-but he's now acknowledging me as Gremma so that's making it a little better for me, I was worried (unfounded!) he wouldn't ever be close to me! He's such a funny guy-had to feed me goldfish crackers and took off my glasses and put them on himself. I think I'm going to love being Gremma to his new sibling now that it's starting to sink in.